New Member, First Post - Power of Attorney

wawalker22

I have three siblings and one lives fifteen minutes away from my mom. I live in another state but manage all her finances and anything else I can to take the load off our sibling who lives locally.

When I agreed to be my mom's power of attorney, I naively thought it would only come into play for her finances. However, this past weekend I had to use it for the first time to stop her from moving out of assisted living. She managed to contact a mover and coordinate a move back to her house (though she gave them the wrong addresses). I saw the confirmation come through her email and, after consulting with my siblings, played the POA card to cancel the move.

She is not happy. We moved her into assisted living two months ago and she HATES it. She has always been extremely independent and incredibly stubborn if someone tried to infringe on her independence. When I spoke to her this weekend about canceling the move, she sounded very lucid and like my stubborn mom who wants to be at home. My brothers have to remind me that the mom I'm talking to on the phone does not resemble the day-to-day mom when you're with her in person.

Mom going home would be a disaster. Next month my siblings and I will clear out her house and sell it. As her POA, I have the authority to do this. However, ever since I canceled the move, she's texted me about how she can't believe I would interfere without consulting with her and how upset she would be if I rented or sold her house without discussing it with her. Knowing what we're doing next month, these messages KILL me.

Has anyone been in this thankless and awful situation? How did you navigate it and what did you share (or not share) with your parent?

AmieRae25

I don’t have any words of wisdom yet but am in a similar position as POA living states away. It’s so hard not to feel like the villain in her story. But I tell myself it’s like being a parent. Sometimes we have to do what’s best even if they hate it. You are making the best choices you can for her to keep her safe. ❤️