Just need to talk to my friends (204)

jfkoc

Carl…muscle, fat, diet…I will walk tomorrow with my outside rollator. I wil pick up the hand weights on my desk and will move more inside.

BethL

Good information, Carl! Thanks for sharing.

Carl46

I'm back. It doesn't take long to wear me out after two years of shuffling around in slo-mo with DW. I am weak as a kitten. I walked up the hill to the cemetery and down and enjoyed it immensely, but it tired me. By autumn I will be walking much farther. I already have a new pair of walking shoes and a big Panama hat to keep the sun off my head.

One of the best ways to get in some walking is to walk a dog. The dog won't let you skip days, you will get some sunshine, and you can socialize with the other dogwalkers. My SIL who loves pastry lost her house with fenced yard to a tornado and moved into a rental without fence. She walked the dog twice a day and lost a lot of weight. Her diabetes improved and she felt better. Then the insurance money came and she bought a house with fenced yard . . .

My SIL the dog trainer says: "If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise."

Carl46

You're welcome, Beth. You know I love the sound of my own voice.

Good for you, Judith. Start where you are and get stronger.

GG, you can have some chocolate and be healthy. But when you do like my SIL who loves pastry and order two desserts instead of an entree and a dessert . . . Let's just say that a slice of cake in one hand and a slice of pie in the other is not what is meant by a balanced diet.

All things in moderation. Exercise, but not until it hurts. Eat a little chocolate, after you eat the protein and the veggies.

The best exercise is that you enjoy and will stay with. Some people like to run, but I find it incredibly boring and wouldn't do it even if my old joint injuries permitted me to do it. Some people like boxing, some hate it. Some people like swimming laps, but social people don't like it because you can't natter with others while you do it. Just don't buy one of those things that move your feet back and forth while you sit. If it doesn't stress your muscles and bones, it won't cause muscle and bone growth or prevent muscle and bone loss.

Lorita

That's what I should do - walk the dogs. Really is sort.of hard to walk two Great Pyrenees but they are really good and love it. Our mailbox is over a quarter mile from the house, sort of downhill so if I could ever walk down there it would be uphill coming home. Part of it is level Though. Maybe that could be my goal this summer. I need to trim their toenails. Not hard to trim Stormys since I started when he was a puppy but it is another story for Sheena..She was a year old when I.got her and I don't think her owner ever trimmed them. I need two hands to hold her foot and two to trim the nails. These guys are really strong.

GG, for the life of me I can't see playing golf. Carol's husband is 82 and he plays almost every day with up to 12 men who are all in their 80s and early 90s. My BIL and his wife played when they were in their mid 80s and loved it

Okay, good night again. Sleep tight.

.

Carl46

Golf is a good example of a sport some people love and some hate. The man across the street plays twice a week in season and watches it on TV, but I knew a lawyer who went into government because he was sick of playing golf with clients and other attorneys. I don't think golf is a great choice for fitness, because it's seasonal and because a lot of courses require carts to speed up the game. What a way to ruin a good walk!

I see a lot of people walking the paved drives within the 120 year old cemetery at the top of the hill. It has a lot of trees, mostly red maple, and walking under trees is very relaxing. Or I can go to the botanical garden and walk there. Or just walk around the block and wave at the people working on their yards. Anything to get off the couch.

Good night, friends.

GothicGremlin

Lorita - I don't understand why people like to play golf either, although my dad loved it. We had to do 'golf lite' in high school. It was kind of like being on a driving range, and I was excellent at it. And by 'excellent' I mean my ball sat right where I thought I hit it all nice and covered with a mound of dirt. Not my game. 😄

Carl - Fortunately for me, I don't really like creamy things. I rarely eat ice cream, pie has a horrible texture and I just can't deal. Food that moves of its own accord is right out - things like mayonnaise, sour cream, and jello fit into that category. Thankfully I like most vegetables.

As for exercise — running doesn't feel good to me. Maybe it's too high impact? Boxing and kickboxing are fun because believe it or not, there's strategy and tactics involved. You're constantly making choices, which is nice.

