Just need to talk to my friends (160)

jfkoc

Life Estate; In a life estate, two or more people each have an ownership interest in a property, but for different periods of time. The person holding the life estate -- the life tenant -- possesses the property during his or her life. The other owner -- the remainderman -- has a current ownership interest but cannot take possession until the death of the life estate holder. The life tenant has full control of the property during his or her lifetime and has the legal responsibility to maintain the property as well as the right to use it, rent it out, and make improvements to it.

jfkoc

My life.

I grew up on Chicagos north shore in a  home overlooking Lake Michigan. My brother was 7 years older, my sister 5 years older. My mother was from the deep south and was a concert pianist so music was always important...The Chicago symphony and opera were always attented.

My father had an office at home and was a talanted sculptor. This meant involvement in the Chicago Art Institute. He also had a great love of music. 

As the third child I was given a lot more freedom or maybe I should say less attention so I was a bit of a free spirit. I danced and ice skated at a low competitive level.

I started working my 14th summer when I took care of two children. My next job was working in a dress shop. My next was camp counselor. Other summers were spent studying.

In college I studied both studio art and art history graduating with a BFA. I married my children's (son and daughter) father right after college. The marriage ended badly after  6 years. I was then hired by Dayton Hudson to be a part of a new store they were setting up in OKC. I married my second husband...he died.

Leaving Dayton Hudson I set up my own design business then met and married my " sailor" (Navy fighter pilot). Together we had a combined family of 6. When he died we had accumulated 13 grandchildren and 4 ggrands. 

Family is now in NYC, STL, Chicago, VA, TX and Tulsa/OKC. Sadly, VA and TX have deemed me unworthy so I only keep up with 4 families. 

My continuing interests are art and child welfare. Oh, geneology too!

That's it in a nutshell.

Jo C.

My life has so many changes, it is like different lives and I guess in way that is true.  Born in tiny township in the U.P. of Michigan; I am the eldest of four - I have two brothers, (one who passed away in his 40's), and a baby sister who died when I was 13 which was traumatic.  In very early life, parents were poor  . . . on some occasions not enough food but my mother certainly could stretch it;  cost of heating left us with having to keep colder temps in the winter at times and it was chilly.  Yet; had an absolutely enchanted and delightful childhood in so many ways.  Father had a strong sense of whimsy and loved classical music and poetry which I learned so much about from him.  Mother talented with her cooking and sewing and was clever with crafting - she taught me to love the library and reading;  we had a good home and good care.  Initally, in early childhood, had a wood burning stove where I sent letters to Santa Claus so they would go to him in smoke; no bathtub - Mom filled a huge galvanized tub with water heated on the stove and there is where we bathed until we moved to a different house.   I spent so much time with my maternal grandmother who I continue to adore and miss; she was wonderful.  One set of grandparents from Sweden and Norway; other set from Italy.  What an awesome, awesome enriching treat that was.

We moved to California and lived in a lovely home in a new housing tract which was close to school.  At ten, during the summer, I worked for a lady taking care of her toddler and five year old daughter while she and husband were at work. Earned $15/week.  How in the world did those parents and my parents let me do that - I certainly was not sufficiently competent. Brother sold newspapers on Sunday going house to house.  I went with him and helped as we pulled a red wagon filled with newspapers.  We were so proud of the money we earned.  Later, brother still in junior high school had a business washing windows and I was an in demand baby sitter and also worked as a clerk in Woolworth's after school, weekends and during holidays. Proud to buy my own clothes, shoes and school bus tickets and lunch money; I felt so grown up.  We kids excelled in school and loved it, and still somehow managed to belong to so many different activities and groups.  Do not know how we did all of that.  In high school I was very active in the drama groups and got the leads in three and four act plays on a large stage which I loved . . . . we had a huge two story auditorium and the audience was always packed.  Scary but wonderful at the same time.  Got offered a scholarship to a well-known drama school but parents said no - guess they thought it was a path to perdition.

I met my husband when I was 14 at junior high school.  We were friends in a large group of kids. In high  school we became boyfriend and girlfriend - we eloped as soon as we turned 18 - yep; honor student goes bad.  My poor parents.   So . . . at 18, we were deeply naive and it is a good thing we did not know how stupid and at risk we were.  We never looked back and continued to move forward on and on and on . . . .four children . . . three sons and one daughter; all out of state or far out of area now; five grandchildren and two great-grands.  All out of state.   DH went into law enforcement in a large department and worked his way into the Detective Bureau where he excelled in solving cases and he advanced in rank. I went to university while juggling kids and home and worked my way to an RN and Master's Degrees.   Became supervising RN on different med center units in early career, then advanced . . . . became Administrator of Patient Care Management.  Was being groomed for further advancement when dementia hit both my mother and step-father at the same time . . . . so; that was the beginning of many changes.

Also had a consulting business and did so at acute med centers, hospice, home health, ERs, physician practices and even got sent out of state to do hospitals which I did not enjoy and gave up the out of state consulting as I did not like being away from home and family.

DH and I have been so very blessed and I never forget to be deeply thankful. We have a wonderful family home that became the center for every holiday and then some for extended family.  We traveled to Europe multiple times; never taking tours, but driving ourselves so we met very interesting local people and had sweet adventures here and there off the tourist trail.  We love live theater, museums, concerts, the ocean, and until recent years made many, many road trips across the U.S. and quite a few up the western coast.  Enjoy Napa Valley and Washington State.  Until my knees gave out I used to play tennis and did a lot of bike riding.  I love to read for pleasure, love a good movie, and more than anything, love children so much; ours and everyone elses and even strangers kids in stores (grin).  Still keep baskets of story books and plastic storage containers of unique toys which our grands enjoyed so much.   DH and I are still together after so many decades  - we actually grew up together and that is another blessing that is counted in thanks so often.  

That is the short of it despite it being so long in the written word. 

ronald71111

Judith, you mentioned sympathy which reminded me of my brother that passed away 2 years ago. He played French horn in the Shreveport and also Hawaii symphony.  Shreveport while still in high school and Hawaii during his time in the army band. He loved music and went to college for a degree in music. He taught at schools for awhile and ended up in Iowa teaching instrument repair. He also tuned pianos for several well known pianist. I need to look for his obituary because I remember it mentioning it.

