Need help but don't know what to do

drew15599

My grandfather is 84 years old and has had dementia for years now but has recently been declining rapidly so I moved him into my house where my mother takes care of him. He has hospice care so nurses show up twice a week to asess him but thats the only care they provide .She quit her job because he needs fulltime support and the social worker had implied there's a state program that would help us with care and a possibility of a nursing home if we couldn't continue taking care of him. He was denied for the program because of a 10 thousand dollar life insurance policy and now we are stuck in a position. Mom needs to go back to work but he can't be left at home and his condition has somehow worsened he falls constantly and is combative he can barely walk but tries and falls half the time. He hasn't been lucid in what seems like weeks. Our social worker had no options for us he basically just said sorry about your situation. We barely make enough to take care of the bills let alone pay for a nursing home what do we do?

DCCEPEK

I feel you drew, my husband and I both had to retire early and it sucks. So ready for this to be over for us and MIL. Stage 7 somewhere with her. You doing all you can by taking care of em.

Anonymousjpl123

I would call the Alzheimer’s association hotline and ask for referrals to lawyers and services near you. Struggling to make ends meet, you should be eligible for some form of care - unless there are mega assets you are not tapping into. It’s exhausting but trust mw worth it to get the support. I am so sorry you are struggling with this. I know others will chime in. I think there will be access to some form of Medicaid or other benefits if you can get hold of the right person. Hang in there: I know this is a lot.

JeriLynn66

800-272-3900 is the Hotline number. Ask for a Care Consultant.

Dani W

I’m going thru something similar. Mom had Medicaid and was with this program called Innovage. After several years they decided mom made too much money. All of $200-$300 more than their criteria. So she became ineligible for that program and Medicaid. I am in the process of appealing their decision. It’s all a bit much and being the sole caregiver for my mom has been emotional, mentally, financially draining.

Home Care and a Nursing facility is outrageously expensive.

Anyways, I feel you!! Wish I had a suggestion, but I’m in the same dilemma.

towhee

If the life insurance policy is the only problem, there are ways around that. I am surprised that the social worker did not tell you. State rules as to what you can do are different, so check with the social worker or an elder lawyer before you do anything. Some lawyers will give you a free or discounted first session, check with your state or local bar association. What social services is counting is probably the cash (surrender) value, and not the death benefit value. So you might be able to cash out the policy and spend down the benefit. Or keep the policy but take out a loan for the cash value which you then spend down or convert part or all of it into a prepaid burial plan or some combination of these. I hope something works for you.

Quilting brings calm

Yes, what Towhee said. Google life insurance and Medicaid. You can also make the funeral home the owner of the policy.