Probably my favorite piece of gym equipment is the earthquake bar. It's for chest presses. The bar itself only weighs six pounds, but then you add weights on either side - and with the bands, it's really unstable. It works not only your shoulders, but your entire arms (and other muscles). I'd never use this bar without a spotter.

Carl46

Never heard of the earthquake bar, but I can see it would be a really good workout. Working several muscles is why free weights are better than those weightlifting machines that only allow movement in one direction.

While we're on the subject, it is a good idea to do some core exercises the prevent lower back pain. I do Williams exercises, as prescribed by a physical therapist many years ago. If I do them twice a day, I don't have low back pain. If I slack off, I do. It consists of a back lift (raising my torso while lying prone); a crunch (partial situp lying supine); pelvic tilt lying supine (my wife calls it "screwing the light fixture" but it amounts to pressing the small of the back to the floor); and straight leg raises. Ten reps each, twice a day, takes only a few minutes. I met a lady who achieved the same result by replacing her office chair with a large ball. The ball was constantly trying to roll, and her core muscles were worked all day keeping her from rolling off the ball. She looked great, so I guess it worked.

I tried boxing a long time ago and didn't like it, so I don't do it. If it fits your personality, have at it, it's great overall exercise, weight bearing as well as upper body.

I enjoyed aerobic dance many years ago, before I hurt my foot. I'm not a good dancer, I look like a dancing bear, but I enjoyed it and it made me strong and, for a big man, graceful.

Mint

Good morning

Seems like you get good care Ron

BethL

The exercise information here is interesting.

Regarding the bench press…..there is a young man in the cemetery I used to walk, who dropped the weight on his chest and died. So very sad. Spotter should be mandatory for this.

I have exercise class this morning, seeds to plant and lawn to mow before the rain comes. We have the possibility of strong storms tonight. I pray we don't. I went through a tornado with moderate damage (took 6 months to get all fixed) in my previous house and don't want to ever go through that again.

A few words of wisdom: Be kind, be busy, be generous and stay safe. Take care of yourself; no one else will.

Beth

harshedbuzz

Good morning. Clear, warm and breezy. Perfection as weather goes.

So much talk of exercise. My preferred form is walking outside. Unfortunately, my left knee is too arthritic to manage it right now. I plan to have it replaced at some point— once mom is fairly stable. I was looking to potentially this summer, but now I have something going on with my right wrist, so I'll need to sort that out first. There's no way I would move around with a newly replaced knee in bed or with a walker/cane using this hand.

I have an appointment with a hand specialist tomorrow morning to sort things out. I'll need to get DS to drive mom to the pulmo tomorrow in case things run late. This will not make him happy. Pity I couldn't see the doc Wednesday as my bestie is seeing her hand surgeon in the same office and we could make a day of it.

I rather enjoyed golf when I played. I think a big part of enjoying it is who you play with. I used to play mostly with mom and DH— sometimes on an executive or 9-hole public course where we could carry or use a hand cart. We avoided playing with dad as he was always too worried about what others would think at the club. Ugh. After they moved to their house on a course in retirement, we'd sometimes go out in the evenings after dinner and play a few holes while DS followed in their cart.

Mom went with my niece and her husband to take niece's nephew/adopted half-brother to buy a suit for prom. Biologically, he is my mom's great grandson but since my late sister's husband (BIL) and his idiot 3rd wife adopted him it's hard to know how to describe the relationship. It's complicated. My mom doesn't relate to the kid; last month she told me he was trans. I asked her why she thought that. She said it was because he wears black nail polish and eyeliner sometimes. I tried to explain that lots of boys do that these days which blew her mind. She had a great time with him shopping and then at Outback which is nice.

I don't know how I feel about her riding with him— it's an hour's drive and he's only recently licensed. But actually, I am more concerned about the condition of the car and whether BIL has it insured. BIL is always broke and not ethical, so who knows.

I need to make some dough before heading out for my appointments later. Pizza today. DS will need to roll it out for me. He's not going to be wild about that either.

HB

Lorita

Morning, all of that sounds so hard. I get a lot of lifting just with 40 lbs. Sacks of dog and cat food. and the cases of canned food. I think I will stick to that and the recumbent bike and add some walking with the GPs.