Jo, I also loved being in plays! I was the french window cleaner in our senior class play. I loved to talk and could easily get up in front of our speech class and give a speech on any subject with a blank piece of paper in front of me and received an a everytime. My teacher never knew I didnt prepare my speech. 

Ron

jfkoc

ah, the French Horn ...one of my favorite sounds,,,that and the Oboe

BethL

Jo, Judith, Lorita, Ron and Sara - I enjoyed reading about your lives. Thanks for sharing.

Lorita

I've really enjoyed reading about everyone's lives, too. Sounds like we all  had good childhoods.

Beth, I d rink Orange pekoe and pekoe. Black- plain old tea. Did try red zinger years ago and liked it.

Sounds like the best way to go, Judith. I think Sam said I could claim 10 acres as residence. Up to $250,000  for residence is exempt or lower taxes.

Did a few things this  afternoon and I'm worn out.

Snowing in Washington  Cascades- is that close to Zettastone Ye

Lorita

Sorry about that post. Tablet is acting up.  Yellowstone tonight!!

ladyzetta

My Life has been a bit mixed up all over the place, I will keep this as simple as I can. 

I was born in Sacto, Calif. I did not know my Dad and I had a few stepdads, never really new any of them. I have two sisters and one brother I am the oldest we all had different fathers. We lived with my Grandparents in Sacto and after they retired, they moved to Cherokee, Okla and lived on my grandfathers family farm. We were then put into foster homes. After my Mom got her life figured out she got a house for us to live in. I attended many different grade schools. Once we settled in with our Mom I attended one high school and graduated with my class.  I had a pretty good childhood this was all I knew. I am the oldest and my brother is the youngest and we are the only 2 alive. Both of my sisters and my mother have passed.

My first marriage was in Sacto, that ended in a divorce. I then met my children's father and we moved to Oregon. My oldest son lives in Seattle Washington my next son lives with me and my daughter lives in Longview Washington. I am very thankful my son lives with me. 

I have no degrees but all my chosen classes in Community Collages and jobs revolved around customer services. When I moved to Oregon, I taught Customer Service and did seminars on customer service. I then went to work for a Resort, it catered to golfers and skiers. I was with them for 30 years. I started my pet sitting business when I was with the resort, and it grew beond what I was able to handle. I knew lot of pet sitters, so I was able to share some of my jobs. When my husband was dx with dementia I had to pretty much turn the pet sitting over to my son. A lot of the pet sitting was stay overs so there could be 2 weeks I was gone. I still do pet sitting now but just for friends, no newcomers. I still have 7 dogs and 3 cats I care for in 3 different homes. Then Molly my dog and Sammy my kitten at home. Molly travels with me. 

My childhood is not as bad as it sounds, I do envy those that grew up with a loving family, it has made me a very independent strong person.  Sometimes that's good and sometimes it's not so good. This is a short version I did skip over a few things. 

Lorita,  I wish I had the same memories that you have.

Thats my story and Iam sticking to it. Hugs Zetta 

Iris L.

Zetta and Lorita and Sayra, I would have been surprised and shocked if there had been someone at my door!  My condo is situated so there is little foot traffic and I almost never have visitors except for the mailman and my next door neighbor never has visitors either.  So we are somewhat isolated.  I did peep through the peephole before I opened the door.  Also, I have a metal security door.  And my cats showed no signs of being disturbed by someone knocking at the door.  So I felt safe.

I barely remember my dreams now.  In fact, I can remember dreams from years past much better than today's dreams.  PWDs want to go home.  Many if my older dreams were about me going home from California back to New York.  I would be in a train or a bus or a plane.  A few times I was on a ship near Antarctica.  The dreams were detailed with different situations, sort of like a situation comedy.  Sometimes I would make it home and I wandered around the streets of my childhood, still in my dreams.  Oddly, I never saw my parents or other relatives, only myself.  Those dreams were puzzling to me until I learned about PWDs wanting to go home.  Then my dreams made sense.  

Sayra, do you get much snow in the winter?  I went to college in Binghamton NY, and we got a lot of snow with temps down to minus 20 degrees in January and February.  One of my aunts lived in Cleveland many years ago.

I'll write my story later.  I'm too tired to think of my life story now.

Iris

ronald71111

Judith, I mentioned my brother tuning pianos, here is what was in his obituary. 

"He tuned pianos for the band Queen, Frank Sinatra, John Denver, Henry Mancini, Rudolf Firkusny, John-Bernard Pommier and was the tour piano technician for Misha Dichter four times".

He was a great adviser for me and helped my mental state several times. He sent me a list of his "personal thoughts and other stuff" shortly before his passing. Here is just a couple from his list.

"If it can be solved, there is no need to worry, and if it can't be solved, worry is of no use." The Dalai Lama 2014

Sometimes you are the only person in the world who will know the truth of a situation and that with have to be enough. My brother

Ron

Mint

Good morning

Heat wave during night and 53F, 12C this morning.  Got 8/10 inch of rain during night too.  This is suppose to be the high and temperatures decreasing throughout day and back into 20s.

Judith, Zetta, JoC and Ron you all had interesting lives.  

Ron I understand that piano tuning is very hard on the body from a book I read written by a massage therapist who had been a piano tuner.  Kind of surprised me.  I have no musical knowledge or talent, believe me.

I drink regular black tea and green tea.  May try earl grey when I buy tea next, we’ll see.  I really like chai but don’t have it very often.  Do have to drink decaf.

Iris some years we get a lot of snow, other years not so much.  Live far enough south of lake that I’m not in the snow belt thank goodness.  They get a lot of snow from lake.

Nothing going on here.  Don’t really know what to do with myself.  It’s day to clean house so guess that is what I will do lol.

Take care everyone

telinde

Good morning.  I wrote my life story yesterday and didn’t realize my iPad was about to lose its charge.  The battery died and I lost my post, so here’s a shorter version.  

I grew up in an ordinary family with two sisters.  I am the middle child and a native of Colorado and still live here.  My dad and uncle had adjoining ranches so we had plenty of space to ride our horses and be outdoors.  My parents and uncle raised potatoes and sold them for years, then converted farming into a cattle ranch.  I know we weren’t considered rich, but if we were poor, I never realized we were.  I was privileged to have grandparents who loved me and cousins to grow up with.  Sunday’s were days of gathering and sharing meals together.  My mom was a fabulous cook, and could make anything taste wonderful.  Crazy, both my sisters are great cooks, but I never picked up the tricks to flavorful cooking.  I love to bake and I can make ordinary meals, but not a pro like my siblings.  

