Lonely but longing to be alone…

Hi Annie,

I know exactly how you feel. Calling friends and getting out helps, but it is still a lonely and exhausting. If you haven't already, consider getting counseling as it will help. Also, do not hesitate if you need to take antidepressants. They help also.

You have described my life and my feelings perfectly. I'm so sorry you, too, are experiencing all this.

I loved to travel and those days are over. What I find works is to find intellectual and enjoyable adventures close to home. I am chair of a local political ward committee, volunteer on campaigns and find joy in gardening, birdwatching and simply walking. I schedule regular outings with friends. I also enjoy cooking and entertain our friends. Muppets husband has a fatal brain disease and all our friends know it, but life goes on,

@AnnieTB You just described my life, except our marriage was a good one.

@AnnieTB Hugs to you. As you can see, you voiced something that many feel. Honestly, I am too dang exhausted most days to feel lonely. I've always been more of an introvert which I learned is someone who recharges with alone-time, rather than extroverts who re-charge by connecting with others (often the more the merrier). So I am naturally very happy when by myself doing the things I love.

Dementia caregiving is a totally different twilight zone as we know. Like the title of this thread, I do think part of me is longing to be alone, but not exactly. Not really, not yet. I miss him already yes, but once he is truly gone — I know I will miss him so.

Thank you for posting this. Beachfan's response helped me a lot, as it is clear there is life after dementia if we can only survive our spouse's disease. And it doesn't mean we will miss or love them less. We just keep going, and growing.

There's nothing ambiguous about the grief itself. It's ambiguous because it's not recognized (especially by others) and acknowledged. No rituals, no official mourning, this is what adds to the difficulty, IMHO.

As so many have said, this is something I think we all go through. With my DH progressing, I long for the days of my companion, my best friend, my confidante, the person I wanted to talk to about everything. It truly is a very lonely feeling. At this point, the few minutes I get alone each day (not very many…) are a little bit of a break. But most of that alone time is spent reading this forum - and it's a huge help!

wow, I couldn’t say it any better. I feel the same way

Problem is, he thinks he's ok to be by himself.

You sound so much like me. I new to posting as well, as I’m just figuring out how this platform works. It feels weird to be lonely while constantly with him. I miss conversations with depth (which requires memory) and I miss his witt, the shared humor of thing (which also requires memory). I feel like a burden to family and friends by continuing to talk about my woes. I feel so alone! Trying to remain grateful but sometimes it’s hard.