Trying to decide if I want to go to town for some sweet feed and creep for Billy. He has loads of grass and I give him hay. He's lonesome and is staying in the barn and closeby. Beth, we're in for storms tonight and tomorrow. Wish we could miss that and we don't need rain now. Would be nice if we could save it until July and August. Heard the little.birds calling so fed them and Rusty It's really windy and getting cloudy. You all take it easy today. Will be back later.

jfkoc

So in the name of fitness I did a few arm exercises when getting dressed this morning, I was at my desk by 8a, I cleaned of the plywood table top (explanation follows) and I put a stamp on an envelope lol.

Table top…years ago everyone was here for thanksgiving. Since my dining table only sat 6 I had a 4x8 piece of plywood "refined" and set the table for 10. The next morning I found all sorts of messages written on the plywood. Now whenever we gather for a holiday/birthday/etc the top comes in from the garage for new messages. Does it look nice? NO, but everyone loves it.

Under the plywood is a table Dick had made when he was with Air America. I would toss it except it too is now sentimental. One small piece of bamboo/rattan fell out so my son went over to the Christmas tree, clipped out a piece from a branch and filled in the space. Now the table is a memory that must remain in the dining room.

Walk just one dog every other day.

Lorita

Judith, we need to hold onto those sentimental things. We have memories but those things are something we can touch and know they did, too. I remember when you used that piece of plywood and people wrote on it.

Decided I would go to town and get some feed for Bi!ly, return two lamps that were too short and had to.be put together and get some plants. Only gone about two hours but the GPs were beside themselves with joy when I got home. Nice to have someone here to greet me when I.get.home.

Bought pink.periwinklesor the bathtub, a geranium for the porch (Rusty will probably eat it) and a couple of bright green sweet potato plants for the big pot on the steps.He will eat those so may put them in hanging baskets. Plants have gone up since I bought them two or three years sgo. It's supposed to be very rainy the next three days so won't plant until after that.

Also got new collars for the GPs at the feed store - a blue one for Stormy and a bright pink one for Sheena. They were both wearing green ones I bought there a few years ago. Bought some leather ones a couple of years ago but they are too stiff -these are some kind of softer stuff.

Bought 100 lbs. Of fortified sweet feed and 50 lbs. of 20% creep for Billy. Mike said Billy wouldn't eat feed with the girls this winter, only hay. With his vision problem he is kind of a loner, probably kind of afraid without his mother, Sweet Pea. He will enjoy the feed.

Good idea, Judith.but there would be jealousy. They really are pretty good.on leashes if I don't get tangled up in the leashes. I have a couple of 6 ft. Ones that might work.better than the short ones. Wal-Mart was jumping with people, several wearing masks. I asked the clerk if they were getting short on !merchandise and she said some stores were.

Iris, I remember when you had a really good supply of TP, might come in handy soon. Going to rest a bit. This going to town is for the birds. How did I ever get up, dress, have breakfast and get to work,mostly on time, for 33+ years?

eaglemom

Goodness, we have the winds back. I was combing my air, for the tenth time it seemed and DH asked me why. You know I couldn't answer him, so now I'm just going with the windswept look all day! The dog loves sitting on the patio facing the wind and letting it blow in her face.

I've gotten the outside rugs all put out and finally the patio and lanai are taking shape. Its amazing what a little bit of color, or in my case a lot of color can do for a spot. There is so much I'd love to do, but alas it seems each day the knees are worse right now. Color me unhappy.

Golf, its an interesting sport. I got into golf in high school because DH was on the long distance running team. They ran around the golf course because of the hills, etc and thus I quickly because a fan of golf! The crazy thing is I found I liked it & was strong. I had very little ball control, but I could knock the stuffing out of the ball. Then I was a good putter. My crazy way of playing got me to State two years in a row!! After high school I've not golfed and here in TX I have no desire to golf either.

Let's be safe out there. I think everyone has let up on the handwashing, we've got several friends down with covid again. Not trying to scare anyone, I just want everyone to be safe.

Lorita

Hi will try this again.. My .comment posted when I was trying to correct it!. Then when I clicked on post comment it reappeared but when I tried to correct it disappeared.. Is anyone else except HB and I having problems?