We all worked on the ranch in the summers.  We helped harvest hay, and wheat, and helped with feeding animals and milking the cows, another job I never mastered.  Lol

In high school, I worked in a drugstore.  I can’t remember what my salary was, but I thought I was rich.  I saved enough to put myself through community college.  I majored in business classes and landed a job at the local college working as an administrative assistant and teaching vocational classes.  That’s where I met Harv.  We married in 1972 and had two daughters.  A few years later his two boys came to live with us.  Instant family of six.  I stayed home with the kids for a few years and then got a job at the public school district office and worked there until I retired after Harv’s diagnosis.

We were blessed with 10 grandchildren who are scattered across the U.S., and one in Denmark working as a chef.  No grands yet.  

We were fortunate to have a few years of traveling to Europe and around the U.S., enjoying good times with family and friends.  Like all of you, you know the rest of the story.  

Ron, I used to play the clarinet and organ when I was in high school, but I doubt I could play either one now. 

Lorita, good you’re working on making a decision about the property. It has to be difficult for you.  I can tell you that it’s nice to be retired and have no responsibilities except for yourself. Not sure what I do every day, but I’m always finding fun things to keep me fulfilled.

I hope all have a peaceful week.  I’m going to post this before I lose it.  I’ll check in later. Joan

loveskitties

My story,

I was an only child until I was 12.  My parents both worked.  Until I was 4 my maternal grandmother cared for me during the day, then I was put in a private day school.  At 4th grade started public elementary school and became a latch-key kid.  After my sister was born my mother no longer worked.

I did pretty good in school and after graduation attended college for 3 years to be a math teacher.  For a variety of reasons I left college and went into the work force as a clerk processing Medicare claims.  This got me into a training program for computer programming.

Later married and had son and daughter.  Marriage ended in divorce when they were very young and we lived with my family for several years.  Mother watched the kids while I worked as a clerk for the county.  Determined to be self sufficient, I went to night school to get credentials to get back into computer programming.

My second job in this field was with a local phone company.  I started as a programmer and ended my time with them after 18 years as a merger coordinator for the eastern region.  Left when downsizing started as a result of a merger.  Became a contractor for a mobile phone company and did extensive travel in the US and some in Europe.  Left there when they wanted me to go to South America.

Retired early and live alone with my 2 cats (Smokey and Sweetie) near my children and my parents.  I am blessed than my parents (97 and 96) are still living, have the 2 kids and their spouses, 7 grands, and 4 great grands with number 5 on the way.

I was blessed as a child to have lots of time on grandparents farm, so can relate to all you all share about that.  Even though I had no playmates, the farm was a very special place for me.

That's me!

Marie

Jo C.

The "Life Estate" option is interesting and like anything else, is fraught with all sorts of details for pros and cons, so it is good that you are going to be speaking to an attorney to get the lay of the land for all options open to you with all sides of each option; smart of you and you have time to do so. I know practically nothing about Life Estates, but do understand that some of the concerns are that once there is a "remainderman" named on the deed, that person's legal problems could also become yours - this includes if the remainderman is being sued by another person or if taxes are owed, etc.; a lien can be placed against the property. If there is a divorce, the spouse could claim interest in the property, and if the remainderman should die first, his/her interest in the property would go to whatever heirs named in the Will and heirs can make changes that may not be in the Life Estate persons best interest.   If the remainderman's assets have to go through probate after death, that could hang the property up for some time.  I am NOT knowledgable, but those are some of the things I have seen regarding this approach to property - there are also some very good advantages.  I have really enjoyed reading about folks life stories; they are interesting and encompass such a broad range.  Lorita, your life with your parents and grandparents  on the ranch sounds so dear; I would have liked to have been there.  And Judith; now we know how you came to your very creative self.  Awesome!   I too love the sound of an Oboe and French Horn and also love the sound of a Cello . . . it makes my ears feel lovely. Zetta; your life has had many turns; what a wonderful and compassionate woman you turned out to be. My granddaughter's husband never knew who his father was and he always wondered about what nationality, health history, etc were his.  I could sure understand, so what I did was finally ask him if it was okay for me to gift him with a DNA search through one of the companies doing this.  I felt he deserved to know what he wondered about so much if it was at all possible.  He was very interested and did move forward and have the test and found out his genetics for nationality and health risks. He also has the option of having contact being made with others who closely share his DNA such as half brothers and sisters, grandparents, etc.  He is not sure of doing that at this point and is going to give it more thought which is smart of him.  He was delighted to have the information he got and I am very happy for him. I think that there can be true value with struggle and having to work toward things that do not come easily.  My DH and I have often spoken of this and how hard we both worked to come to be where we are.   No one  helped us, we had to diligently do it all ourselves with blessings from above that came our way to enlighten us.   When we were children or newly married we could never have seen where we would be today; it would have astonished us considering where we started.  We do feel we are the better for it and feel a sense of accomplishment.  It has also made us resilient.  As said before; I am so grateful for the blessings and do remember to say thank you every day for our lives and for loving mercies granted.  Good grief:  TWO COVID stories from a friend and my DIL.  First:  DIL's sister-in-law is a Respiratory Therapist.  Her 10 year old son contracted COVID about a month ago and thankfully he is fine.  Well; a few days ago, her 5 year old daughter was diagnosed with COVID and she is still symptomatic.  Last night, this ethically compromised woman - Respiratory Therapist in a med center - attended a special bridal shower with twelve others in attendance in a closed Party Limousine!   Omigosh.  What the heck.  Her husband is placed off office work for two weeks for incubation observation by his company and is working from home.  Just stunning how careless and lacking in deed for others some folks can be.  This is one more big reminder lesson for me in that there are many, many more just like her out there, so it is incumbent upon me to mask, mask, mask, wash hands, stay out of crowds, distance, vaccinate when the science says it is time, and to not let my guard down in those measures. Next:  A friend's daughter and son-in-law have both been hospitalized with COVID.  They refused to get vaccinated as they did not want any mRNA put into their bodies.  Ironically, the IV treatment they got in the hospital that saved their lives was an mRNA based drug.  Oh my.  This couple, in their mid-50's, had a beautiful home in Arizona and jobs they really liked.   They decided to give up the jobs, sell their house and everything and move to the way-out "boonies" as my friend called it, in Wyoming.   They had bought a vacation trailer park which is now closed down for winter and have been living in their 5th wheel. They are about 100 miles away from a hospital; have no services near them and are living in the 5th wheel as a house will not be built until next summer.  Wyoming winters are not exactly easy.   They have been fortunate in that they were stable enough to be discharged from the hospital to home - but they are far away from care.  They are still unwell and it will take some time to recuperate in their tiny home.  Don't know if they had health insurance, but even if they do they still have incurred some steep hospital and doctor's bills with deductibles and co-pays anyway, and there is concern about long haul syndrome. The mother is really an unhappy person who cannot figure why middle aged "children" would do what they have done.  As I have always thought; having children is easier when they are small because we protect and care for them and ensure they are well; but when they grow up and all is up to them, sometimes it is far more a worry. We have had multiple Members on this site that also moved far out into the country far removed from any healthcare or even grocery access and they are desperate with highly compromised LOs.  They are desperate for care needs but doctors and hospitals so far away; many will take hours to get to care, and no specialists to be found.  My friend was so exasperated, she expounded on the fact that her kids were in their 50's, college educated, and how in the world did they not think that healthcare and being near reasonable resources was going to be something they will need more and more AND how were they not smart enough to get vaccinated.  She was really upset, and of course she is a worried mother. Ron, a French window cleaner - I can only imagine the dynamics you brought to that character!  Like you, I was always asked to present a memorized poem or story or be in skits, etc. by teachers, etc   I did not go seeking it when it started in elementary school; guess they knew I would not start crying or wet my pants.  Ha!  I did so much in Jr. High and then in Sr. High in that huge two story auditorium.   I got to love the smell of the boards of the stage and the makeup and all that came with it.  I am a private person in many ways so it is interesting in that I found acting so enjoyable despite all the memorization that came with a four act play.  One time, I had a costume change in one of the big plays.  I had to go backstage and run down winding metal steps; you know the kind . . . get off my casual clothes; wardrobe put me in a slinky black gown (I had a figure back then) and high heels.  Well; I fell off the winding stairs half way up and the gown tore down one side. OH NO!  Wardrobe lady lifted up dress and put it together with straight pins - I had just enough time to get back onstage with cue and not a second to spare.  Fallout from that was every time I walked about the stage, I got poked with the pins. OUCH!  But could not say a word or grimace.  Was just afraid the pins would fall out and I would be bare down one side, but thankfully that did not happen.  Lucky.  You are all so very special and each of you Front Porch Friends so unique.   This has been a really positive exercise.  Thank you everyone for sharing. J.

