Moving Mom

RickinotRicky

Hello all. We are in the process of moving my mom in with my niece; however she doesn't want to go because she can't take her 2 cats and 3 dogs with her. The critters will be staying with my dad and will be cared for, but my mom has to move (and I would rather not go into the backstory of why she can't stay with my dad) but understandably she is refusing because of her pets. I need assistance on explaining why staying where she is is no longer an option, and why her pets can't come. We have already given her the reasons, but she isn't grasping them. Any thoughts are appreciated.

amynolla

She is probably never going to understand. How far is she into the disease? Maybe try a therapeutic fib, like you need to get her settled in first and then the pets can come?
She is going to be mad and unhappy with all involved. That is just something you will need to resign yourself to. It’s very hard, I know.

sandwichone123

You might say the pets have all come down with something and have to go to the vet for a few days/weeks until they get better.

H1235

Welcome. One of the most important rules- never try to reason with a person with dementia. Their ability to understand reason is gone. Trying to convince her will just upset her and probably you as well. A fib of some sort is probably the best way to go. If you are lucky she will buy into it and you will just need to remind her over and over. It’s also possible that as time passes she forgets about them. I know that a fib seems wrong, but if it keeps her from getting angry and upset in my opinion it’s worth it. I hope you can find a solution that works.