Severe weather out in SW Oklahoma and will move this way. We will have severe weather off and on until Wednesday..

Went out to feed Billy. He was in the back.of the barn. I put down the feed, opened the crib door and found the pan I wanted and he was already at the feed.. Put it in the right one and he dug in. I haven't seen him.out grazing today.. He is lonesome.

I just heard that Gene Hackman may have starved to death.. His wife and caregiver died a week.before him so he wasn't able to care for himself.. How very sad. Shows the need to have a plan B and have a third person check.petiodically.

The GPs like their new collars, size 28. A little.big.but fasten in next to.last hole. They look cute.

Everyone stay safe tonight.

Lorita

It posted!

GothicGremlin

We'll see if this posts. I clicked on the notification icon and got the message that the site couldn't find the thread I was looking for. So, I clicked on the "Just want to talk to my friends" link in the spouses/partners forum and got here. Whether or not this posts is another story.

Carl46

We are looking at storms tonight and tomorrow with flood watches through Wednesday, with lots of wind. In other words, normal April weather. I got DW moved to the new MC with only minimal hitches and I think she will adjust easily. She had pretty well adjusted to the interim NH, and this is the same only the bedrooms are about 4 times as big and the food isn't as good. I don't think she much cares about either the room size or the food. The new place has a better memory care program so that's what I want. The new place is about $70/day less expensive, which wasn't the point but I'll take it.

DS has called twice today, wondering why I moved her and why I didn't place her in the NH my mother used. I'll have to take him there and let him see it for himself, then maybe he'll quit worrying about it.

Carl46

Question:

I couldn't bring myself to make so much as oatmeal and coffee this morning, so I went to the diner for mid-morning breakfast. Just as my food came, an elderly woman who had been sitting alone came to my table and introduced herself. She said she prayed for people, held my hand in both of hers and prayed aloud that I find strength to deal with my troubles. She returned to her table and I ate. Then when I asked for the check, I learned that she had paid for my food as well as hers.

My first thought was that she was very nice. My second thought was "My God, they're circling already." DW and I have been almost daily customers of that diner for years, and all the regulars have seen me leading her by the hand and cutting up her food.

In your opinion, is this woman kind, is she nuts, or is she angling to be next on the list of people I take care of?

Sasue

Hi, it’s been quite awhile since I’ve posted. I’m still reading daily.

Carl, thanks for the chuckle. I guess you’ll just have to wait and see what happens next. I hope your DW settles in quickly and that your son is satisfied with the facility. These golden years are not for the weak.

Ron, I hope you decide to move closer to your family. When my son and DIL invited me to move with them I didn’t hesitate. Being with them solved the worry of being alone especially if something happened to me. It was difficult leaving my home after 56 years. I packed what I knew I needed, what I couldn’t leave, photos a few special things that had memories and walked away. My son arranged an estate sale and that was the best way for me. I still miss home and of course the memories will always be with me.

I’m sorry for all the heavy rains and severe weather some are experiencing. We could use some rain here in Virginia. I suppose when hurricane season really gets started I might change my mind. Lorita, isn’t it nice that Stormy and Sheena give you such a big welcome home. My sons 2 dogs are the same way. The new collars are probably more comfortable than the leather ones. Glad Billy is enjoying his feed.

I think this is going to be a very hot summer. We’re already getting temperatures in the upper 80’s. I don’t post often because nothing much happens. It’s always amusing to watch the horses, mules and chickens, the scenery is beautiful but it’s difficult to meet people when we’re so far from town. It’s a small town without much in the way of activities I could join. Thank goodness I love to read.

Hello to all the posters, Mint, Judith, HB, Marie, JeriLyn (love your animal stories) Gothic, Carolyn and all I’ve missed. Prayers nightly for all caregivers and those needing care.

Sandy

Carl46

Sandy, I love Virginia. I agree about the hot summer, I saw 82 degrees today here in Missouri. We just have to adjust to the changing climate. I think it was in Virginia that I saw kudzu jelly for sale. Talk about making lemonade out of lemons!

