My Dad thinks he needs to go to work

lilcrunch

My father gets up in the middle of the night and thinks he needs to go to work at the business he previously owned. This started at 3:30 this morning and my mom even took him a drive to show him the store was closed. I suggested she bring him on to our house so she could lay down and get some rest. What are some ideas to get through the confusion where he is insistent on leaving the house?

M1

Welcome to the forum. Rational arguments (such as showing him the store) are not likely to make a difference here. I would talk to his docs about medications to help him sleep through the night. Sleep fragmentation can be part of the disease, depending on what parts of the brain are affected, and medication could really make a difference here.

harshedbuzz

Hello and welcome. I am sorry for your reason to be here but glad you found this place.

This behavior isn't all that unusual in dementia. Many PWD seem to time-travel to the past when they were working- a career position or parenting littles. My dad's riff on this was to wake my mom up and try to get her to go to her job because even with dementia he was a bit of an SOB.

When my friend's mom woke sometime between 2-3am to start her day, it was critical that my friend was there to redirect her back to bed immediately after going to the bathroom because if she didn't, her day began. She managed this using a motion detector pad and an app on her phone. For a time her younger son was at home working PT between college and grad school-- he was a night owl who would do Oma-duty until about 2 when he'd pass the phone off to his mom who'd retired right after dinner.

Her mom's doctor did give her an SSRI to improve anxiety and sleep. An atypical antipsychotic was offered but my friend declined. My dad did take one because of his anxiety, aggression and fractured sleep, so we didn't deal with early wake-ups too often.

If you can't get a handle on this with interventions and medication, you might consider hiring an overnight aide or taking a couple overnight shifts with dad so mom can get some rest.

HB

lilcrunch

Thank you for the ideas and feedback. We’ve taken turns with some overnights. It’s so unpredictable when it’s going to be a rough night. My approach is usually to change the subject or reassure him that everything is all taken care of, but that doesn’t always work (especially at night). We’ll definitely check on medication options and also try the more immediate redirect. I really appreciate the support! Hugs to patients and caregivers.

Ci2Ci

Perhaps employ a therapeutic fib: 'The store is closed this morning for maintenance. We'll check back later.'

MN Chickadee

A sleep medication or other behavior medication may help the nights go more smoothly, do consult his physician. My mother was getting up to start her day around 3 am and adding a med for sleep made an enormous difference. It wasn't 100% but she slept through the night most of the time which was enough for us to get by. When he does get into these episodes, whatever time of day, you will have to soothe and re-direct. Tell him the car is not working but you can go when it's fixed. Or there is a storm coming so lets wait or whatever reason you can't go right now and distract to something else. Sometimes a ride in the car will reset them and they will forget about it and move on (though hard at 3 am.) Reasoning with logic is unlikely to help.