Just need to talk to my friends (221)

The coloring book sounds like a good idea. I'm already thinking of creative ways to use the squares to complete the drawings. Like, the tree could be uprooted and lying on the square, which could be a barn or whatever. Or the square could be a storm drain, and the tree seen only as exposed roots and a foot of the trunk.

Had a nice day today. DS and I went to church, then to lunch with my niece. When I came home, the man across the street brought one of his grandsons to meet me. Cute little guy, about 5 years old. He may be a great-grand; the other grandson I've met is six feet plus and works as a firefighter.

Just finished a brief rain, with more predicted. Temperature dropped from100 to 75 in a few minutes when the rain came in. Yay!

Iris -Thank you! I tried to make it inviting. Dementia is scary enough all by itself, I don't want to scare anyone. I want that blog to be a helpful resource.

Ron - Wow! Two fish at once. That's a great photo. What kind of fish is that (the one by the fishing rod)?

Judith - I felt like my artistic coloring skills were fine until about third grade. Then I sort of dropped off. Maybe I'd be good at abstract art? 😄 Or, maybe I could just invent a color like "Klein Blue" and paint an entire canvas with it, like he did. I do think Klein Blue is a very pretty color.

I like the idea of your coloring book.

Lorita - I don't know who Scarlet is (my apologies).

My friend got here today. Since I've done that drive so many times, I gave her a list of good rest stops, tasty food places, and cheap(er) gas stops. She hit a couple of them, which helped a bit. We hung out tonight and just caught up a bit, solved the world's problems, and stuff like that.

I bet we have sushi tomorrow (her favorite food). 🙂

Other than sushi and working out, I haven't made any plans for the week. We'll see what my friend wants to do.

Good morning, all. Typical summer weather here which is to say, "a good 10F than it has been". It's a mostly quiet week, except for a trip downtown to see a heart surgeon for DH. There's no urgency as DH seems to be doing well, but this specialist runs a program for those with bicuspid aortic valves and co-occurring aortic aneurisms. We'll have a late lunch or happy hour after before catching the train home.

Gothic G— Congrats on the completion of the blog. It's a really tribute to the connection between Peggy and those who were there for her through it all.

I imagine the summers in the PNW are somewhat like those in Maine— somewhat fleeting compared to what the more southern parts of the country endure.

BTW, I read that OPI is re-releasing a few of their iconic gothy colors from the vault this year including Lincoln Park After Midnight and Vampire State Building.

Iris— Shadow's got a new girlfriend? Wow, he moved on fast.

I love your painted rock although I admit the little green "bud" looks like a cartoon sperm to me with the dots for eyes. A lot of folks around here rock paint. Some folks even put inspirational sayings of them and leave them for others to find. The library near mom's place has a garden with loads of them.

Carl— The more you describe Cowboy that more I wonder if he's not got some sort of undiagnosed behavioral issue. He seems oblivious to the feelings of others or how others see him.

So much of art in the primary grades was about developing fine motor skills— coloring and modeling clay especially. It's changed since then. DS started school in a small indie day school that turned out to be a ghastly choice for him. His first-grade teacher lowered his grade in art because he strayed outside the lines. Mom, a K-12 certified art teacher who was living with us at the time, nearly exploded citing that DS's drawings showed 3-point perspective at six. I had to restrain her from going after the woman.

Lorita— Did Logan ship the ashes himself or did the funeral home? UPS, last I heard, doesn't accept cremated remains unless they're directly shipped from a licensed professional. I know when my bestie's dad died, she insisted on flying to Florida to bring them home with her ahead of his funeral and burial. I do hope the package shows up soon. Do you have a tracking number?

Eaglemom— You're brave taking on the care of large animals. I've never pet sat anything larger that a cat. Of course, if I was caring for a cat and it didn't respond to its name or make eye contact that would be par for the course. DS and I used to cat sit for his old scoutmaster's 3 cats. I was told there were 3 and to always fill 3 bowls of water, 3 of kibble and 3 plates of wet food. The 2 black cats would greet me at the door; to this day I have never seen the tortie girl. She'd hang with DS but not with me.

How are you getting along with the eye drops?

Ron— You look so rested and happy in that picture. The lake cabin has done you a world of good. Are the others enjoying themselves as well?

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Mom dropped a bomb on me Friday when I dropped some groceries off. I've noticed that despite her stable vision tests and imaging, her functional vision in the wild is worsening. Sometimes she'll be wearing pants that are badly faded or have pulls from the cat that she'd wear for puttering in her garden or put together ensembles that really don't coordinate in any way in terms of color. When I drove past her walking in her neighborhood, I slowed down to wave but she didn't recognize me or my car. And she admitted she's having trouble cooking. She admitted to needing a magnifying glass to read the controls for her range and microwave.