Lorita

Sandy, so glad you posted. The picture is beautiful but so different from where I live. I can't imagine seeing mountains but if you go a long way east of here you can see the Boston Mountains in Arkansas. I know you miss your home where you lived so long with Rich but now there is someone with you most of the time. The area is so different from South Holland but I think you have adjusted to it and everything else even though it hasn't been easy.

Billy is doing okay but I know he's lonesome. He stays in the barn most of the time. Really enjoyed his sweet feed today - it has molasses in it. Still haven't petted him but know I could. He was about a foot from me today when he came to eat. I dread the stormy weather and rain for the girls. They always headed for the barn when it would start to sprinkle. Now there is no shelter for them. They're across the road from Darwin so he sees them every day.

Take care, Sandy, we'll talk soon. Still watching Rachel.

Carl, the lady is probably just being kind because she knows you're missing your wife.

Good night, everyone. Sleep tight.

GothicGremlin

Carl - maybe she read the same article that I read awhile ago about what happens if you do an act of kindness every day. Maybe this was her act of kindness? I don't think she's nuts, but you can't rule out that she's hitting on you. I know, I have a suspicious mind, but I'd rather believe the best in her.

Sandy - Is that Virginia? It's gorgeous. I've only been to Virginia once, and that was to Reston. I'll take your hot weather and trade you the very cool PNW weather we had today + the light rain we had this afternoon.

Beth - Yikes! (about the young man who died) This is why I only do exercises like that with a spotter. Your words of wisdom are wise.

HB - eyeliner and black nail polish says "goth" to me. 🙂

jfkoc - oh my gosh, of course you have to keep that table! I'm the same way. Our table belonged to my grandparents, and then when they passed away, it became my parent's dining room table. Now that my parents have passed away, my s.o. and have it. It's nothing special to look at, but it's special to me. The only way I'd give it up is if I gave it to another family member.

eaglemom & HB - oh you golfers, you. Maybe I could have picked up a few tips from you both.

I saw that about Covid … I also saw that we might not be getting a vaccine in the fall. Ugh. I guess we'll find out.

Lorita - I saw that about Gene Hackman and his wife. So very sad. I wonder if she thought she had everything under control?

I'm thinking about getting a Costco card and going shopping this week. I really hate big box stores - they're so big, and I'm so directionally challenged. Looks like I may have to deal.

I hope the severe weather passes you by.

In other news, I took a nap today so that I can stay up late for Death Guild tonight (virtual for me, live if you live in San Francisco). Looking forward to hearing some music and chatting with friends.

My s.o. made vegetarian chili tonight for dinner. That man has that recipe down. It's so good!

Carl46

GG, you are right about the daily act of kindness. How could I have forgotten the Boy Scout motto?

Beth, I agree about the need for a spotter when doing heavy lifting. I recall lifting the barbell off a man who was lifting without a spotter and asked for help with neck cords bulging. Lucky someone was near!

Eyeliner and black nail polish - is it possible the lady thinks "trans" means Transylvania?

I accidentally made some good bean soup the other day. I had some tomato sauce left over from pasta night and some rice left over from stir fry night, so I added a can of pinto beans and a can of great northern beans. Surprisingly good!

It's nearly midnight. I am going to bed as soon as the clothes dryer stops. Good night.

harshedbuzz

Good morning. The rain moved out yesterday afternoon at about 4pm so we were able to enjoy our dinners on the patio which was a bonus. It's cooler and windy today, but not raining which is good.

Gothic G— I hear you on height lost, mom started out at 5' 2 1/2" and is barely 4'11". The height loss has impacted her BMI which probably irritates her more than not being able to reach above the bottom shelves in her kitchen.

LOL, on Georgia O'Keefe as mischief-maker. I thought she looked as if she was planning to have him for, ahem, "lunch".

Ron— Is there any way you could make a trial visit to your son's area for a couple months and see how it works for you? Or maybe split the year between the 2 places? To my ear, you sound kind of hesitant if you're presenting barriers without seeking solutions to them. Or maybe that's the depression talking.

I hope your new medication is a good fit. It sounds as if they're prescribing Cymbalta or similar. The receptionist at the hair salon takes this and swears by it. In addition to depression/anxiety she has pain from fibromyalgia and Ehler Danlos.

