CCRC forcing LO move from independent to MC

I would move her if they are concerned about safety. MC caregivers are better trained to care for dementia patients. Do they have an opening at the same facility? If not when will they? Will they wait until then? No need to tell your LO. She can no longer reason so she won’t understand. Just take her to lunch and have them move her things. Yes she may be upset but her safety is the most important thing. Hopefully she will settle in quickly. 💜

Be sad she has dementia- a progressive disease , but grateful she can stay in the same location and get the right level care- which was included in her purchase decision .

Financially ind units are CCRC entry slots , yours isn't the only family that doesn't want to see their LO in MC (who would?)- having folks who need more care in an "independent home" - like your LO does [24 hour assist] - doesn't "show well" to future residents. That doesn't mean MC isn't needed for your LO now.

Having her in a section where she can walk around , meet new folks and have trained MC staff is an upgrade of care.

Don't refer back to your original convo that she doesn't "have" to move or apologize. She may have forgotten the convo or just cling to the emotion- change= bad since she probably lacks the ability to evaluate her needs or understand the disease .

Deciding how another person lives is a big decision , we all want to get their approval when we make it but involving or informing them about the decision making process isn't wise with dementia.

My mom is in a CCRC, and she had a beautiful apartment she loved. She moved there 8 years ago, and was diagnosed with dementia 2 years ago. As her dementia progressed, we added caregivers, eventually ending up with 3 shifts of caregivers for 24 hour coverage. Once she reached stage 5, her CCRC encouraged us to move her to their memory care. We waited and added caregivers. In a matter of months, she was showing some early stage 6 symptoms, and we moved her to memory care this past August.

We told her "the doctor wants you to stay here a few weeks for serious physical therapy". She loves doing physical therapy and "serious" is a word she likes a lot and interprets to mean important and better. The first 2 weeks were difficult, however, any move is difficult, even for people who don't have dementia. Four weeks in, I could tell she was physically and cognitively better - not enough to leave MC - but because she is a natural extrovert and the type of person who willingly likes to try new things, so the activities and social stimulation have been very beneficial for her.

When she had the 24 hour caregivers, her only social interaction was from the caregivers or her 3 children. Some of the caregivers were better than others at engaging with her. Her friends had either died off or avoided her due to dementia. She now has friends in MC, and I've seen how they wave her over to their table when I walk her into the dining room.

At my most recent visit, she was giving me a tour of the facility. (Her short term memory is so short she doesn't remember I've been there many times, so she likes to take me on a tour each time.) We walked past a corner where musical instruments were stored. She pointed to them and said "We played those, and I had the most fun - I can't wait until we do that again." I was pleasantly stunned because never in my life has my mother ever shown any interest in playing music. Now she's telling me she had so much fun she wants to do it again 😀

My point in sharing this is to say that a move to MC doesn't have to be a terrible thing. It depends on the person, and it depends on the MC facility. Some will be a better fit than others.