Double Trouble - New to the group

LLeeNE

I moved back to NE from Florida almost 3 years ago. I knew before I moved to Florida that my mom’s memory was getting increasingly worse. Once I moved back, I realized just how bad it had become in that short amount of time. We were able to get her to a neuropsychologist and have her tested. She has Alzheimer’s. Unfortunately, my dad also had dementia, just didn’t know what kind because it had been so many years since he was tested. He recently got tested and I just found out October 8th that he, too, has Alzheimer’s. His Dr actually made home mentally incompetent to make any financial or medical decisions. So now, I am the only legal adult in the home. I live with my parents in their basement. I’ve basically turned it into my own apartment. I am a RN and have been for almost 30 years. I’ve worked in many different fields, including hospice. I do have an older brother, but he lives in Canada. Ever since my dad’s diagnosis I have become very overwhelmed and very depressed. They have now both been given a very long terminal diagnosis. I am going to try my best to keep them both at home with me. My mom’s mentality is about that of a 4 year old and my dad is maybe 8-12 years old. I’m at a loss. I really don’t know anyone who has both parents diagnosed with this horrible disease. It’s bad enough with one, but both is seemingly impossible. Not sure what to do.

towhee

Hi and welcome although sorry for the reason you are here. Two at once is difficult indeed. Do you have DPOA for both parents? Are you still working?

Just take it one step at a time. You can reach out to the Alzheimers Association Helpline if necessary 800-272-3900 and keep reaching out here. Blessings and hugs.

SDianeL

Welcome. So sorry about your parents. Read the book “The 36 Hour Day” and search online for dementia caregiving videos by Tam Cummings and Teepa Snow. Search online for a chart that lists the behaviors of the 7 stages of dementia. That will give you a general idea of what stage each of your parents is in. Many caregivers with one parent are not able to care for their LO alone as they progress. I can’t imagine caring for 2 parents with dementia. I think you will need help sooner than later. That help can be in home hired caregivers or a memory care facility. I would meet with an elder care attorney asap to discuss options for their long term care and make a plan and a Plan B. Come here often for info and support. Hugs. 💜

LLeeNE

Thank you both so much for the support and info. I am the HPOA & FPOA for both of my parents. I’m literally just waiting until one of them qualifies for hospice so I can get help. There are a lot of services they can provide. I’m sure my mom will qualify first. I hired Safe at Home for my mom because she refuses to let us help her take a shower. She insists she ‘just took one’ even though it’s been 2-3 weeks.

It’s definitely a challenge and this is just the beginning. Working in hospice, I know what is coming. It’s so hard knowing they are both terminal at this point. Lots of prayers going on right now. 🥺. I had to stop working about a year ago do to their decline. Neither are able to cook or drive anymore.