Worn out and stressed out

Hello all. I’m currently dealing with an 87 year old father with dementia. He has fallen at home about 15 times this year, and ended up breaking his hip in July. I moved him into assisted living as I didn’t feel he was safe to be alone at home. He was a smoker and the last time I was there I watched him not pay attention to his cigarette and burn a hole in his pants. So not only would I have to worry about him falling, I’d have to worry about him burning the house down. He also wasn’t eating. He then fell and dislocated the repaired hip in September and had to have it put back in place. The Dr said if he falls and hurts the same hip one more time he will likely never walk again.

He’s very nice to everyone else, but I seem to be his favorite target and he’s been super mean to me. In the past seven years we’ve lost my mom and both my brothers so I’m the only child left. He’s angry with me because I won’t let him go home. He has called me three times today alone to tell me I’m a liar and that I’ve fed the drs lies and that he’s never fallen at home. I have literally had to pick him up off the floor. But he still says I’m a liar. It’s to the point that I don’t even want to go visit him because it’s him yelling at me the entire time. He also accuses me of not doing anything to help him. Even though I set up his apartment to make it comfortable for him, and I give up my vacation days to take him to drs appointments. I feel like when I vent to my friends they think I’m whiny. But this is just a LOT to deal with. It helps to know I’m not alone, though I’d never wish this on anyone