Showering

Peaceklb

My mom has Alzheimer’s and is not wanting to eat very much and does not want to shower or clean herself anymore. She gets very angry when we even mention getting in the shower. I posted here before and have tried everything I can , no luck.
IT has been almost 4 weeks since her last shower. I put a chair in the shower and hand bars up as well. When she does get in she won’t wash at all. She’s refuses to let me or my sister help either. She is still able to hold a conversation (confusing sometimes but still talking) , still walking with a walker. She just thinks because she sits all day in her recliner that she doesn’t smell.
She does… I won’t take her out until she showers it is so bad. I think it’s time to higher someone to come in. I feel like a failure.

SusanB-dil

First thing - you are NOT a failure!

Ok. Now we got that straight... it is 'this' horrid disease. We have the same issue. What we did was utilize her Medicare Advantage plan of 60-hours a year for nurse's care. Check to see if your mom has anything similar. We usually have to utilize by 2-hour increments (CareNurse's policy), but some weeks we had to pay out-of-pocket to make it through the year. (As this was what we did last year) Some weeks we went ahead and skipped a week. (We are blessed that a dear friend at least does her hair in the sink every week and she allows it. They've known each other a very long time)

That said, a lot of our LO's are no longer really able to grasp the concept of shower and other hygiene any longer, even with our assistance. For some, the shower/bath might be intimidating, or just too much to think about. Do NOT take it personally. I know that isn't always easy.

ronda b

Your not a failure. This is normal for people with alz.. Seeing she will take a sponge bath.

Peaceklb

I’ll check that out, thank you.

H1235

What about powders and reminders to use deodorant. I know that’s not ideal. They make a dry shampoo. Mom is in Al and I can’t even imagine her allowing me to help her shower. I think getting an aide to come in might be best. This is not your fault.

psg712

We had much more success with an aide helping my mom shower than with me trying to help her. Even so, she now rarely permits a full shower. She will allow sponge baths and the dry shampoo caps ... depending on her mood that day.

AmandaF

My mom’s the same way. Now that she’s in a facility the staff manages to get her in the shower every week but she’s never happy about it. It’s not your fault, it’s the disease.