She thinks maybe it's time to move to a more supported living situation. I've scheduled a tour at a Quaker Community this afternoon so we can see what that looks like. There's another one I'd also like her to check out that is run by a town Community Welfare Council that has a similar vibe. In her mind, all facilities will be like where dad was (a strictly MC facility where most were stage 6-ish).

While I think this could be great for her, I am really not looking forward to the logistics of yet another move. With her seemingly more stable than I thought and DS ready to start his own path forward, I was hoping to catch my breath. The universe is laughing at me.

I hope all have a nice day.
HB

Carl…I applaud your thinking. Anyone else have some drawing outside the box ideas to share.

Good afternoon all.

Ron you are the man, excuse me, the Fisher Man. Two at once is fun times I'd imagine. You look the picture of relaxed - which is exactly what you've needed. I'm glad you've had such a good family time.

Iris I like your painted rock. Occasionally people will used to leave them along the walkways, etc. Its a great fun hobby to have.

HB your cup just keeps getting fuller and fuller. I don't see how you keep up with everything. You must have quite the calendar which is full of everyone's various schedules. I'm afraid your right, it might be time for your mom to move. I don't envy you one bit, I'm glad you already know of some acceptable options.

Lorita its always something, isn't it? Fingers crossed the car gets fixed sooner rather than later.

The saga of the eyes and this ridiculous every 2 hr schedule continues. It feels like I've been doing this forever, this is the beginning of week 3. Ugh. This morning my eyes hurt over all. Even the water from the shower was uncomfortable on my face. I did a warm compress on my eyes for 20 minutes then started the drops. It's just limiting and inconvenient, but I don't have any tears yet. I'll give it a few more days and may call to discuss this with them.

If you aren't in TX be happy. We are in an Extreme Heat Warning, Air Quality Warning and Heat Advisory Warning! The temp is 108 outside, how crazy is that? I think the index is 113 but I'm not sure. This is the weather we're to have all week, really the next 10 days. There goes all the flowers and lawns. I don't know how people can work in these conditions. I'm so thankful for my house, air conditioning and being able to afford said air conditioning.

Time for eye drops. Let's be careful everyone.

Good night.

Iris, I love Dr. Seth Capehart's videos. Three other medical videos I watch are "Doctors of Ojais," "Doctor Alex," and "Dr. Vonda Wright."

Good afternoon.

Well, Lorita, horses do better in the mud than any car or pickup 🐴 If I lived where you do, I'd be tempted to swap the PU and the car for a Toyota Tacoma and have it serviced by an independent mechanic who is not required to use only factory parts. But there are other good choices.

Ron, your trip sounds like heaven. An annual event would be great! I can just see your grandson, 50 years from now, fishing with his son and grandson.

HB, that place you describe sounds wonderful. Use plenty of lamps and the room won't be dark.

As usual, we're about ten degrees cooler than you folks in Texas and Oklahoma. We're having highs around 98 and lows around 75, normal for mid August.

Had my annual followup with the dermatologist today, everything is fine. He praised my broadbrimmed hat and said keep on as I'm doing. "Come back in a year, that will be $40 please."

I'm still arguing with the insurance company about my fancy roof, that they want to replace with contractor grade despite my replacement cost policy. In other words, situation normal when dealing with insurance. I don't have leaks, so I'm not in a rush and they won't be able to wait me out to save money. 😊

Have a good evening, and I'll talk to you later.

Good morning

Ron

Good morning. The weather is supposed to be very nice today which is great. The rest of the week will be rain on and off.

Lorita— Ours was a '95 4-door Cherokee workhorse. It was my mom-car replacing the worst vehicle I ever drove, and for context, I drove mom's Ford Pinto and owned an intro-year Pontiac Fiero— both routinely make the 10 list for terrible cars. DH picked it out without me when DS was tiny, and a flood destroyed my beloved Civic Si. I traded it before the year was out. I handed over the car for DS to drive when he went to college, and he was a graduate before I called time-of-death. DS has never forgiven me.

I agree with Carl, an independent garage is great for things not covered by warranty. We tend to drive cars indefinitely, so a good one is critical. I wonder if you might find what we'd call a shade-tree mechanic where you live. Sometimes you can find really talented folks working independently as a side hustle.

