Memory Care Discussion - Financial Exploitation

helene1957

Looking for suggestions on how to encourage a family member to go into a memory care facility. Although she is very good with her activities of daily living, she has been exploited financially by someone posing as her best friend. I think we now have that situation under control, however, we feel she can no longer live alone as she is a prime target for more exploitation. Her geriatric doctor has also encouraged a memory care support facility, but she is refusing to go.

Iris L.

Someone should be managing her finances. The first step is for her to give power of attornet to a trustworthy family member. If she is unable to sign and give consent, she will need a guardian. Also, freeze her credit accounts. You need a consultation with a CELA (certified elder law attorney) to manage assets. This is just the beginning.

Iris

helene1957

Thanks for your help, Iris. We have already taken all of those steps. Any advice for what comes after that?

M1

Welcome to the forum Helene. If you have power of attorney, you do not need her consent to move her. Few people make this move voluntarily. Most have anosognosia (you may want to Google it) in which they think they are fine. Most of these moves--be it to assisted living or memory care--are undertaken not only without consent but without discussion. Such as, taking her to the facility on the pretext of going out to lunch, and then leaving it in the hands of the staff. Or: if you feel obligated to say something, say the house/apartment has a gas leak/radon exposure/ sewage problems that are going to have to be repaired, and I've found this nice place for you to stay while the repairs are done. If the move is from a hospital, you can say it's for rehab (that has worked with my partner).

It is not easy, but sounds like you are doing absolutely the right thing.

helene1957

Thanks much for sharing this information. It's good to know we are not alone in this.