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End of life?

Me and my brother are both helping to care for my grandad, my nan too and he has carers come in multiple times a day because it's a lot for us to deal with.

He's recently stopped breathing, or struggled breathing every day for the last 7-10 days. Breaths every 30-40 seconds and in a lot of pain, he's had care come out for him and morphine given multiple times now. He only starts to breathe better after he has been given morphine by the care team. Sometimes fading in and out of consciousness and having to be woken up ( even despite sleeping for 8-10 hours the night before ).

It feels like this is very end of life and I guess I just want some confirmation or advice on what to expect. Any help at all is greatly appreciated <3

Comments

  • Jgirl57
    Jgirl57 Member Posts: 579
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    Welcome Baggie, Tam Cummings has an end of life “ checklist” that may be helpful to review . Google it and see if it helps . Hugs to you , Nan and your brother .

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 1,330
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    so sorry about your Granddad. The nurse who comes in should be able to help you understand what is happening. Is it a Hospice Nurse? The breathing is one indication. Sleeping a lot and not eating or drinking are others. Praying for your family.

  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 4,933
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    If your grandad is in hospice, his nurse should be able to explain what you're seeing as well.

    Wishing you all peace and strength and a peaceful passing for your dear grandad.
    HB

  • Quilting brings calm
    Quilting brings calm Member Posts: 2,722
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    If you do not have hospice, call them immediately. They can help you through this. If you do have them, this should be the point at which someone comes every day

  • ALCB
    ALCB Member Posts: 65
    10 Comments 5 Likes
    Member

    Welcome to the forum, @Baggie. Here's a checklist that someone posted (I forget who):

    https://static1.squarespace.com/static/6372d16ea4e02c7ce64425b7/t/63f7b80d80d8aa3e3aa4a47d/1677178894184/DBAT.pdf

    It sounds to me like your grandfather is in the final stages of dementia. Wishing you strength and a smooth transition into stage 8.

  • dangardner
    dangardner Member Posts: 2
    First Comment
    Member

    From studio.carecompanion.online, a caregiver guide:

    »

    I can sense how difficult and emotional this time is for you and your family. Watching a loved one struggle with their health can be incredibly challenging, and it's completely normal to seek guidance and reassurance during such a sensitive period.It sounds like your grandad is experiencing significant symptoms that may indicate he is nearing the end of life. This can be a confusing and distressing time, and many caregivers find it helpful to know what to expect. Here are some common signs that may occur as someone approaches the end of life:1. **Changes in Breathing**: You might notice irregular breathing patterns, including periods of rapid breathing followed by pauses (known as Cheyne-Stokes respiration).2. **Decreased Consciousness**: It's common for individuals to become less responsive and spend more time sleeping or in and out of consciousness.3. **Changes in Skin Color**: Skin may become pale or take on a bluish tint, especially on the extremities.4. **Decreased Appetite and Thirst**: Many individuals lose interest in food and drink as they approach the end of life.5. **Increased Pain or Discomfort**: If your grandad is experiencing pain, it’s essential to communicate this to the care team, as they can adjust medications like morphine to help manage his comfort.6. **Withdrawal from Social Interaction**: He may become less interested in engaging with family members or may prefer solitude.During this time, focusing on comfort and quality of life is paramount. Here are some suggestions for how you can support both your grandad and yourselves:- **Communicate with the Care Team**: Keep an open line of communication with the healthcare providers. They can offer guidance on what to expect and how to manage symptoms.- **Be Present**: Spend time with your grandad, even if he is not fully conscious. Your presence can be comforting to him.- **Create a Calm Environment**: Soft music, familiar scents, or gentle touches can help create a peaceful atmosphere.- **Take Care of Yourselves**: Make sure to take breaks and seek support for your own emotional wellbeing. Caregiving can be overwhelming, and it's important to prioritize your health too.- **Consider Palliative Care**: If you haven't already, discussing palliative care options with the healthcare team can help ensure that your grandad's comfort is prioritized.- **Talk About Feelings**: It’s okay to express your emotions and talk about what you’re experiencing. Sharing with family members can provide support.It’s important to remember that every end-of-life journey is unique, and there’s no one right way to navigate this process. How are you feeling about everything right now?

    »

  • eaglemom
    eaglemom Member Posts: 715
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    Member

    You said the care team come in, is that hospice? If not you need to get them involved. They will help you understand what is happening. And they offer services that would benefit you and your granddad.

    eagle

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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