Stage 5/6 straight to Stage 8

Ed1937

Yesterday morning I received a call from MC. When they did checks in the morning, they found my wife unresponsive, with blood coming out of her mouth. They had her taken by ambulance to the hospital. I met Jennifer, our daughter, at the hospital. Wife seemed to be doing pretty well. She was alert, knew everybody, and knew she was in the hospital. But she wanted to go home. They did a stool sample, and there was blood in it. Doc suspected a stomach bleed, and said they could try to treat it with medicine, or they could put a scope down her stomach to see what was going on. That would have required an anesthetic. I told him to try to treat it with medicine, since it did not appear to be anything major at the time. Jennifer had to leave because she was in a lot of physical pain. So Carole and I talked for quite some time. She was very much "with it", and repeatedly told me how much she loved me, at one time saying "I love you more than you will ever know". Then after a while, she started having pain. She tried to get out of bed, but I told her she couldn't. Then I peeled back the sheets, thinking she had a BM in the bed. But it was all blood. When they got it cleaned up, the nurse told me that her BP dropped quite a lot, and she would be passing. They asked me if I wanted them to treat it like hospice would, keeping her comfortable. I told them yes, but to let nature take it's course. The doc ordered morphine through IV. This worked almost immediately, and she fell asleep. But a little later, she would cry out in pain. So I asked the nurse to give her more morphine. She told me the doctor ordered it every four hours, and it had only been one hour. I told her I wanted to talk to the doctor because at this point in the game, if she got it every fifteen minutes, that would be OK with me. She contacted the doctor, and he ordered a morphine drip, which kept her comfortable until the end, some seventeen hours after being told she would pass. I'm doing OK, but it still hasn't sunk in yet.

Iris L.

I'm so sorry, Ed!  Please accept my condolences in the sudden loss of your beloved wife.

Iris L.

harshedbuzz

Dear Ed-

Please accept my sympathy on the passing of your dear wife. 

HB

60 falcon

Ed, I'm so sorry to hear this.

Scooterr

Ed, my heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry Ed

CStrope

OMG, definitely not what we normally are prepared to happen so quickly after we place our spouse.  But I'm so glad she didn't suffer for a long time.  Sending good thoughts and prayers

easy23

So sorry for your loss....

Bill_2001

Dear Ed,

I am reading this through tears. I am so sorry for the loss of your dear wife. Hold on to her words of love forever.

I thought I would be ready for my wife to go, but reading your post tells me otherwise. Grief is the price we pay for love. 

I pray for you and your family, and may the Lord bring you peace in the coming days.

Lills

Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss!  I wish you comfort and strength ahead!!  I'm so glad her final words were expressing her love to you.  Cherish that!

A losing hand.

Ed,  Sorry for your loss.  Take care of yourself.

M1

Oh Ed.  Oh my.

June45

Dear Ed, I can't even imagine what your last 24 hours have been like.  I am so sorry for you and your family's loss. I am glad that you had those last moments and words with your wife.

dayn2nite2

Oh my gosh, how shocking for you and your family.  I'm so sorry.  I think absolutely keeping her as comfortable as possible was the right thing to do and I would just say to you try to rest as much as you can, even if it's just sitting in a chair (because I don't know if you can sleep or not).  Be kind to yourself during this time, and give yourself a chance to catch your breath.

Twin Mom

Ed, I am so sorry.  I am happy you were able to be with her.  Please take care of yourself and know you did everything right by her.

SQBEAR50

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Nicole 

Mint

Ed I am so sorry.

Jo C.

Oh my gosh, Ed.   How horribly stunning a turn of events this is; I am deeply and truly so very sorry.  In all of this, you were gifted with Carole's heartfelt words of how deeply she loves you; I am glad that you were with her to hear that and that you were able to advocate for her comfort and relief from pain as she experienced the final moments of her journey.

I send my deepest condolences to you and your family; we will certainly be thinking of you and holding you in our hearts and prayers. 

Your Forum friend,

J.

mrl

Oh Ed,

I'm stunned. God Bless You, many prayers coming your way.

Michele

Vitruvius

You have my deepest, sincerest sympathy. Please take care. I'm sure your family will support you. 

A. Marie

Dear Mayor Ed, you have been such a comfort to so many on this forum that I hope we can provide some comfort to you in return. I'm so sorry for the passing of your dear wife so soon after her placement. But at the same time, both she and you have been suffering for a long time. Her suffering is over now, and I hope that you can find peace in your devoted family and in the memories of your life together.  And I'm glad that you and she were able to have some last words of love before she went.

Crushed

Sending every warmth.  we sometimes forget that our loved ones are vulnerable to allkinds of medical conditions.  hang in there

Ed1937

Thank you, everybody. She had six of our eight living children at her bedside when she passed. I held her left hand, and our son, who lived with us, held her right. She is at peace, and she will not have to see stage eight because of dementia. I am able to sleep for maybe an hour before waking up thinking about it.

Joydean

Ed my sincere condolences to you and your family. You knew her love for you was as strong as yours for her. Glad you got to hear one more time her be able to express them. Sending prayers for you and your family. What a blessing to have them there together with you both.

Stuck in the middle

So sorry, Ed.  God bless you.

Quilting brings calm

Ed - I’m so sorry for this sudden loss of the matriarch of your family.  It sounds like she had some  of that terminal clarity  that people mention, and you got to say your final goodbyes.  Whatever the illness was was probably not fixable by the point it showed up, even if you had gone  to the surgical option.   I’m sure it came as a shock to you and your offspring. 

It will take some time to process and to adjust- not that you will ever be quite the same.  Please come converse  with us here as you feel able to.   

Lorita

Ed, please accept my condolences on your loss.  We never know what the next day or hour will bring.  You can be comforted by the thought that you were a loving caregiver for your wife.  She expressed her love for you just as you had done for her.

We're all here if you need us.  Glad her family was with her as she passed from this earth.

​fesk

I am very sorry for your loss.

May flowers

Wow, I am so sorry.

Cherjer

Dear Ed,

I am so sorry to hear about the passing of you dear wife. May she rest in peace. Your caregiving was unbelievable. What love you both showed to each other.

ImMaggieMae

Dear Ed, I am so so shocked and sorry. Writing this through tears. You were with her at the end and thankfully you were able to talk with her and you both had a chance to express your love. Advocating for her and her comfort at the end was your last gift to her. Please pass on my condolences to your family. You are lucky to have them around you. Please take care of yourself. This was so unexpected.

Hoot619

Ed, I'm glad your family was with you and your wife at the end. Keep you and family in my prayers