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My Mental Health

Istoppedescaping
Istoppedescaping Member Posts: 82
Seventh Anniversary 25 Care Reactions 10 Comments 5 Likes
Member

Hello, my mom is in the final stages of Alzheimer's. I still go see her at the NH and it still is so painful to see such a vibrant woman deteriorate for the past 7 years. I don't know if she knows who I am or who she is at times I say to my self "why go"?

It's good when I see her and she is still in bed, her hair is not fixed up, is thirsty, etc. Because then I can help her again like I used to. I know and socialize with a few other patients, Nurses, CNAs and staff.

When I leave, I go straight to Church. I pray for her, the NH, me and the world. However their are some weeks where I just can't get myself to see her. I suffer all week with guilt and depression. This is just the way it is for me. Recently I started DBT and it really is helping me cope with my emotions. I hope everyone has a blessed day and thank you Alzconnect and all the people here. I would truly be lost if I did not join Alzconnect a suggestion from the Alzheimer's association. 🫶

Comments

  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 4,348
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Insightfuls Reactions 500 Likes
    Member

    Balancing your emotional needs in late-stage dementia care is not easy. Kudos to you for getting help to navigate this difficult situation. DBT has been really helpful for a couple of friends when other approaches didn't "stick" for them.

    HB

  • Alice94
    Alice94 Member Posts: 1
    Seventh Anniversary First Comment
    Member

    I am so sorry. My mom's Alzheimer's nearly drove me into alcoholism. It tore me apart. She had a PhD in biochemistry and was a professor at MIT. She died on January 6th of this year. She would have been 90 on January 31st. You are going through hell. Please be kind to yourself. Call the Alzheimer's helpline, they understand and you can just break down and let your feelings out. I am grieving like I never thought I would. I thought I'd feel relieved, I don't. I miss her very day even though she hasn't recognized me in years. Again, I am so sorry for your pain.

  • Istoppedescaping
    Istoppedescaping Member Posts: 82
    Seventh Anniversary 25 Care Reactions 10 Comments 5 Likes
    Member

    Hello, you are the second person who has said the pain of your mom passing is worse now than the pain of her illness. I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you so much for your comment. May God bless you with your grieving!

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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