Dealing with addiction

Cabbagefarmer

Hello all, I'm new to this community so I'm not sure on the etiquette but I desperately need help. I recently had to take on the caregiver role for my grandfather. It's mostly okay I'm learning to handle all kinds of things I never knew I could do but I am struggling to deal with his addictions. He drinks and smokes constantly. I haven't been letting him drink nearly as much as he wants and he gets so mad at me for it. If I say there's nothing here to drink he trys to walk off to go get beer. And even if I give him a little bit he's forgetting that he even had anything and fights me to try and get more and more. He's gotten into alcohol that wasn't put up and gotten absolutely trashed once because he just will not stop and wants more and more. I could barely handle him, so I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. And the smoking is crazy, he would literally smoke a whole pack in one sitting if were to let him. And he gets mad at me for limiting that. The maddest I have ever seen him in his life was because I wouldn't let him smoke for 6 hours before a scan he was supposed to get at the doctors. He yelled at me for almost 6 hours straight. I just have no idea how to handle his wants in a way that doesn't trigger him so intensely. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.


Oh and happy holidays everyone, sorry for the heavy topic on what's supposed to be a merry day.

SusanB-dil

Hi Cabbagefarmer - welcome to 'here', but sorry for the reason.

A lot of us on here are handling things we didn't know we could or would be. If your grandfather gets aggressive, you may have to call 9-1-1 and have him go to geriatric psych. Geri-psych can get him on meds and get him better adjusted.

At the very least, or to try first - if he isn't aggresive, you need to let his doc know about all this. Do you have DPOA and HIPAA accesses? Important. But even if you don't, you can still let his doctor know, and they just won't be able to reply back. If his doctor says he needs to come in, you can tell your grandfather it is for insurance purposes, or needs to be seen for any med refills, whatever will work. Also - best bet - try to record some of the behavior for the doctor (never to show to others, of course).