I don't know if A Place for Mom is a franchise or not, but my experience with them was terrible. This area is really well served by facilities— we have all kinds of religiously affiliated, corporates, a state VA home, a few that are part of hospital systems, and even one run by the town's Welfare Council. The best places here in terms of quality-of-care don't need APFM to fill their beds which means you miss out on some nice places. Facilities pay a fee of about 1-month's rent for each contract the sign via APFM. But the worst is that once they have your contact information, you'll get contacted randomly by marketing people. I had one call me a week after dad died (18-months after I signed up), with mom in the car. It took days to convince her I wasn't trying to re-home her. YMMV.

Carl— Congrats of the skin check. Hats are important in the sun. I always wear one; in reality it's to keep my hair color which lightens with exposure. Along with sunscreen, it is good for the skin. LOL, twice last week a younger cashier neglected to give me my damned senior discount.

Reliability in rugged terrain. Yes, to a Toyota. This story is an interesting take on Toyota's reputation for getting you where you need to go in rough conditions.

https://www.airuniversity.af.edu/Wild-Blue-Yonder/Articles/Article-Display/Article/3600155/toyotas-and-terrorists-why-are-isiss-trucks-better-than-ours-said-the-american/

Gothic G— I'm glad you're enjoying your friend's visit with a trifecta of food, games and a wee bit of gore. Those OPI colors are almost as good as their clever names are. I, myself, am partial to I'm Not Really a Waitress.

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Tour number two went well. She really liked some aspects of it. They have the so-called continuum-of-care. They have a small apartment complex across the street that is basically a fund-raiser. They offer a reasonably price unit in a pricy rental market but no services or contract for care. They have lovely IL cottages but they're at the bottom of a hill from their private clubhouse. She found these really appealing— gorgeously appointed and the club house and the restored Victorian not unlike the one she grew up in ticked all her boxes except the obvious. The cottages offer no more support, really, then she has where she lives now with a $200K buy-in plus rental and she can't climb the hill.

Their next level is a studio suite in personal care which is their AL unit. All meals and activities in one building. The units are better lit with overhead can lights, but they're partially below grade and only have 2 smallish windows and the one we were in overlooked a parking lot — eye level with tires. The dining area had windows and a view to a nice patio but all the other spaces within the middle with no windows and a serious basement vibe. The residents weren't as out-and-about and the ones who were were interacting with staff, not one another. Yesterday was Elvis Day so they had "Elvis Trivia" (2 residents who seemed confused playing with an aide) and Elvis snack (PBJ& banana sandwiches) Mom was dazzled by the stainless appliances and pretty new finishes, but I could not imagine today-her in that unit being friends with those ladies.

We discussed it after. Basically, the first place offered a level of service and a tribe who seemed more like her people, a daily meal with optional breakfast & supper, more physical space in the unit and walkable distances, aides available for additional care in 1/4-hour increments, transportation activities that were more interesting, open to the public and well-attended. It's got a very Quaker vibe which appeals to us both. I suspect I could prevail on them to add additional lighting if mom paid. A "supported IL" (cottage w/meals) is a $23K buy in and reasonable rent. The units overlook garden spaces and each other in front and are mostly woods in the back. They have a personal care level in the same building which was less new, but residents were well included in the 30-some person community. They have an excellent reputation.

The second didn't have enough care to justify a cottage and the personal care seemed "too much" for her needs now. The spaces are nicely and newly finished which appeals to mom. The prices are higher to get in but they do offer rehab and a SNF that accepts Medicaid. DH thinks I'm crazy to worry about Medicaid given her many chronic health conditions but there's a branch of her dad's family that makes it to 100 and beyond. I realize her docs can't give her a sell-by date, but none have ever spoken to her realistically about progression and prognosis. I suspect they've pegged her as someone who'd rather not discuss that and me as the devoted daughter as opposed to the pragmatic planner.

Both have financial criteria to meet. Both are about the same distance (<3.0 mi.) for me. Both have waiting lists that are hard to predict given how small the communities are. We've decided to apply to both and see if she's got the assets to qualify (I suspect she does) and get on the wait list which I could be a week or a year from now be around a year from now.

I've got to grab a shower. DH and I need to head downtown to see his cardiac surgeon. Tomorrow, if I have any say in the matter, I am staying home in my own house and cleaning.

Have a safe day out there,
HB

Lorita…
Yes, you can find a UPS package without a tracking number by using UPS My Choice to view deliveries tied to your address, checking for a physical InfoNotice left by a driver, or contacting customer service with shipment details like reference numbers, dates, and addresses.