littleme

You all know that I am Australian, but my story is really similar [apologies to Lorita, she has already read about this]. I am the youngest of 4, spread over 13 years. We grew up on a mixed farm, about 15 miles from the nearest town. No local school until I was about 4, so Mum was teacher, using lessons that came from the Education Department by post. By the time I was 5, locals had built a one-roomed school, which I attended for 9 years --one teacher for all the classes. My biggest class was 5, me and 4 boys lol.

At 14 went to boarding school, same school as my Mum 35 years before! All day travelling by steam train there and back 4 times a year. Then went to University of Queensland in Brisbane to study Biological Sciences, and for first degree. Then moved to Adelaide for more study, met DH in 1966, and the rest as we say is history!

Had 2 daughters, then went back teaching at High Schools, Trade Schools, Adult Education and University. Finally retired about 2002 when arthritis made walking difficult. DH started his journey with alz about 2007, and is now deteriorating rapidly [doctor says weeks or months. He is 91 this month.]

DH has been in care for 5 years and 3 months. I fill my time with handicrafts, singing in a small choir, and recently writing my memoir, which is what Lorita has read.

This forum, and especially the front porch/veranda has been a life-saver for me. Couldn't have managed without you all. I am just so grateful.

Barbara

Lorita

Hi,

 My internet has been out of commission all day so I've felt sort of out of the loop, so to speak.  I love reading the life stories of all of us - quite diverse group we are.  Thank you Jo, for suggesting we do this.

 I've had a busy day - did a lot of cleaning (absolutely not my thing) but I have a plumber coming tomorrow to replace the drainage pipes under the kitchen sink, to find out why the water from the washer and kitchen isn't going down the drain, instead of up into the yard, also have a frost-free hydrant that leaks when it's turned on and darn stool is having problems flushing right.  Probably my fault - I replaced the flapper a while back and it might not have been the right one.  I had it so used it.

 Propane man didn't show up today.  So, maybe all his people didn't get back to work today - maybe tomorrow.  It was cold today so used it - it heats fine, just makes a noise.  Supposed to be in the 70s again later this week so won't need it then.

 Didn't hear back from Sam - did get a call from Bryon.  His son will be 13 this next week and he's going to be busy with him having a sleep over with some of his friends but may get to come Sunday afternoon.  I want him and Shane, if he comes, to try to get the back door of the cowshed closed and fixed so it will stay closed until I can get a new one made.

Called Daniel twice, no reply.  Voice mail not set up. Called Shaun - no reply.  I'm beginning to think there's a big, red flat on my number saying "don't return this person's call".

 For some weird reason I hadn't thought that my insurance might pay part of this repair - if I ever get it done.  So called them.  A girl I went to high school with owns the insurance company and is a neighbor (three miles away) - but didn't talk with her.  They'll send out an adjuster to see if they might pay.  It will cut down on my discount but probably will be worth it if they will pay.  I told her the trouble I was having finding someone to do the work and she says she hears this all the time - people are making more money by not working and are just not interested.  Guess it's the same everywhere.

 So, for the plumber, I've done the dishes (I won't let them stack up like that again - I was out of silverware, bowls and almost everything).  Also cleaned out under the sink - had no idea I had so much "stuff" under there.  I think I found three bottles of Draino. Mopped the kitchen floor and spiffed up the utility room so it doesn't look so bad with all those boards on the floor to walk on so I won't fall through.

