Getting my LO into bed

sslocum

My LO is in late stage dementia. She can no longer stand without a walker and assistance. Getting her into bed requires lifting her off her commode chair and, while holding her up, pulling on her pull-up. I then lift her onto the bed. She often resists or slumps in my arms. There must be a better way. The pull-up is a real challenge most nights.

Any advice? Thanks in advance.

Kibbee

My DH has a neurological disability and as his strength and coordination waned, it became increasingly difficult for me on my own to transfer him from commode or wheelchair to the bed. Eventually things deteriorated to the point that his neurologist approved a lift, which for us has made all the difference.

Since DH can no longer stand up on his own, underwear changes happen only when he is on the bed. He has a hospital bed, so I start by having the bed flat. DH can still raise his butt, so I ask him to do that and then the dirty underwear can be slid off. Pertinent areas are then cleaned. New underwear are then pulled onto his legs, up to his thighs. At that point I have him roll on his side, facing away from me, and have him grab the bedrail to hold himself in place. I can then pull the underwear up on the hip facing up. The move is then reversed and he rolls towards me, and I pull the underwear up on the other hip. Sometimes we have to repeat the side to side roll to get the underwear fully into place. I also use the side to side roll to remove or replace the under pad, or his shorts.

ButterflyWings

@Kibbee 's process worked for me when caring for a LO without dementia. A stroke resulted in being bedridden, but they were able to understand my instructions and help just as described above. Conversely, DH cannot comprehend what I am asking him to do, so he cannot cooperate in this way. Like @sslocum, lots more pulling and pushing with him to change him while standing or lying down but the hospital bed allows for sliding, using an under-sheet for leverage to move him around without causing any skin breakdown or irritation.

Hospice CNA's and nurses taught me everything about transferring safely, changing, lifting, and bathing someone who cannot even move. FYI, I did use the diaper-style incontinence wear for both LOs with success though we are currently back in pullups with a very absorbent pad inside that is the only thing I change out (multiple times every day) with a thorough sponge bath of hot-spots with each change. No need to hold DH up while slathering on barrier cream and pulling on the pull-ups or trying to coach or tug him through taking his legs out of the briefs and his pants, and back on etc.

Have either of you had your LOs evaluated for hospice support? It does not mean they only have 6 months left to live but that they are declining and may be eligible for added support to improve safety, quality of life and reduce wear-and-tear on the caregiver. With PWDs the criteria are different and the timeline can be much, much longer. I really recommend it for the stages it seems they are at. The supplies (like the lift if needed, the miracle pad inserts, hygiene supplies, hospital bed, broda chair, rollator and/or wheelchair, etc.), meds and weekly home visits from a CNA and nurse etc. are all provided and are covered via insurance, VA or whatever your system is. There is just so much support.

mommyandme (m&m)

When mom couldn’t tolerate getting up and down off the toilet anymore, I changed her in bed. The recliner, even though it could go flat, wasn’t conducive since there wasn’t enough room to roll over to get things clean. We switched to tabbed adult briefs (diapers) to make the changing and cleaning easier in bed. A standard bed is a back breaker when doing that, the hospital bed made caregiving so much better for me, being able to raise it and for her to hold the rails while rolled on her side. Going back and forth to the bedroom to change her was cumbersome for us both, getting in and out of bed, in and out of the wheelchair and in and out of the recliner each time. After I moved the bed into the living room it soon became clear she really didn’t want to go anywhere or be moved, bedbound she was from then on. Moving her in and out of bed to the recliner was actually for me I realized, helped me think her decline wasn’t as bad. Accepting then adjusting, not resisting those milestones, gave me peace.

I hope you find the solution that works for both of you. Sorry that you’re traveling this path.

jfkoc

Please have her Dr send out an occupational therapist to instruct you on this and other things.

sslocum

Thank you all so much. We will try these suggestions.