Need Advice

fierodaughter

Hello,

My dad is being discharged from a hospital soon after treatment for a blood clot and heart failure. We aren't sure what is primary right now, the heart disease or the memory loss, but he's very immobile so we're afraid he'll get a clot again. He lives with my mother and my disabled sister (my mom has her hands very full). Looking for advice from anyone who's been in a similar situation. My mom doesn't want him to go to a nursing home, because he will be sad and that will probably hasten his demise. Maybe a rehab facility would be acceptable to my mom- but the hospital says insurance won't cover rehab. It just feels like she won't be able to handle the level of care and attention he needs now and we are both going to go crazy (I work full time and have a young child so neither one of us can devote ourselves to round the clock care). What does it actually cost to hire someone to come on a daily basis? It looks like we can't get Medicaid for my dad because he has a decent pension and lives in IL.

We are just ordinary people, not totally broke but most savings are in our homes (my parents and mine). What should we consider doing here? I know there are certain financial matters we should have planned for years ago but is there any hope to get through this without everyone going bankrupt? We had dreams of converting my parents home into a place my disabled sister could still live in once they were gone, so just draining the home equity to pay out of pocket would end that idea. What should we be asking for from social workers in terms of help? So far just generally telling the hospital social worker that we need help has resulted in a shoulder shrug: "what do you want me to do about it?"

Last but not least I see there are so many similar conversations on here but it's hard to wade through them all and think of how they each apply to this situation, but if you can point me in the right direction that would help. Thank you!!!!

H1235

Medicaid eligibility is complicated. With your mom still alive and a disabled sister ( I think there may be special exceptions and provisions for her) it’s even more complicated. I would suggest you see an elder law attorney. In home care is going to be very expensive. As I’m sure you realize you need to worry about your mom’s health as well. Some people are just so devoted to their loved ones they refuse to acknowledge their limitations. You may need to step in and have a heart to heart with her. I will attach some information on Medicaid by state. I would recommend you come up with questions for a lawyer after reading it through.

https://www.medicaidplanningassistance.org/medicaid-eligibility-income-chart/

Quilting brings calm

please talk to an elder care lawyer. The eligibility for Medicaid in a facility is different than living at home. In addition, your mom would be a community spouse ( anssuming they are married) able to keep the home, a car, and a certain amount of income and savings. If her income is too low, part of your dad’s pension would be directed to her- the rest towards his stay in a facility.