Beth— Thanks for the information. I know my mom took Fosamax for 5-6 years when she was still splitting the year between MD and FL. I wasn't impressed by the care in either place, btw. In MD, the PCP office seemed to bring in a new doc every 2-3 years so it was hard to establish a relationship. Their specialists were all in FL and were a mixed bag. There was no coordination between the docs. She doesn't recall having GERD, but I do recall her living on Gaviscon during this time and later found the diagnosis listed in records from her FL pulmo.

The other risk factor was her being treated for 2 rounds of several years each of Giant Cell Arteritis with high dose steroids. I don't see her lifting weights, getting her to walk and do her balance PT is a challenge but she does eat an excellent diet and loves protein. She's the one who suggested prime rib as a side dish at Thanksgiving.

Mint— Mom was aware of the risks of Phossy Jaw and freaked out because of the time and expense she went to for her dental implants.

Your thoughts on VA care are interesting. I know my BIL uses the hospital in Charleston for some things like his many MOHS procedures, but not for anything cardiovascular. It seems like the wait-times are longer than we have here. That said, I am in a very well-served area medically so my expectations may be unrealistic.

I hope all have a pleasant day.

HB

harshedbuzz

Good morning.

The above post is a ghost post I made early Sunday morning. If it seems a little stale or off-topic to you, that's why.

Eagle— Your knees must be talking to you with all that work around the house. Maybe you should grab a seat on the lanai and take a well-earned break. I'm sorry your friends are ill. I suspect it's more than handwashing (COVID is considered airborne— still handwashing is best practices)— people's immunity from vaccines and having the virus wanes fairly quickly. I know exactly 2 people who have had a booster in the last 6 months— mom and my friend the diver who travels internationally all the time (she's off to the Philippines this morning). I talk to mom's pulmo later about another round of boosters.

Lorita— I'm sorry your posts are going rogue, too. It is so weird.

Gothic G.— The board has been quirky for me of late. Both on Edge and on iOS. I have gotten notifications in the past that disappeared when the original poster deleted for some reason. I had the same thought about the eyeliner and nail polish, but I think it was his emo phase. His new girlfriend is a Taylor Swift look-alike, so maybe he's still working out where he fits. At any rate, said boy got a nice suit and all the furnishings including a pair of black socks with lobsters on them. Mom's idea.

Carl— It's hard to know what's in someone's heart. Perhaps she has walked the road you're on and feels for you. Or maybe she just wants to jump your bones.

I always tell my husband that if anything happened to me, there'd be a line of women with casseroles at the door the next day. He's attractive in a very professorial way and attracts a certain kind of brazen lady. I once left him on a bench to slip into a store for a birthday card and 10 minutes later returned to find some woman trying to get him to go to the wine bar down the street. He's kind of shy and was very happy to see me come out.

Sandy— That picture is beautiful. I have a friend who lives outside of Roanoke on a hill that looks very like your picture. She moved back to look after her parents and took up many of her mom's activities when she did— church choir, historical society and teaching in the high school.

____________________________________________________________________

Appointments today. Lunch with bestie tomorrow. I'll give her the crib mattresses I bought for next month's shower. It's a display shower at a restaurant so it seems pointless for me to haul them day of when mom-mom-to-be can deliver them now and spare the couple valuable cargo space after the event. I have a couple of packs of Winnie the Pooh onesies and some Sesame Street hoodies I'll bring to the shower. I need to stay out of stores as baby things just seem to leap into my cart randomly. Seriously, I almost bought stuffies at Wegman's when I went to buy fruit.

HB

Mint

Good morning

BethL

Thanks for the links, GG.

Beautiful Virginia! Wow! You live in a gorgeous place, Sandy. I'm glad your kids welcomed you to live with them there. Do you use the pool?

Have a wonderful day! Beth

Lorita

Morning, Darwin called and woke me. Normally I'm awake st 7 after setting my alarm but guess I forgot. He said we had a terrible storm go through during the night. Rain and strong winds so guess I slept through it. Really bad storms north.of us now and we get it this afternoon. I.checked outside and everything looks oksy. It's raining again. Glad I got into town yesterday. I didn't read posts but will later. Hope all is well.