Caregiver burnout

Dennokee

hi it’s been a minute. I am voice texting this because I’m too exhausted to type it. Things have been pretty much status quo. I mean it’s still for me really hard to rationalize what’s happening. Some days for a bit she’ll seem quite OK and in those moments, I just see her as my old stubborn mother and then if something will happen where she’s exhausted or she zones out.
I get her to watch some TV with me or a movie the like I don’t like movies and then in the evening yeah that’ll be good. I jobs. I have no support and I am trying to meet her in her world not trying to drag her into my world.
I called and made an appointment with the geriatrician we can’t see us until the end of February 2027. We are watching TV in my place tonight and I could see her just is owning out like not even focusing on the TV and then started talking about all of these papers she has on her kitchen table. People she’s going to sue. She’s going to write a book just endless piles. I had to work last night, but I made dinner on Saturday and we watched partially a movie and I sit with her in the evenings for a few hours in my place and when I’m off I’ll bring a shopping. I mean it’s just exhausting and I know that easier. wondering how I’m going to be able to cope. I know there is agencies around here to do this or help me with it, but she’s in the phase of being still independent and not even aware that she has memory issues anyway. I just came here to get it out. I had a whole weekend off only worked one night at my second job and I feel like I’ve been bulldozer. I am trying to get her to do but she goes to the shops I online and the restaurant is 500 feet away from us and I explain where to it because I had already gotten into my house and she could not rationalize where it was even when I explained it was just around the corner and down the alleyway literally a two minute walk. Then I discovered last week that she fell going to the chin on a never told me until two days later actually until I saw the bruise. She but she’s OK. I told her the importance of actually telling me, but I doubt she will.

I am sorry about the rambling. I guess I just don’t know where to turn and I don’t know how to continue with this. I am at my wits end. constantly trying to keep up a good façade. We also have other shit going on with the she is completely oblivious I need her to documents, which is another issue. Well, thank you for letting me vent. That’s all I’ve got for now. I guess I just had to get it out somewhere as usual. I’m sure experience my brother or or relatives seems to just disappear into the woodwork when this comes around and no support whatsoever all right thank you buddy. Have a great night and keep find the good fight. Lots of love. D

Maru

You are working 2 jobs plus spend time with your mother who is acting like she has some kind of dementia…that's a lot. It is admirable that you are willing to spend your evenings with her. I watch a lot of boring TV with my DH with ALZ but I occupy my mind with my knitting. I have thought about listening to books online with my ear buds, but so far have not needed to do that. That is something you could think about doing if what your mom is watching is too boring. As to her going through her documents…not something I would recommend. She may not be able to distinguish what is important and what should be shredded. If the stack is bothering you (apparently not her) ask her if you can take the docs and put them in a file box.

A red flag went up when you mentioned online shopping. Do you have her POA and MPOA? If you can…get her to use a credit card with a low limit and take away all her other credit cards. PWD have been know to run up many thousands of dollar shopping on line.

You are a good son. I am sure that in earlier days, your mother must have realized this. Don't give up. Praying for you this morning.

Dennokee

Thank you. 🙏

AlzWife2023

Hi Dennokee, I haven't read any of your other post, just here to say it sounds rough and I feel for you. I am four years at ahome with my DH. You are in the right place here—we all know the struggle. Is your mother alone during the day? She may not be safe alone anymore