 Took down the trash early, early this morning (it was as cold as kraut, too).  Checked the girls late this afternoon (still cold).  So, I've felt all right today - maybe I can feed every other day or at least try it.  Got to get over and get a couple of mineral tubs later this week while it's warm.  The guy who takes my calves to the sale owns a fertilizer, feed place and with the liquid feed I'm using I have to use another kind of minerals our feed store doesn't carry.

 Did get a call from Darwin.  Things were all right at that time - he said "she loves me today" so, hopefully, his day was better.  It's really hard on him.  This is the second time he's had to deal with alz and his first wife passed away with cancer a few years after they moved here.  I never met her but did talk with her on the phone one time.

 I've been watching the National Finals Rodeo the last five nights.  A cowboy from Pryor, Okla. and his partner just won the steer wrestling tonight.  My favorite part of a rodeo is bull riding.  Makes me think of Jasper and Casper - big old guys - over a ton each and so gentle they'd give me sugar - bet those buckin' bulls wouldn't do that and who in the world would try.

 Sounds like all of us had interesting childhoods - all growing up in different parts of the Country, and World, and ending up here on this thread and good friends on the front porch. Interesting that several of us have lived on, or visited, farms during our lifetime.   Still haven't heard from Sandy and Shirley.

 I've already taken a nap - didn't realize it but when I woke up thought I'd lay down on the divan - but Stormy has beaten me to it.  So, I'll watch some more of the rodeo.

 I saw on the news tonight that a 140 ft. tall Christmas tree in Enid, I think, was damaged by the wind last night - broke off the top 10 ft. of it.  I haven't  had a Christmas tree in probably 45 years.  I do have my Christmas decoration up - but, it's been up all year on top of the entertainment center.  It's a 5" tall, probably chalk, Santa Claus that Karen gave me many years ago.   I did find a string of Christmas lights sometime this summer but don't remember where I put it.  I do like to look at the lights.

 Sort of concerns me that people will be in the house this week but I'll give them a mask at the door and I'll wear mine and stay in a different room if I can so maybe it'll be all right.  Seems there's a big Thanksgiving surge going on and now 17 States have the new variant.  I think this stuff is here to stay in one way or another.

 Jo, thought I'd wait to hear what Sam says before I call the attorney I used last year.  After this I need to make a will.  I don't think the one I have applies at all anymore.  Always one more, or two or three more, things to do.

You all should see Sweet Pea and Tina.  They're really growing and are good buddies.  They're about two months old and moms are letting them do their own thing now and not keeping them with them all the time.  Still don't think they've realized that feed is in the creeper - maybe a bit too young yet - but the others have found it and come up every so often to get a bite.

 Glad we all seem fairly well today and hope you all have a good night's sleep.  See you tomorrow.

  

Mint

Good morning

We have an interesting bunch of friends here on the front porch.

20F, -7C.  Fall gone and winter is back.  We got an inch of rain yesterday.  Very thankful for that.

Joan like you had no understanding of how poor we were til I got to be an adult.  Then I realized as time passed how hard they had it.  Never heard them complain.  They may not have realized either.

JoC quitting your job, moving to the boonies, some going off grid is a fad right now.  Believe it is a fad because think they eventually will see, probably when it is too late, that this is a rat race also, just a different type, that may leave them unprepared for their mature years.  Yes they will mature just like we have.  They will understand when there is a severe drought, pests and wild animals eat a lot of things, a late freeze kills everything,  accidents and sickness happen,  the work their doing wears out their back and joints,  that there is no perfect world.   There is a reason that not that long ago people left the farm and came to the city.  There are advantages and disadvantages both ways.  As one gets older how do you cut firewood, butcher animals,  pull a chicken tractor all over the place, work outside in all kinds of weather, pay for expensive meds the rest of your life, drive hours whenever you need healthcare or groceries and don’t feel like driving.    They are just fooling themselves.  Know people in my parents age group that have helped their own parents a lot financially as they matured who never had steady public work.  10-20 years from now may be a lot of land for sale cheap, lost dreams.  Think a lot of people being mislead by big YT channels who are spewing all these ideas.  How are they making a lot of money, off their YT viewers.  Have wandered what  happens when they can no longer do this and they start losing all their YT viewers?   Think some of them may be smart enough to be creating a retirement fund they never talk about, guessing some of them are not. )

My friend’s S & BIL continue their covid battle.  He has been back in hospital over a week and she just went back in.  Think it has been at least four weeks of them being in and out of hospital, not well when they are at home.  This is not looking like a good scenario at all.  

Take care

ronald71111

Good morning all! As I sit on the front porch waiting for all my friends, my mind has wondered back to my brother's stories he sent me. One has been real inspirational to me, reminding me that anything can have a bright spot in our lives  my brother survered with crohn's disease for years; several surgeries and eventually a colostomy bag he always kept going. Here is a story he wrote!

"Another hero that I think of frequently is a young man in a wheelchair.  I saw him only once in a Stephen Hawking type rig. I never knew his name. The single chance meeting took place on a day when I was working at Western Iowa Tech Community College. I was feeling a bit sorry for myself that day. I was responsible for the education of a group of adults, teaching them to tune and rebuild pianos. This group of intelligent men and women had given up a great deal taking time away from their lives in order to develop new skills and perhaps gain better control of their lives. I firmly believe they deserved my very best efforts regardless of what I might be dealing with on any particular day. What I was dealing with on that particular day was the perpetual inconvenience and periodic pain of Crohn's disease. After morning classes I, entered the elevator for a easy trip upstairs. I pressed the up button. The elevator travelled the short distance from the basement to ground floor and when the elevator door opened, there he sat, a young man alone in a wheelchair. The young man looked up at me and a smile filled his face. He said nothing, but the brilliance of his smile gave light to what had been a very dark day for me. My thought on that day and many days after was, if a twenty-sonething-year old young man bound to a wheelchair can find a reason to smile, I should be better able to deal with whatever goes on in my life.  That young man has no idea who I am, but I will never forget him, a young man in a wheelchair with a smile." 

Rest I piece brother, you will also never be forgotten!

REMEMBER TO SMILE MY FRONT PORCH FRIENDS, YOU NEVER KNOW HOW MUCH IT MIGHT MEAN TO SOMEONE. 

