Not sure what to do

KeCruz

My mother has dementia, pretty advanced in my opinion, though maybe not for others. Her primary care giver is my father who has recently been diagnosed with Diabetes. My mother will not leave the apartment, she is argumentative with my father specifically and she is becoming more incontinent, having accidents. My sister and I are at our wits end b/c we have been trying to get her in home care, evaluations and assistance on how do we get relief for my father. She has an aide was only approved for 4 hours a day which is not enough. My dad calls us all the time that he cant take much more, he is exhausted, my mother doesnt sleep and at night fights with him. I have discussed with a social worker and I am continuously told to follow steps/process but this takes too long and my father needs help. I live over an hour away from them and my sister lives closer but doesnt drive - we both have our own personal challenges. We are riddled with guilt, we try our best to get down to them and sit for a day or two but for me personally my mother fights with me and i find it very hard to be around her the way she is.

I dont know what else to do to help my father in this situation. I was told to contact Alz Association so i will be calling tomorrow.

Quilting brings calm

Have you discussed moving them both into assisted living? Your father could then leave your mom for portions of the day to run errands, visit friends, etc.