Sadness when self-aware of decline, but perhaps bliss when not aware?

dancsfo

It was sad when my mother became aware of her decline in memory, and she cried on my shoulder. She forgot where she left her house keys, and after looking everywhere, it was in a kitchen drawer. Not long afterwards, she lost her checkbook, which was right on the dresser. After these episodes she became very sad about her condition.

Now, I think there has been subsequent decline, but on the other hand, she doesn't feel bad about it and did not have crying episodes about it.

Perhaps she is more accepting of the situation, is more careful about putting things away where she can find things, or perhaps I have taken care of things so there's less of a chance of losing things. Who knows, but perhaps there is some bliss is "being ignorant" of the situation.

Of course, there are other problems with the decline, but I wanted to share how sad it can be when one discovers it, and that there may be some calmness when one is no longer upset about it.

Note: This is my first post.

SDianeL

My DH is still in the knowing and sad stage with anger and agitation. He is having hallucinations at night almost like sleep walking and one morning he said "there wasn't anything was there" and I said no you were dreaming. He had tears in his eyes. I cried. This is heartbreaking and terrifying. I want the calm but not the progression.

zauberflote

Hi @dancsfo and welcome to the best little club nobody ever wanted to join. You will find a wealth of knowledge and support here

My mom's sad times came later, after she'd had to move out of her sweet and gracious apartment to AL. But since I would come from out of town to visit, she'd be overjoyed to see me, and only briefly sad if she'd woken up "wrong". Those episodes stopped, thank goodness.

@SDianeL how awful for both of you, I'm so sorry.

My mom's PCP put her on a tiny dose of, now I've forgotten-maybe Seroquel, to help with depression and anxiety. I think in the long run it helped her.

At some point, many with various dementias will have anosognosia, the inability to realize there is anything wrong or off about them.

CaliforniaGirl-1

My LO is also aware and very upset about what she has forgotten and because of the dementia, she keeps realizing this and can never get used to it.

Quilting brings calm

Mom had a very hard time when she realized her limitations. She got very depressed for many reasons, including that. mirtrazipine and sertraline have helped. Currently she is getting occupational therapy at her AL, which consists of memory games etc. She thinks she’s doing well at them/ I don’t contradict her.

GothicGremlin

I'm so sorry for all of us and our LOs.

My sister Peggy was like this in the beginning as well. There were a lot of tears as she realized she kept forgetting things and losing abilities - like being able to drive her car.

Now, she'll occasionally mention that she forgets words or "sometimes I can't do things", but she doesn't know why, and she's not upset about it. Anosognosia. I just tell her none of us are 20 years old anymore. That'll usually get a laugh from her. Humor is my secret weapon with her. If I can just get her to laugh, her mood changes almost immediately.