Ron

Lorita

Morninng.

Ron, what a great story about your brother and how  he felt.  How true that is.  A smile from someone when you're feeling down and sorry for yourself means everything - it can change your whole outlook for the day. What is it they say - a frown takes many more muscles than a smile.  No matter how bad off you are, there's always someone else who is worse.

 It's crisp here this morning and the sky is milky so not much sun right now.  Hated to get up but had eggs to lay and fish to fry, so I did.  I was late getting out to feed Tom and Jerry and they were much closer to the yard than usual - guess they were going to come and get me.

 Sara - what do you use to clean windows besides Windex? I need to clean windows and I'm out of Windex so know you have something else to use.  It's amazing, simply amazing or awful, how dirty windows can get when they're hidden by curtains - and, there's big dogs or cats that get their noses against the window panes.  I have a slider over the kitchen sink and it's hard to reach the top of it.  I cleaned it a few days ago and I noticed yesterday there's about a one inch line across it where the cats have rubbed their noses - they love to sit in the window and watch what's going on outside.  There's a little squirrel that plays in that big elm tree and they watch him.  I saw him a few mornings ago - he was sitting or standing very still - like he was going down the tree.  He stayed that way a long time, then turned around and disappeared up the tree.

 The plumber called this morning and will be here afternoon when they finish another job.  So, I'm ready for them.  Guess I'll open that slider and stay in a different room.  Kind of scary to open that window because a few years ago it was open and one of our cats was in the window and guess he pushed against the screen - it came out and he fell to the ground  I think he fellon the edge of a brick and it killed him.  So, I don't open it enough for them to get through.

 Had a nice visit with Mike early this morning on his way back to the Clinic.  We talked about the farm and options.  He'll come over in a few days, probably this weekend, and we'll talk more.  I'm really thinking the life estate is the way to go.  I can still live here and pretend it's all still mine (told him that and he agreed).  I could enjoy things and still not be responsible for anything except the house.  And - I must say I'm not doing a very good job of that - finding someone to fix things.  Just too hard to do.  I know it's easier in town because you have many more options but it'll work out.

 Not sure when the insurance adjuster will come or the propane man.  Always waiting for someone or something - that's the story of my life.  Like Charles said about the Army - hurry up and wait. 

 Joan - do you still ride?  I bet it was fun growing up with all those people and being on the farm a lot.  When I was growing up I had a Pinto - called him Flash.  I didn't ride him very much but he was mine.  Then we had Buck, until he passed away a few years ago.  He wasn't ridden either.  My sister had a horse she rode and I've yet to convince Carol that it was Lorita she'd see riding instead of me.  Something that was kind of odd - Charles' sister's husband grew up not far from us and he had met Lorita when they were riding horses- something about her horse didn't want to jump a puddle of water.   Guess you never know who you'll meet.

 It's going to be 70 and above Thursday and Friday this week so I'll get over and get those mineral tubs for the girls.  They still have some minerals but I want them to have the right kind to go with the liquid feed.  They're scattered in a couple of pastures this morning.  They're used to having feed late in the day and they'll be feeding in the mornings so they'll have to adjust to that.  I always wanted them to have a full stomach for the night.  Now the tears are beginning to flow again - why does life have to be so complicated and so many changes?  I have to remember - I'll still be here where I love it and the girls will be here so there won't be that much of a change.  Have to convince myself of that.

 I heard a wolf, at least one, last night. Not a coyote but a wolf howling.  I so hope no one kills it or them.  I hear coyotes every night but this was actually a wolf.

 Zetta, watch those weather reports and be careful.  I think you all have snow up there.  I mentioned a couple of days ago that one of the rose bushes had buds and flowers - yesterday I walked by the other one and it also has buds on it.  Mother Nature is confused with all of our warm weather.  The Gerbera Daisy is still beautiful. 

 Guess I'd better stop and check the water tanks and finish my hot tea.  I've never tried Earl Gray but, like Sara, maybe I will.  Seems they're now saying that coffee, up to five cups a day, is really good for you.  When I was working in Urology the ward coffee pot was in my office and I made the coffee - bet I drank at least that many cups a day.  I can still remember the smell of Carol's coffee when we'd go to the Canteen about 3:30 in the afternoon.  Smelled so good - really smells better than it tastes.

 Hope all of you have an enjoyable day.

loveskitties

An option for cleaning windows is vinegar with a bit of water.  Have also heard that using newspaper instead of paper towels or cloth will help prevent streaks.  

Hope that you will soon feel more comfortable with the decisions you are now making.  Why is it the tough stuff waits until we get older to happen!

Wishing all a safe and blessed day.

Marie

Lorita

Hi,

 Marie, I guess the hard decisions come when we're older because we don't need to think about these things when we're younger.  I know decision-making used to be a lot easier when I was younger and when I had someone to talk with about them - two heads are always better than one.

 I'm talking to the girls and telling them I probably won't own them much longer but they'll be here anyway and there won't be a change for them except different people will be feeding them and at a different time.  Silly, isn't it - but I talk to them all the time.

 Well, I've waited all day.  Plumbers were supposed to come early afternoon.  They had some kind of big job this morning.  At 3 p.m. they still weren't here so called and they had been tied up but might make it this afternoon.  I told Jeremy it would be dark in two hours so wait until morning.  So, supposedly, they'll be here tomorrow and the insurance adjuster on Thursday.   I could scream I'm so tired of waiting.

I heard a noise outside when I was talking to them on the phone and it was UPS.  Saw him coming toward the gate, then right back to his truck and left.  It was the door seal I had ordered - he just pitched it over the gate. It's really wide so it may fit.  I'll take it in the next time I go to town and they can see if it does work.  I don't know if other people have problems with UPS or not, but I really do. There's one really good guy that brings  things to the porch but not so much with the others.  We had one wonderful driver a couple of years ago but they transferred him to another route.

 Sorry, guess I'm just in a fussy mood.

 Still need to make that apple crisp.  I have the apples sliced so it wouldn't take any time but guess I'll do that tomorrow. 

 Thanks, Marie, I'll try the vinegar and water and get those windows cleaned before the adjustor gets here Thursday.

