After Years of Caregiving, Uncle w/Dementia Needs Remote Support - Affordable Tech/Dev Suggestions

dipeshvora

I'm at a major crossroads and feeling a huge mix of relief, guilt, and stress. I'm hoping for some practical advice, especially from those who've managed long-distance care for someone with dementia.

For the past few years, my life has been completely dedicated to caring for my uncle. He got divorced about 10 years ago and has been living alone, but last year, he was diagnosed with dementia. It's been incredibly challenging juggling his care needs, full-time university studies, and a part-time job to keep us afloat. Honestly, there were days I didn't think I'd make it.

The good news is, I finally graduated and landed a great full-time job! The bad news is that it requires me to move several states away, starting next month.

Here's the tough part: My parents are not an option. They live in our ancestral village, farming, and have a long-standing, unresolved land dispute with my uncle, which means they absolutely refuse to help or even interact with him. So, it's just me.

I feel terrible leaving him. He needs constant reminders, checks, and support, and I desperately need an affordable way to ensure his safety and well-being from a distance. I can't afford a full-time professional caregiver, and I'm worried about him being alone.

My question is: What are the most affordable, yet effective, technology, devices, or services that can help me manage his care remotely?

dipeshvora

I need budget-friendly options because I'm just starting out and my savings are depleted from his care. Any advice, links, or personal experiences would be a lifesaver right now. Thank you in advance.

towhee

Welcome to the discussion boards. This particular section does not get much traffic. I suggest that you also post on the "Caring for a Parent" board. What kind of "infrastructure" does your uncle have for devices?

H1235

Welcome. In my opinion, from the time of diagnosis to the time someone is no longer safe to live alone is very very short. As you know caring for someone while living in the same society is overwhelming, doing that from out of state is going to be almost impossible (unless you have unlimited funds to cover in home care). Using technology to help him from a distance is just a band-aide on a gaping wound. I will attach a staging tool that may be helpful. Notice there is an age equivalence at each stage and nursing care needs. Do you have a durable power of attorney? This is very very important! If you don’t see a lawyer now. It doesn’t seem to me that you should be covering the costs of his care. Have you considered Medicaid. I will attach a link that may be helpful. My suggestion would be to move him to a facility where you will be moving. Even moving him to a facility in your current state would be better for him and easier for you than keeping him in his home. You might try contacting your local commission on aging for help and advice.

DBAT.pdf

https://www.medicaidplanningassistance.org/state-specific-medicaid-eligibility/

dipeshvora

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/255621#Comment_255621

Okay, will do so, thank you for your advice.

dipeshvora

I'm considering a similar solution; other relatives said the same thing. So thank you for your advice… needed this clarity man.

dipeshvora

For people waiting for the update, I've moved my uncle to a memory care facility, and other relatives have agreed to cover the cost, thankfully (I know it sounds mean, but) I can use my savings ahead for my future.

Also, notably I've set-up a smartlink smartwatch device which will help all family members, including me to track his whereabouts whenever we want to. We taught him how to use the watch and stay connected on smartphones. If you're curious, then the watch is from mySeniorCareHub!

Other than the competitors, they do have affordable and better options with smartwatch & locket