Is Cousin Larry Taking Advantage?

I am a friend and part-time paid caregiver to 80 year old Betty, who is very newly diagnosed with early stage Alzheimer's, primarily manifesting now in short-term memory losses. Betty is financially secure, but has few family members; she's outlived those closest to her, yet there are a few extended family members, most of them living out of state.

One month ago, "Cousin Larry" (as I'll call him) showed up out of the blue, flying in from out of state. Betty told me that she knew his father very well, but she was never close with Larry growing up. Anyway, little by little I learned of some very concerning things about Larry. I hardly know where to begin, because when I WRITE this down or when I say it out loud, of course it sounds totally suspect. But Larry has this sweet southern drawl and charm and he paints all his actions as him being FAMILY and only interested in helping Betty in her time of need.

Still. Within 3 days of coming to stay with Betty, he had convinced her that she could not trust her long-time attorney, and that she needed to sign a new will, for her own protection. He said that her attorney was taking advantage of her. Just the other day I finally got a look at the new will. Very cannily, I saw that Larry had named me in the will with a very generous bequest, (clearly to ensure that I would not someday protest the new will) BUT with the bulk of her estate going to Larry.

But even before the discovery of that will, I learned that Larry had had himself named her Health Surrogate-Medical Power of Attorney, had himself named on her Living Will, and most outrageous of all, had Betty name him Beneficiary on all four accounts on her main banking account (CD, money market etc). The person she had previously named beneficiary, a long time ago when she was not so mentally challenged, was a younger person she's known for years and who she loves like a son.

When I talk to Betty about these things, she is alarmed and disturbed. "Why did I do that? Why did I sign that? That's not what I want." etc. Bless her heart. Because the Alzheimer's is primarily affecting her short-term memory, it is really hard to get to her to RETAIN the memory of the specific things Larry has done. Although she does, overall, now have a strong sense that Larry cannot be trusted.

In case you're wondering, yes, we have gone to see Betty's long-time attorney, and have begun the process of getting Larry's name off of everything. (Larry has gone back to his home state and ironically, is dealing with a sudden health crisis of his own. But he still called Betty. I only just now got her permission to block Larry from her cell phone.)

All of this to say—it has been enormously frustrating and scary watching this slick willie come in and do what he wants, clearly taking enormous advantage of sweet Betty. I kept thinking, "I'm not family. What can I do?" Because at first, I didn't know the specifics of what he was doing; I just saw the ascendency he had over her, and I worried about it. Little by little is how I learned of the new will, of the power of attorneys, and somehow to my mind, the most shameless thing of all, just getting her to name HIM, a man she barely knew, as the beneficiary of her impressive bank accounts.

I guess here is my question. Is there any way at all that I am misjudging Larry? I mean, could he honestly be thinking, "I will end up having to take care of Betty. I might as well be in a financial state where I can do this easily?" He is in his 70s himself, and has diabetes and newly diagnosed heart trouble, so I don't know how well he can take care of anybody…

Final note. We expect a call next week from Betty's lawyer to go in and sign all the new stuff, including a new/old will. By which I mean, Betty's will will largely reflect her original one made a few years ago. What makes me smile is that Betty put in a little bequest to me much smaller than the one Larry had her put in for me—and I love it. Because I think it would show to anybody that might question ME somehow, I am definitely not in this for the money. I'm just trying to make sure Betty's REAL wishes and desires are carried out.