 It's been cloudy and cold all day.  Wind has switched to the south but it's still a cold wind.  Supposed to be in the 70s Thursday and Friday.  Really been on a roller-coaster ride the last three or four weeks but winter will settle in before too long.  Dread the cold weather and pray it won't be a winter like the last one.

 Hope everyone has enjoyed the day.

jfkoc

Re delivery/workmen etc. ...Here they will not come through a closed gate.

I had business meetings all day. The last one was with my CPA. She has 100 acres over in Weatherford. The family homesteded before the run. I told here about you and your cows. She said to tell you to sell. She would like to but here "baby brother" is taking care of the cows. She went down memory lane talking aboutwinters and the one time her father brought a new born into the house. Her mother said no but the reply was "it is only for the night"...lol.

BethL

Just a little note: I watched "First Wave" on Hulu this afternoon. You can get one month of Hulu free - just have to remember to cancel your membership at the end of that month. "First Wave" is a documentary done by National Geographic. It is about the pandemic heroes (healthcare workers) and patients in March, April and May 2020 in New York City. It follows several patients. It shows it like it is. People getting intubated, CPR, etc. - and also people getting better and going home. It is compelling. Sad in places. Happy in places. Highly recommend it.

Mint

Good morning

22F, -6C.  Wasn’t bad yesterday though as not windy.

Enjoyed the story Ron about your brother and the smile.  Smiles can definitely be encouraging. 

Lorita I talk to the birds when I clean or fill their feeder.  Who else do we have to talk to?   

Beth I don’t have a TV but thank you for sharing.  

Fixed my first steak from beef I bought yesterday.  It was a ball tip steak.  Guess it is a cheaper, not as tender cut.  Found at very simple air fryer recipe for it and turned out nice.  Was very easy to chew and good flavor.  Cut it up into one inch cubes.  Coated it with a little oil.  Seasoned it with salt, pepper, garlic powder and Worcestershire.  

Talking of tea.  Saw a video on using onion skins to make tea.  Supposedly very nutritious.  Bought some organic onions and tried it.  Actually tasted good to me.  Used red onion skins.  Tasted like a very mild onion broth and went well with lunch.  My stomach did not like it though so back to my regular teas.  Store day maybe I will find a new tea if I remember.

Take care

Lorita

Hi,

 Judith, I think your CPA is probably right.  So will probably proceed.

 I doubt UPS or FedEx would come through the gate at the county line if it was closed but it's a big, heavy, pipe gate and hard to open and close even though it has a gate wheel.  The other gate closer to the house, when closed they don't always come through but leave whatever it is at the gate.  Yard gates are different.  If they're worth their salt, they come through and put the pkg. on the porch.  Yesterday the UPS driver threw it over the fence - luckily, it was the door seal but it could have been something breakable.  Monday I had  a UPS pickup and instead of coming through the yard gate he (different one, I think) left the label on the fence so pkg. wasn't picked up.  Just now a Pensky truck brought a pkg. and I went out on the porch and he was about to leave it in the fence.  Told him to bring it on to the porch - he did - then I told him not to throw pkgs. over the fence.  It may have been the wrong guy - not sure.  The other day I was coming home from town, I think, and UPS was stocked at our entry gate about to leave something there.  I told him not to do that - to bring it on to the house. He said he couldn't come through the gate because of the tree limb.  Bryon took that limb off so that's fixed.  Always something.

 Sara - does the tea taste like onions?  Glad your beef was good.  I know it's a nice feeling to have that in your freezer and not have to think about buying it.  I understand meat is really expensive in the stores - one thing I don't have to worry about buying.

 The two plumbers came today.  Sheena and Stormy met them at the door so they stood still while they "examined" them.  He put some new parts under the sink and fixed the stool and hydrant.  They had a harder time finding why the water from kitchen and washer wouldn't drain all the way out to the end of the line.  It's part PVC and part black roll which has deteriorated. They'll come back next week and replace that. 

 Stormy was very protective. When they'd go out and come back,  he would  stop them at the door, barking.  I don't know if he would have followed through but they didn't push it.  I kept telling Stormy it was okay - funny thing, one of the boys' name is Storm so everytime I said Stormy, he thought I was talking to him.  Sheena was beside Stormy but the guy said he wasn't worried about her - just Stormy.  I've often wondered how he would react.  I know some people won't come into the yard so I always keep them in the house when something is supposed to be delivered.  Right now butter wouldn't melt in his mouth - he's cured up asleep on the divan - Sheena's asleep on her bed.

 Tomorrow morning the insurance adjuster comes so we'll go through it all again.

 It's a pretty day - cool (in the 50s)  Carol just called so lost my train of thought.  I'll post again later.   Hope all of you are well.

Jo C.

Wow . . . had a hard time getting on Page 3 to Post.  Other Threads no problem, but this one took a very long time; hope that is only temporary.

Joan, Marie and Barbara, you stories are so interesting.  What a great and varied gathering we have on the Front  Porch.  Barbara, did you mind going to Boarding School, and did you get to go home on the weekends?  Bet that was the way to get good education where you were located.

Sayra; I just noticed that you have no TV.  Recent?   Do you miss it?  Lots of  garbage, but also some good stuff too.  I have just finished watching a PBS Special, "Land Girls," a fiction series regarding women, who in WWII, went into the country to plant food and keep farms as assistance to feed the British population; very interesting as well as a good story of the multiple women on one farm.   I watch Hercule Poirot, and Grantchester, and a few others on PBS.  Love Mystery on PBS; they have some very good shows.  Also like some of the old black and white movies.  

For those of you with TVs, every Christmas comes one of my favorite movies; "The Bishop's Wife," with Cary Grant, David Niven, Loretta Young and Elsa Lanchester.  It is a beautiful film; wonderful story, wonderfully shot and perfectly cast.  I watch it each year.  If you come across the same titled new remake, I would skip it - it was absolutely horrible.  The original just awesome. 

Lorita, it is probably harder to get the workmen out to the house because you are so far away and very rural.  I have noticed even where we live, that workers do not like to go beyond certain area boundaries; takes too much time I guess.   So glad you got the kitchen on the way to pipe perfection and that the convenience is working well now.  Hurray!

