Not taking it well...
There, is other difficulty I have to deal with, does not want to take shower, does not have any appetite, does not want to walk...he wants to sit all day and watch YouTube, and more.
Now I feel like a complainer but it somehow helps a little to find someone there with similar distress
Comments
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Welcome. I am sorry you are having to deal with this. It sounds like your husband my be further along than you realize. He needs a medical evaluation for dementia. You also need to get your legal affairs in order ASAP. You need durable POA and healthcare POA.
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You are describing moderate to late stage behaviors. If he hasn't been diagnosed, that needs to happen.
The obsession with sex is not uncommon. There are medications which may help to tamp that down.
HB1 -
My husband was diagnosed with Alzhemiers two years ago and his first symptoms were behavioral. He became obsessed with sex. He also became jealous and paranoid. Went they just kept increasing the meds to control his behavior, but eventually he became aggressive and I had to place him in MC. It was a heart wrenching decision, but it was the right decision. Does he have a Nuerologist?
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I understand you not wanting to sharing about your life, I am the same way but I have slowly opened up more on here and it has been helpful. between everyone here there is a lot of experience. Now I have sherd more about my life with the people here that I probably will never meet or don't know where they live or even most of their names then I have with friends or family. You can feel free to ask questions, add comments, or just vent.
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Hi Kachenka. My husband went through the sex obsession also. It was the absolute worse part of this journey so far, with not driving a car running a close second. His obsession lasted a few years and then stopped. He no longer mentions sex at all anymore. That was before I found this wonderful forum, so I never knew about medication to help with it. I hope you can get some meds to help with this because as you stated, it is a nightmare.
Please … never feel like a complainer on this forum. Sharing what you’re going through is exactly what this place is all about.
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Hi I too was and still am a very private person outside this forum. This is such a good platform to share, vent, even cry, I was nuts before I found this very knowledgeable and caring group. The symptoms you describe have been faced by us all at different stages and they are all horrible. I haven’t used extra drugs so far, my DH reacts so badly to most new meds but I continually look for calming and soothing ways to deal with his problems in a way that suits me which I think is important. Good luck keep venting, act on the advice that you like from this group, keep asking and importantly get him formally diagnosed and your financials into your control.
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Welcome Kachenka, glad you found us. Keep reading all you can . Take a deep breath …..exhale and know you are stronger than you think and will be able to tackle this one step at a time .
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Welcome. We have all been there. Learn all you can. Read the book "The 36 Hour Day" which really helped me after my DH's diagnosis. Also Tam Cummings videos online are good. Talk to his doctor about medications for the sex drive. It's common. A Geriatric Psychiatrist is the best doctor to help him and you. Get a referral if you can. I got my husband to shower with a tip from the book. I picked 2 days a week and told him those were "our shower days" — get his shower ready for him. He may have forgotten how to shower, afraid he'll fall or doesn't like the feel of the water. It worked for my husband. Watching TV is comforting as people with dementia have anxiety. Old movies, music, documentaries. Limit news watching or shows with too much action. Keep us posted. Come here often to get info & vent.
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Thank you soo much for your reply. We have appointment to see a specialist so I hope he will get some meds to help his obsession which is getting worst. I do come and read the posts but still not sharing much of my pain. I just feel like a complainer and should be happy my husband is here next to me….
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Thank you for the reply..eventually I will learn to reply :-) also. I am reading all of your stories and just cry. I learned to do the shower as you suggested and its working fine as long as I get in the tub and wash him ….he is sitting in the tub on seat and I have my bathing suit and it works. I then dry him, dress him and take care of everything. It takes almost half a day and I get exhausted. But thanking God each day I am strong enough to take care of him. Yah he is watching TV all day, doctors want him to walk but he refusers. His favorite TV shows is the 2nd world war and it makes me sick sometimes. It can run all day. However I try to get him on other shows. My daughter comes each week to tell him a story and we all enjoy this. Just like he used to told he stories. Then we watch cooking on you tube. But most of the time I cant leave DH home alone because he decided once to look for tools in garage and do some work outside. I am afraid he may do something again when home alone.
My son brings us frozen homemade dinners and that helps a lot also. I love to cook and bake but sometimes DH eats and sometimes he does not even cooking his favorite meals. Just no appetite.
Thank you!!
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Welcome. I am so sorry that you have to be here. This site will get you through this. Ask the doctor for meds to tamp down the hyper sexuality. This is common with certain types of Alzheimer's.
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If he's watching cable TV, you can put parental controls on the channels that you don't want playing in your home. I blocked a lot of content for dad as his disease progressed because he began to internalize what was on the screen as having happened to him— storms on TWC. news stories of war, mom's crime procedurals and historical documentaries. He couldn't tell the difference between what was on the screen and what was happening to him.
The garage should have a keyed lock on it to prevent him accessing it. Ditto the basement if there are mechanicals or similar there.
He may have reached a point where a day program might be a way to engage him and get you some much needed respite.
HB0
Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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