How to encourage spouse to get memory test done

Rugcutter · August 2024

I am interested in recommendations on how to encourage my spouse to get medically tested for dementia. Friends and family say I should "trick" her into getting tested. I have no good ideas how to arrange this.
She insists there is nothing wrong with her despite not being able to recall personal information such as birthdate and place of birth.

charley0419 · August 2024

I would ask Dr if you can take test also or make like he’s giving you one. My wife till this day hates to go to Nurologist.

charley0419 · August 2024

tell insurance company making you both do

jfkoc · August 2024

The first part of the diagnosis it to rule out treatable causes. This part you can put off as a Medicare requirement.

From this point on it will be best not to discuss with your spose any problems you are seeing.

Rugcutter · August 2024

Thanks for the responses. Some good ideas. I should have added that she is outright resisting to go to a doctor and has not been to one in many years. She is in denial there is a problem and gets quickly irritated when me or family members suggest it. It has been suggested to have a doctor make a house call. I feel this could backfire as the doctor will be a stranger.

JDancer · August 2024

She probably has anasognosia, which seems like denial, but it's not. The PWD truly believes nothing's wrong with them. Pointing out the problems will most likely lead to arguments and serve no purpose.

Tell her her health insurance requires a doctor visit. Let the dr's office know the situation in advance. The doctor should do some testing to rule out treatable possibilities- infection, vitamin deficiencies, tumors, etc. Mention the appointment once and then just get her ready and go on the day of.

As her memory declines, everyone will be a stranger.

Good luck. Dementia sucks.

M1 · August 2024

welcome to the forum. Best bet as JDancer said is to tell her it’s a new Medicare requirement to be seen and evaluated and if you don’t do it you will be disenrolled. Fake a letter if you have to have some documentation. Then absolutely tell the doc your concerns ahead of time. That way they can at least do the blood work to rule out treatable causes. The odds favor Alzheimers or vascular or an overlap between the two. Not many options for treatment except to treat anxiety and delusions as they arise. The drug options for Alzheimers itself are still quite limited. Whether it’s worth further evaluation by a neurologist is a debatable point, but maybe you can at least get this far. If not, you’ll be waiting for a crisis. Do you hold power of attorney for her? Address that too as you’re likely to need it in the future.