Mother gave my brother and sister-in-law POA and all legal powers but they don’t want to do anything

Hello all- I am new to this community. My mother is in the process of her diagnosis and it has been hell. She has been diagnosed with “Mild Cognitive Impairment” but the MRI shows severe damages from silent strokes. She failed her driver license exam because of 4 critical driving errors (1 CDE disqualifies you). She has told none that she has failed. We learned it through the car insurance because my dad removed himself as a driver (he surrendered his DL) due to his medical situation.

I have had to watch her fight everyone along the way and alienate me completely. She, irrationally blames me for all of it (which is a symptom of her disease) and has convinced my brother and sister-in-law that this is all my doing: loss of driver license and the “bad” MRI. She missed her PET scan w/contrast and I tracked her wandering around town. She can’t remember the name of the tests that she has to do and can’t organize doctor appointments. And the rage is completely directed to me! It is absolutely frightening how she has schemed and manipulated people that don’t see her everyday into believing her narrative. I work from home and live next door to her and have had to suffer the knowledge of her decline.

I am currently taking care of my father (her husband) because she was mistreating him and APS was called in to assist the situation. She did it twice, the second time was in the hospital and the staff had to escort her out of the hospital at 3am because she would not stop badgering him and threatening to harm him if he didn’t sign legal papers to “get rid of me” and prevent me from “taking care of him”. The whole situation is fraught legally and culminates into extreme emotions with my father, my mother and myself. For my health, I have completely disassociated myself from her. If she enters a room- I leave. Now, she is not allowed in my home because we have caught her sneaking in when I leave. She takes the opportunity to badger and threaten my father. My daughter heard him screaming for help and threatened to call the police if my mother wouldn’t leave immediately. She left begrudgingly and threatened my daughter. Now my daughters will not allow me to leave the house.

This is my question: my brother and sister-in-law do not want to accept the situation. I know I cannot care for her because I am taking care of my father (who is thriving under my close care) and she has signed papers that block me from interfering with her care. Do I just let it go and not tell my brother? Because, I know, my brother and sister-in-law have no desire to care for my mother- so who will be in charge? They are under the impression that she is able to take care of herself and all this stuff that is happening is my fault and for some nefarious reason.

My lawyer says that I am free and clear. But, my father worries about her constantly and has made me promise to step in when she needs help. I DON’T WANT TO!!! And I just don’t think my husband and daughters will allow it because of all the trauma she has inflicted on us. I feel that every time my dad makes me promise- I am lying. How do I manage his care and still take care of myself?

Who is legally responsible for her? A year ago, I had POA but she removed me recently and replaced me with my brother and sister-in-law. I am terrified that I will have the burden of taking care of her without legal documents supporting that burden.

She still thinks she is perfectly able to drive and take care of herself. She refuses to believe the diagnosis (anosognosia). And when she is “sundowning”, she likes to badger my father and me. My father vacillates between guilt and anger over my mom.

Thank you for any advice in advance.