Mom is in Assisted Living now

NizhoniGrrl

After rehab we were able to get her directly into an Assisted Living in a new community. I was all set to go with the same community where she lived for simplicity, but they were unwilling to work with us to get her placed directly and wanted her to go back to her apartment for a week or two, even though they had a room in AL available. It just became too complicated, and frankly, I was very worried she would start walking across the parking lot alone from AL to IL to eat meals with her boyfriend and end up flat on her face again. I also knew that if she was settled in her apartment again (with a ton of work for me managing and paying for additional outside caregivers) it would be incredibly difficult to get her to move since from her perspective it would be a demonstration that she could manage there.

She has been doing good, but asking me questions about the cost compared to her previous apartment. I told her that her care there was becoming too much to manage, and now with her extra needs due to her arm, impossible. I said that I couldn't handle it anymore and the new place makes it easier for everyone. She didn't argue but I wonder if it didn't really sink in. Her arm still hurts (now in splint) and her hand is very weak. It could be a long while before it is completely healed and I expect that is when she'll start pressing to move back.

We've started the LTC claim process. Really hoping it is approved because the AL cost is waaay more than I expected. All of the places we toured would not give a final price because of the need for evaluation at the intake interview, which seems like a bit a of scam to me.

terei

Before the AL can give you a cost estimate, they need to determine what services she will require and price accordingly.

mabelgirl

I know how the pricing seems a bit shady but the ones I looked at explained the level of care pricing very clearly and what each level meant. I hope she finds her contentment there, I know my mom surprised as she has.

Prayers for success in getting LTC assistance.

NizhoniGrrl

They all gave explanations for their care levels but were vague about what determines levels. For someone who was in independent with once daily 15 min caregiver, they said her level would be low. But then rated her a 5/6 which seemed crazy. There are folks there who are fully wheelchair bound. Is she that close to their max? She needs help dressing and undressing, meds, escorts to meals and back, and toileting 4 times a day. Not sure if they are taking her to the toilet or just asking if she needs to go. Showers (standby assistance) twice a week. We’ll see how it goes.

Anonymousjpl123

It is mind boggling how expensive it all is, and how complicated the pricing is; but i think that is the only model we have now. I would keep an eye on what your mom is actually getting, and the quality of care. A lot of people can “showtime”’or seem like the don’t need much in the beginning but wind up needing much more. My mom was that way for a long time; which made figuring out what she actually needed quite hard.

I think your gut instinct of safety first was absolutely right. Also, even though MC costs a ton, it has turned out to be a money saver as my mom has most of what she needs including health care on site. The amount of stress and worry I was putting in added up to more than I thought it would.

Keep monitoring care. Keep us posted.