Struggling to get mother diagnosed

tiniray

I have Medical POA thank goodness, but for last 6 weeks her dementia became worse very rapidly daily. I tried to get her to see her doctor, but she refused. I obtained mental health warrant and she was taken to a psychiatric hospital. My mom denied being suicidal, confused, and said I was trying to force her into a nursing home. After 4 hours, they sent her home. 4 days later I check on her and she says she had a stroke. She agreed for ambulance to take her to hospital. They did CT and no stroke but her personality drastically changed. Now I’m the enemy! I spoke with nurse about her today and she was so angry. I said you are looking at me strangely do you know who I am? She paused for a minute then said “yeah, you’re my 🤬B daughter”. She has never called me that or cursed at me before it was so hurtful.
This hospital admitted her and finally doctor agrees with me that she needs long term skilled nursing care and cannot live alone. She’s declining so rapidly.

sandwichone123

Oh my, tiniray! What a terrible week for you. I'm glad you are finally getting some help, but sorry it had to be so traumatic. Welcome to the board!

M1

welcome. You did the right thing and she’s in the right place. Hospitalizations are difficult, but the social workers can help you get her placed. Is she on a psychiatric ward? If not ask for a geriatric psychiatrist to consult and be very frank about the behavior changes you’re seeing. Medication regulation may help mitigate some of the aggressive behavior. I know it’s hard but don’t take any of the bad language personally.

Anonymousjpl123

Tiniray I am so sorry for what sounds like a very rough week to say the least. I don’t know what triggered her rapid decline, but it is not uncommon at all. Good you have MPOA. I would talk to the hospital social worker. They can often be very helpful with discharge planning. Have you thought about where she might go? It may be good to visit a few facilities, as they can also answer a lot of questions. Good luck people here have good firsthand advice, so ask is anything.

--Rebecca--

I'm sorry you are going through this. Sending you suppport and hugs. I wish I could tell you something that would make it easier to receive verbal abuse from your mother. I can say there were times I've had to flatly say, "I see you are upset. I'm so sorry you feel this way. I will give you some time to work through your feelings. I'll check back with you tomorrow.' And then I just leave. If you don't want to leave, walk out for 15 minutes and get a soda.

H1235

Welcome! So sorry you are going through this. When mom was diagnosed with dementia I expected loss of memory, confusion, not knowing who I am. But not the anger, dementia is just cruel. I assume the doctors have checked for a uti. These can often cause symptoms to worsen quickly. Not that she would be fine once treated, but still. Keep in mind medication for mood and antipsychotics can take a while to really take full effect and even then it may not be a good fit for her (side effect etc.). Then they taper her off and try a new one. It’s a long process. But she is finally getting the help she needs and you can eventually get her in a skilled nursing facility where she will be safe and cared for.