Burnout
Today I want to rant, I’m tired and exhausted, I really thought I had a handle on all this, I love communicating and writing on this site, it balances me and helps me to understand that I am not alone but today I feel so despondent for the last few days all I want to do is cry. I don’t want this any more 7 years is enough but I know it can go on and on with no respite in sight. The weather is excruciatingly hot, my DH is getting slower and slower just walking around the air conditioned shopping centre for something to do is so frustrating his APHASIA is so bad we can’t have any sort of conversation, he is waking up at 2.30 every morning seeing and hearing all sorts of bad people and I can’t settle him again or chat to him which is what we used to do, so I lie in bed with one ear and one eye open, it’s up time at 5.30 for a cup of tea outside which is usually lovely but not when I am still so very tired. I’ve got him on 10mg of melatonin , don’t think it’s doing much and he has such a bad reaction to meds that I am reluctant to try anything else. He won’t go to a carers group and we are supposed to be going to the local football club for dinner tonight with a carers group but I’m so tired….. has anyone had success with melatonin or any other suggestions.
Comments
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so sorry. Melatonin doesn’t work for everyone for sleep. Some people it has the opposite effect. It definitely won’t work for hallucinations. Talk to his doctor for medications for sleep and hallucinations. It will take a few weeks to get them regulated. You can’t go on like this. You also need someone to relieve you so you can rest and get away for a few hours.
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Thank you for the advice I’ll definitely talk to his Dr about sleeping. I know I need some help so I can get a little reprieve but he is so difficult in a very quiet way. It makes me feel guilty. I think I am too soft but it’s easier said than done.
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All of this is very tiring and at 7 years it’s hard to know if it is close to the end of the journey or only halfway through. We are at about 6-7 years in and I too was feeling this way today . I give him 5 mg melatonin and it has helped . I agree with SDianeL, medicines may be needed to try again . (((Hugs)))
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I was just thinking today that the good times are getting harder to remember. My wife is in MC and I still can't sleep through the night, but I know it is better when you are not so tired. I hope medication or some assistance will help.
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Sleep deprivation is one of the primary reasons caregivers find themselves forced to place their LOs. I hope medications can help you care for him. DW takes an antipsychotic and it has helped us a lot.
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Definitely look into meds for your DH's disrupted sleep and the hallucinations. You are both suffering. Don't let this terrible disease claim two victims.
It has taken me over a year to begin sleeping through the night. When DH was at home I was constantly on hyper-alert for the least little noise. He fell at night so many times. In trying to get him placed, my intense anxiety had me sleeping only 2-3 hours/night. The past few months it has been waves of grief and despair. Only in the past month have I begun to sometimes sleep through the night, mostly out of sheer emotional and physical exhaustion.
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Are you taking him to the shopping center so HE has something to do? If so, please feel free to stop doing that. It's okay if he does nothing. Minimizing outings and tasks along with maximizing your quality of life should be the priority now.
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Seroquel may help his sleep. Is he on an anti-psychotic?
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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