Reaching Out!

avieDa921)

Hello, I am a new member and reaching out to help relieve my stress that I'm going through! My DH has had Alzheimer's for 6 years now, us being married 54 years and retired 20 years and within the last couple of months he is not recognizing me all the time. It starts late afternoons lasting until bedtime, which I found out is called "sundowning." When I am someone else it is his & his mother's house or his & his wife's house, so it is challenging to convince him I would like to spend the night and have my girlfriend pick me up early in the morning. He is now starting to not recognize me during the day sometimes, follows me around wanting to help me with things. If it was me, he would not be following me around wanting to help! ☺️ He is now on Seroquel for anxiety, was on Lorezapam, which caused an episode of anxiety. I know things will get worse as time goes by, just trying to keep my sanity, venting! My prayers go out to those who have worse situations than mine.

darcytg

Hello avieda,

Glad you found your way here.

There are great people with lots of experience here. Great place to vent, share your fears & grief, and challenges.

Welcome.

avieDa921)

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/192924#Comment_192924

Thank you!

DCCEPEK

This is a very informative group. You are where you need to be. These are challenging times. My MIL just started the medicine too. She's stage 6 maybe 7. It's about to suck the life out of us. I see people laughing having good times and wonder if me and hubby will ever get back to us. 40 yrs April 1st if we make it. It's been so long since we've had time for us. MIL has been first and foremost. We're here til the end.

Jgirl57

Also happy you are participating here! It is definitely a weird feeling when your LO stops recognizing you and loses details of your life together . My HWD/Alz asks me several times a day how long we have known each other and really has no clue how or when we met. He looks at our wedding picture and asks “ Is that you?”. Sundowning for us includes the daily ritual of saying he needs to clean out his deceased mother’s home. ( she passed 30 years ago) . So far closing the curtains and turning on lights helps and I tell him we will talk about it tomorrow . When this stops working I will seek additional medication . Right now it’s just donepazil and a recent increase of Zoloft.

l7pla1w2

I live in the house DW and I bought 40+ years ago. We eat and sleep together, and I am around the house almost all the time, although not always in the same room. She is probably Stage 4-5. These are some frequent questions and remarks:

It feels like I haven't seen you in a long time.

Where do you live?

Would you like to move in with me?

Where do you sleep?

Do you want to sleep here tonight?

I've lived in this house a long time, mostly alone for awhile now.

Are we married? [40+ years] How is that possible?

How come I didn't know that?

I've never done that.

I don't think I've ever met them.

I've never been here before.

jillsr

So, I am also at my emotional breaking point. Maybe we all are! My 59 yr sis is stage 6, and we moved her to memory care 4 weeks ago. I have become so obsessed with how she is doing that I have a hard time doing and/or doing and enjoying any other activities. I also can't seem to get a handle on keeping the tears from streaming down my face. (Definitely not enjoying that part of this grieving process!)

Anyhow, I am looking for an in-person (or zoom) weekly meeting so I can feel a connection to others and hopefully feel some relief and support through listening to others experiences)

Mimi50

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/192926#Comment_192926

That really sucks that you don’t have much time together. My DH was diagnosed year ago with VD. He is still in the early stages. Not much progression. Obviously I know with the type of dementia he has that can change very quickly. Apparently I have some health issues of my own. In two weeks I will be 51. So me being able to drive is something very important. Went for routine eye exam and now have to see ophthalmologist. They couldn’t dilate my eyes. Because they are not draining. They think that I might have glaucoma. Usually doesn’t happen to people under 65. But in this family nothing goes as it usually should. I am mad at myself. My young adult son and husband need me. Too be healthy.

Mimi50

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/192935#Comment_192935

My husband is on Zoloft. It has helped.

neeta

Suggestions please.

My DH has dementia. He is 78 (we'll have been married 54 years in April) and I have been having home care a couple times a week for my respite, He has mobility issues and recently his language has decreased quite a bit. He is also incontinent. I have said to him and looking ahead that if he cannot walk (now uses a walker) I will no longer be able to take care of him. He has difficulty getting up out of his recliner, but chairs also. Some days are better than others. I live in Maine. So yesterday I went to visit a "Memory Care" facility to get some information. They informed me that this was residential care/assisted living. Beautiful place and only local place that I would consider, but I only plan to place him if he can't walk, and they said they would help him, but my concerns. Anyone know what type of facility I should be looking for. We live in our own home.