Meal Ideas

helpingdaughter26

Hi everyone! My mom previously was an adventurous eater. Lately, she has trouble with finding foods she likes to eat. Her tastes have changed and she tends to just eat "junk" (chocolate, pretzels, peanut butter crackers, ice cream). Even things she liked a week ago, she says she does not like them anymore. We're trying to figure out how to meal prep or make a "menu" to choose from. Does anyone have experience with this and has helpful tips? It's really hard to cook knowing that she might not even eat it. If she chooses not to eat it, she will end up eating ice cream for dinner (which hey, don't we all want to!)

Emily 123

Hi,

It's a frustrating time. Keep in mind that less choices make the PWD's life easier to navigate, so a menu might not work well due to the disease. Sounds like she might not recall that she's been offered a choice, or even want to eat what she chose earlier.

The disease will affect how she can perceive hunger, so she may not have much of an appetite. (The drop off in the amount of food that my mom wanted to eat at a meal was really startling to me.) Plus It's not unusual to see a preference for the sweet start to take over.

With my mom, how food was plated became important-she wanted very basic things, she didn't like them to touch on her plate. (Goodbye rice bowls and noodle dishes.) That may have been a callback to meals she ate when she was younger. I also think those things are harder to to eat with utensils, so that may have been related to the disease affecting her depth perception and coordination. I also found that she would stop eating if everyone was getting through their meals faster—like she didn't want us to see she was struggling. And she very much wanted small portions of each thing—a few bites only. She seemed overwhelmed by a 'normal' portion.

Like many of us, you may opt for less healthy calories rather than spend a lot of time trying to coax her into eating what she doesn't have an appetite for—no sense in making mealtimes stressful for either of you.

You'll have to work with what you've got—a mom with a diminished appetite who's going to gravitate toward sweeter things. Within her preferences there might be a few good choices that you can serve her frequently. See if it helps to opt for simple things and keep portions small, so that she feels like she can manage to eat a few bites of each thing. For us, butternut squash soup (with my mom's portion sweetened a little) worked well. Glazed carrots or sweet potatoes were sometimes a good choice. PB&J sometimes worked, or a grilled cheese sandwich. I'd cut up her sandwiches into 4-5 slices because finger foods seemed more appealing-or maybe it was the portion size thing again.

You can tweak available 'treats' to be a bit healthier. Smoothies are great, and you can sneak yogurt, OJ, fruits, or protein powder into them Try applesauce or other pureed fruit and serve it with a low-sugar cookie or something like graham crackers. I found some low-fat oatmeal cookies that my mom liked. Pudding was popular. Those yogurts where you can 'flip' in bits of cookies were a hit.

Reintroducing a meal after a little bit can work once the short term memory is gone—I'd give my mom 1/2 of a sandwich (cut into two slices), she'd eat a few bites, I'd take that away and then reintroduce the uneaten second half a little later, & sit with her, so she'd eat a little more. YMMV.

Good luck,

Lucy C

We've discovered that if our LO can't remember what a food tastes like, she "doesn't like it." We had an interesting time a while back: a relative had fixed an old family favorite recipe for her that she used to love. But it had been years since she'd fixed or eaten it, and she didn't remember it, so the reaction was, "I don't want to eat that. I don't like it."

Being fairly sure she did still like it, I fixed her a plate of it, then walked into the room eating a portion of my own, and making it clear how much I was enjoying it. "Do you want to try a bite?"

"Yes, I'll try that."

She ate the whole thing, and said, "That's really good."

The next day, we were back to "not liking that weird stuff."

H1235

I have have read that mixed foods (gravy, sauces) are often a problem with pwd. That is the case with my mom. You might also consider if she is having trouble eating it. I’m thinking cutting it up getting it on the fork and to her mouth(even it’d it’s just a lack of patience). Getting a handle on what is causing the pickiness might help. Would finger foods work better? Maybe if you record what she likes and doesn’t like you could see a pattern. It seems like I remember someone saying they offered small portions of several different things. Maybe it’s time to stop thinking of it as a traditional meal and more just healthy(ish) options you can put on a plate for her to choose from. Things like some carrots and dip, crackers and cheese, and a bit of cottage cheese. I hope you can find something that works.

jfkoc

and…it may be time to fall back on snacks instead of a meal

harshedbuzz

@H1235 said: "I have have read that mixed foods (gravy, sauces) are often a problem with pwd. That is the case with my mom."

And I found my dad more readily ate heavily sauced foods. Dementia can really change things up. Previously, his preference was for things like grilled fish and tossed salads, but by stage 5 he not leaned into sauces and gravies of all kinds— meatloaf and gravy, pastas, curries, stews. I think maybe they were easier to handle and swallow. He enjoyed more flavorful spice palates than previously— Mexican, Indian and Thai flavors were eaten for a first time and enjoyed. By mid-stage 6, he shifted to a more typically preschool diet— finger foods like chicken fingers and fries. At a certain point it becomes about calories in.

HollyBerry

My mom had vascular dementia, and ate pretty well but a lot less toward the end. I would bring takeout when I came to visit at mealtime, and we'd share one meal - if I was eating it, she'd eat it, too. She would take dessert at mealtime, eat two bites and "save it for later." I found so many cookies, hard as rocks, wrapped in napkins in the basket of her walker.

My partner has AD is doing what you describe - the list of foods she'll eat is getting shorter and shorter. If I make a meal for us to share, she'll still eat it if I put it on a plate in front of her, but her latest is "you don't have to make this for me again" as she finishes the last bite. I'll play along and put the rest in the freezer, and bring it out a few days later. She eats a LOT of granola bars. I try to find the healthy ones and keep a basket with a few choices on the counter. It's had an interesting impact on my eating habits, because I can eat as healthy as I want if I'm ok with her turning it down ("that's too healthy!"), and I can also declare Thursday to be ice cream for dinner night and she thinks that's great.

dancsfo

I agree that choices will get confusing, so I would just remember a list of what is acceptable, and plan a menu that way.

I would not give a PWD choice in seasoning (i.e. salting) if a PWD sees you cooking, While it may sound like collaborative "fun", it won't work if the memory loop is short, and a PWD may want to salt something, and do it it again and again until it is inedible. Distract them to go fold some napkins, or something not too challenging and not dangerous.