my father with dementia is still CEO of his company; looking for advice

hmsmith

Hi, I have a tricky situation and feeling lost about what to do. My father founded a company and he has been running it for over 20 yeas.
He has developed dementia over the past few years.
As of now, his symptoms are:
Consistently doesn’t know where he is (such as which town or state or even if he is in his own home)
He can’t remember what happened minutes ago very consistently, asks the same questions over and over,
He calls me 3-12 times in a normal day, often feels he’s been abandoned because he can’t remember when he last talked to me or any basic details about my life.
He can’t remember the right key, the right floor for his apartment/office, etc…

He currently lives with his spouse, who cares for him.

However, he doesn’t want to give up or sell his company because It is his whole identity. Realistically, he can’t function properly and the other employees have to babysit him somewhat while he's at office. I’ve tried to convince my father to sell the company before, but he will never want to give up the company.

I believe someone is suing the company now to try to get him removed (I’m not sure yet where that will lead)

I’m not sure what to do here . I do have power of attorney; However, I have been told that he essentially has to be in almost a coma for me to actually do anything because the bar for incapacitation is incredibly high. Also, there’s the issue that he is in denial about his dementia and he will never want to quit his company. He realizes he is forgetful, but he refuses to accept just how bad or how consistent his condition is. He is so forgetful that he can’t remember he’s always so forgetful.
Anyone have any ideas or suggestions? Thanks!

MN Chickadee

Have you consulted an elder law attorney in the state dad resides? That would be priority one to navigate next steps and use your POA.

Also look up anosognosia. It's different than denial. It happens when a PWD's brain is to the point it truly cannot comprehend its own deficits. Most people with dementia get to that point and will never then understand the need for help or the need to make certain decisions. This is when we have to find work arounds and therapeutic fibs because logic and reason are useless.

hmsmith

Thanks! We had talked to the person who drew up the Power of Attorney papers and she said that we would need a note of incapacitation from a doctor. This was maybe a year or two ago. At the time, she sounded skeptical that a doctor would be willing to declare him incapacitated with only dementia. However, he has gotten somewhat worse since then. So yeah, probably worth discussing with his doctor about getting a note about him being incapacitated.

jfkoc

Read the document carefully...it may be a Durable POA with no determination of capacity needed.

If needed certainly talk with his Dr. asap.

Dementia is a bonafide reason for incapacitation. I wonder if the attorney was a certified in elder care.

A pending lawsuit will require you to act immediately.

Emily 123

Hi hmsmith,

A diagnosis of dementia and inability to perform IADL's or ADL's would mean that your dad lacks the capacity to run the company. It sounds like you should probably discuss with his spouse and an elder law attorney in order to protect your dad's assets, which will be needed for his care. That consultation should be paid from your father's funds since you would be acting in his interests to straighten things out.

https://americancaregiverassociation.org/2019/03/adls-and-iadls-2/

If he doesn't have a diagnosis then now is the time to get one. If that's the case, you may not want to tell him why he's going for a doctor's visit. Many of us get our loved one to the doctors for assessment by telling them it's due to a new Medicare or insurance requirement. We alert the office as to the purpose of the visit and the behaviors we see beforehand, and let them know that the loved one will think it's a regular visit.

This is a helpful article to read:

https://www.smashwords.com/extreader/read/210580/2/understanding-the-dementia-experience/Medium,Arial,Black,White,One-and-a-Half

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