As for the delivery people; they are not supposed to go where there is a closed gate.  I have run into this as we have brick pillars around the front courtyard entry to our house with wrought iron spanses between pillars and a wrought iron gate.  One can see through the iron and gate just fine and see the entrance to the house which is not that many steps from the front gate; but if we do not leave the gate open, the delivery people will not put the packages inside.  Drives me nuts; the gate is not locked and is easy to open; but they are not permitted to do so.

The UPS and FedEx delivery people have a horrible time of it. They must load their own trucks with all the packages and boxes for going far and wide across their territory and do loading by geographic area, trucks packed to the roof; AND they are on a very, very tightly timed schedule.  Timed to the nth degree and held to it for the day and so often during heavy times, beyond human ability.  That is right; those poor folks are timed and have to go, go, go.  They must deliver rapidly and often will run from truck to porch or whatever trying to keep up. Very stressful and also hard on their bodies.  Easy for them to end up with knee and back issues as well as stress. 

 One time, our front gate was closed; it pulls open easily but nope; against policy.  It was FedEx.  We had no idea we had a delivery; the boxes were left outside the gate but not in an enclosed area, they were placed on top of the brick planter facing the grass area which faced right onto the front sidewalk.  We did not know they were there for two days and were SO lucky they did not get stolen and that the automatic sprinklers did not go off in the planter or it would have ruined the contents of the boxes.  One contained a leather purse from Macy's.  DH found the boxes by accident.  We do not use our front entrance as we drive into the garage and enter the house through a door into our laundry room that leads into the family room so we did not see the boxes.  I called the company about the exposed packages, but there was no assistance or even a care there.

So hope that all goes well with the rest of the repairs Lorita, what a nice thing it will be to have it done.

Mr. Ron, you are so right; a smile, even to strangers does a lot for the human spirit.  I try to do so; it costs nothing and often gets a lovely smile right back.

 Off I go to get to some laundry that is coming out of the dryer.  Have a good evening every one,

 J.

Lorita

Hi,

 Been waiting for UPS to deliver my Panatone for Christmas.  Years ago Charles and I were in Big Lots (loved to go there and see what they had) and noticed them, bought one and from that time on we've usually had them for Christmas.   Delicious toasted.  I don't think he's coming tonight.

 Jo - you mentioned that the FedEx people have to load their own trucks.  I think one of the drivers told me UPS doesn't have to - not sure.  I ordered heavy sacks and cases of cat and dog food from Chewy and one of the drivers told me they deliver Chewy products to lots of people around here.  The girl who has been delivering during the week isn't that big so I know it's hard for her.  Last time we had three huge, heavy boxes.  She unloaded all of them from the truck onto the dolly, brought them in and put them on the porch.  One time she didn't have a dolly and carried them.  I usually keep one on the porch so told her to use it when she needed to and she has a couple of times. 

 You all were so lucky your packages weren't stolen.  In Tulsa they call people who do that porch pirates.  I've heard people follow the delivery trucks and steal things they've left if they think no one is home. 

Mileage adds up for repair work here - service calls are expensive.  Todays was just under $300.  I opened the mail from yesterday and for a notice they had made the annual deposit from my IRA to checking and it more than covered the cost.

 Made that apple crisp and taste-tested it - pretty good but don't think I'll have any tonight - just had some strawberry-banana yogurt so I think that will do the trick.  I had a cheese and avocado sandwich about 1 p.m. - really love avocados and wish I had a tree but no avocado trees around here.  We used to get great big, light green ones and they were so good.  Never see them anymore.  We grew a big avocado plant from one of those seeds.  It was at least five feet and had the main stem and one on each side of that stem - looked like a person with their arms outstretched.   We had that for years. In the summer we'd put it outside and bring it inside in the winter - until we forgot one winter.

 Fourteen years ago today we had a huge ice storm.  We  had freezing rain for four days and the ice on the trees was two inches thick.  You could hear the limbs breaking - sounded like gunshots.  I thought I might have a picture of it in the laptop but didn't.  It was horrible - looked like a warzone.  Our weatherman said some people were out of power for a month.  I remember one ice storm (not sure it was that one - we have them every few years) - all the electric poles from here to the highway west of us were broken off and two or three miles to the east.  All of those had to be replaced.  At that time we didn't have the generator but we did have heat but no way to cook.  That may have been the time we rigged up something over the heater in the bedroom and scrambled eggs.  Took a long time for them to cook and they didn't taste too good - but we ate them.  Our neighbor took things out of their freezer and put them outside to keep them - it was so cold outside they stayed frozen.  Gets hairy out here sometimes.  We moved down to the farm house in 2000 just before an ice storm.  Offhand I can think of five or six awful ice storms.  Seems like when I was growing up we had big snows and not much ice - guess that's climate change.

 Been watching the NFR this week and there's a young man from the town where I shop that's competing in steer wrestling.  His mother and her family always sat in front of us in Church and this is her grandson.  He did pretty well last night.  I think there's five more nights of it - lots of money to be won but lots of danger of being injured, too.

  This morning one of the cats was sitting on the window ledge over the kitchen sink and I was talking to him about the squirrel that I see in that tree.  After he got down I continued to watch and there he was!  He came down from the top, then out on a big limb, sat there a minute, then on out to the end of the limb and onto a limb from an Althea.  It's amazing that the limbs that were so small held his weight.  They're really fun to watch.

 Still have to wash those windows tomorrow.  We had new windows put in several years ago and they open out so I can clean the outside, too.  It's amazing that those old windows lasted almost a hundred years - but, when the wind blew you could see the curtains move. 

 I've rattled on enough so I'll stop for tonight.  Hope all of you are well tonight. 

 Forgot to mention Carol said her sister who had the virus is now having atrial fibrillation so much so that she couldn't drive her husband to work today.  He also had the virus, then the subdural hematoma with personality change.  Doctor has told him he couldn't drive for six weeks - but he did today.

 Rest well tonight.

Iris L.

I have not been able to keep up because I've been very tired. 

The other night I dreamed that I heard a knock at my door and went to open the door.  Well, I discovered what happened.  It was not a dream.   Last night, I heard the same knocks, but I was still awake.  It turns out, these were drumbeats from my downstairs neighbor's music!  It was very low and faint, and sounded like knocking.  Isn't that something!

Iris

Lorita

Glad the mystery is solved, Iris .Who would have thought about that?  Hope you get a good night's rest and feel better tomorrow.