New to Forum: Introduction 👋🏻

SMorch_

Hi all,

My partner was about 26-27 when she started to realize her mother was having difficulties recalling basic things. We are 31 now.

Her mother lives independently (alone) and does not know what is happening. My partner is more or less her mother's only family. My partner's sister, her mother's other daughter, lives on the other side of the world. My partner has not talked about this in-depth with her sister at all. While they get along, they all kinda keep their thoughts and emotions to themselves. It is just how their family operates. I have been encouraging her to talk to her sister, but I also don't want to mess with the dynamic of their family, that is not my place.

Many people have contacted my partner to tell her they are worried. Her mother's neighbors, her accountant (who is sort of an old friend in a way). We are wondering why her physicians have not done any memory testing, as she is also over the age of 65.

I want to help and support my partner in any way I can, so I am reaching out for her (with her approval and encouragement). I guess right now I just wanted to get some thoughts out there and see if anyone has some advice or wisdom they want to share. I can provide more context as it becomes relevant.

I should mention, there is some weirdness surrounding my relationship with her mother. We have never gotten along, and at this point in time, I more or less have no relationship with her to keep the peace. However, I care about her and I am very worried for her.

jfkoc

A diagnosis following correct protocol (you can google) is imperative. Treatable causes must be ruled out.

You can print out info for your partner and let her do the follow through with the PCP.

SMorch_

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/187682#Comment_187682

Thank you for your response and great advice.

I don't know what kind of filial rights my partner has to have these discussions with her mother's PCP. She also does not know who her mother's doctor is.

M1

If people in the mothers life are reaching out, that's a huge red flag and things are probably worse than you realize. They probably feel that next of kin need to know and to take action-and if you don't, their next call may be to adult protective services. That's especially true if the accountant is concerned. Your partner should probably talk to that person first, and then perhaps arrange for a prolonged visit to get a sense of where things really stand. She may need to talk to a certified elder law attorney about getting power of attorney for finances and healthcare, or pursuing guardianship. If adult protective services gets involved, you may not have a say in what happens next.

The doctors may have recommended testing but she refused. You need to learn about anosognosia-its a common phenomenon, she doesn't realize she's impaired.

Sorry you and your partner are having to face this at such a young age.