Need to Move Mom from AL to MC

sknats · March 28

I moved Mom into AL in January after MUCH convincing and lies that it would only be for a few weeks. She went downhill when she arrived, had behavioral issues and was placed on an involuntary psych hold due to comments and behaviors she was exhibiting. Her medications were adjusted and she is now settling in, but due to these behaviors, she is being kicked out of her facility.

Thankfully, I found a MC facility I think will be a good fit for her (fingers crossed). But she has finally settled in and now I have to move her! I am struggling on how to do this…Do I take her myself? Do I request medical transport? What excuse do I give her as at times she is still higher functioning but in denial of her dementia? I am at a loss and any advice would really be appreciated!

M1 · March 28

Hi sknats. This is unfortunately a pretty common story, many people who are put in AL need MC from the getgo. She may surprise you and do better with the correct level of support.

I had to move my partner from one MC facility to another about a year ago. I had her room set up ahead of time at the new place and had friends take her—as if going out to lunch—while I finished up moving the last few items out of the old place, and did the paperwork.

I wouldn't try to give her an excuse, I would just do it, let the staff take over once you get her there, and leave fairly promptly to let her get settled in. You may want to not visit for a week or two after the move, follow the staff's cues on this. My partner has absolutely no memory of the previous facility and never questioned it.

sknats · April 3

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/203720#Comment_203720

Thanks for the advice. The move was yesterday, and knowing my mom, I gave her an excuse that they were remodeling her room. It worked till we got there and then she was very agitated. I stayed for awhile and then unfortunately, she needed to be taken to the hospital since she was trying to break a window to get out.

Thankfully she has pulled a 180 and is doing well this morning. I can only hope this assimilation goes better than the one to assisted living, which took ~2 months.

I am going to take your advice and not visit for ~2 weeks. It's hard because I live out of state, but I will fly home and return in a few weeks. In the meantime, I will set up some calls with her and the facility is more than willing to proactively keep me in the loop on how she is doing.

Thank you again for your response!

Need to Move Mom from AL to MC

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