Just need to talk to my friends (194)
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Caro Lynn, I also am 24/7 caregiver for wife, but have started the ladt few years bringing someone in to help where I can get out a couple of hours. At first I took her everywhere; just picture me at the store pushing her wheelchair with one hand and pulling the buggy behind me with the other hand. At first I stayed with her when I brought the sitter in until she felt at ease with her. Now if the sitter isnt available, i can ask a church member to stay with her. I guess with her it was just knowing i wasnt leaving her. She also gets mean at times, but later, sometime its days, but she always gets better and apologetic.
Ron
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Hi to all,
Caro-Lynn, I was a 24/7 caretaker also. Our journey lasted 8 years, I was able to keep him home for the entire time. I did have help from hospice for the last 6 weeks. I did have to put deadbolts on the doors to keep him from wandering after he went outside a couple times. I would do it again if possible. We lived in a suburb of Chicago, I now live with my son and DIL in Virginia. This is a wonderful site and everyone is very helpful. Ask anything, it’s a safe space.
It’s been a strange week here, it was 80 degrees Monday and Tuesday, today 40 with snow flurries.
I read everyday and keep you all in my prayers. I’m adding a picture of one of the rescues, it’s Ducky checking out the daffodils.
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Take care and have a good night.
Sandy
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Hi Sandy, did Ducky eat the daffodils? He's cute as a bug's ear. Are the horses and mules getting along all right? You did have a drop in temps, didn't you? It has been cooler here the last couple of days- should say it has been cold. Good to see you post. Hope you're doing okay and sleeping well. The house looks so pretty with the lights on. Talk to you in a few days. Stay well. Oh, how's Petunia?
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Sandy, when you said you use to lived on a suburb of Chicago, I was reminded of when Lou and I first married. Her brother lived in a suburb of Chicago and after buying our 67 Mustang we took a trip to see him. He had given me directions, but having a new wife and mother in law in the car with me, they began to tell me where to turn. Needless to say I ended up in downtown Chicago and thought I'd never get out of there. Never listened to them again when driving!
Ron
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Hi all.. Happy Birthday Iris.
I’m busy keeping up with therapy and buying and selling houses. I close on my new house tomorrow morning. I have movers scheduled for the 17th, so am staying at my daughter’s house until then.
I’ll catch up reading in a few days. Take care. I’m praying for all of us. Hi back to Mint and all on here. Joan1 -
Hi Joan, congratulations on closing on your new home. I bet you're excited. I know you'll be glad to get moved in and settled. Moving is hard for me. I moved from my parent's home to the apartment Charles and I had, then to the travel trailer, then the mobile home and finally back to my original home. Not a lot of things to move but a change anyway. Hope that's the end of it.
Been thinking today. I looked at the pretty pastures, green again with black cows and their babies grazing. All the trees leafing out and I just don't know if I can sell. It will be so very hard. Even if I continue to live here the farm will no longer be in our family after 88 years. Sorry, didn't mean to get into that but it's on my mind.
Ron, I had a Wimbledon white with blue interior 1965 Mustang. Loved it but injured my knee and had to get an automatic. Wish I had it now.
Good night, everyone. See you in the morning.
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Thank you, everyone for my birthday wishes! I got a slow start today because I was up late last night.
Ducky is so cute. The whole area looks lovely and peaceful.
Iris
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Good morning
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Good morning!
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Good morning! Got up at 2:30, but layed back down and didn't get up till 4. Feel so much better!
Ron
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My good sleep didn't last long. I slept for three hours, then woke up, wide awake. I took a sleeping pill at 1:30 am, almost two hours ago, and I'm still wide awake.
Iris
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Leave it in a living will for Mike if that is who you want to have it. Bill put our house in my name in a living will and I did not have to pay taxes on the inheritance. That way it will be yours until you die. If you don't the state may end up with the property and could even decide and sell off sections! Just thinking of ways for you to be in charge of the land. I'm going through probate and can't do anything until it is finished!
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It's 6 am and I'm still wide awake. The sleeping pill had no effect.
Iris
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Morning, looks like a pretty day. Guess I'll go ito town and go. By the dealership to.have them.check the sound I hear in the car,'s motor and pick up groceries from 1-2. Weather is going to be iffy after today for a while.
Shirley , Mike and I have talked about a lifetime estate so I can be here as long as I want. It would be just as it is except ownership so guess it would be okay. Hope you are getting settled in.
Iris, listen to some Zen music for sleep. There's dozens of different ones. Really relaxes me.
Ron, glad you're feeling better today- been a long week for you.
I don't want to go anywhere but today is the best day. About those eggs, I cracked and froze four last night. They were still perfect! They're brown eggs and I think the shells are thicker than white ones.
Today is Charles' 93rd birthday.
Judith, are you up and at 'em?
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Yes. Up and at'em. Early appointment then to bank and then meat market. They make their own sausage and andouille as well as some deli items. It is a meat store that has been in the family for 3 generations and going strong.
Paper shredding this afternoon.
Had an appt with my cardiologist. Long story as to how I got one…nothing that I know of wrong with my heart but he does want to do an echo something or other. He is a darling man from Ireland who got his medical degree from John Hopkins. He said that the neuro I had picked was one of the top in the country. He is from Brazil. My PCP is from Wisconsin. No one from here…unusual.
The lawn is a beautiful green and all of the trees are at least budded out. Time for bedding plants.
BTW….cardiologist said that a 20 minute walk 4 times a week was the best exercise. I did move stuff I use every day away from my desk just so I will have to get up more.
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Thanks Lorita, Sandy and Ron for sharing your caregiving journeys. Even though my LO is my former partner, I just can't imagine him being anywhere but home.
That's a great picture Sandy! Captures your beautiful homestead and the adorable Ducky.
Happy Birthday in heaven to your Charles, Lorita xo
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Can the donkey join us on the porch???
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Ducky is adorable.
hope everything went well today Joan.
How did trip to town go Lorita?
I went to the country and got eggs. Looked like things were growing in the green houses. Came home and filled my car up with gas. Now hope i can hunker down and stay in place til the astro nerds leave town. The gas out on the main road has went up a bit this week. I get mine off from the main road a ways. It was a quarter cheaper. Guessing everyone is trying to make an extra buck off the travelers. Ive heard that all kinds of different places are setting up to charge for parking spaces.
Hope i’m not repeating myself, but I don’t think I told you this yesterday. If I wasn’t lazy, I guess I could look back and see what I wrote yesterday. When I was going to moms yesterday on that same road where I saw the crepuscular rays not long ago I could see the sun shining back behind the clouds. Then, like for just an instant one of the clouds moved a little and I could see the moon and it was right by the sun. And I thought I just seen why we’re having an eclipse. It seemed odd them being so close to each other, and I could see them both at one time . Well I really couldn’t see the sun. It was back behind the cloud, but you knew where the sun was. This morning when I went over to get my sister to go out to the Amish, I take the same route, but it was very cloudy. You could see where the sun was behind the clouds, but I didn’t see the moon. The clouds were too heavy to see the moon.
Do have mom Sunday and Monday, hopefully the back way will be ok. Suspecting that new neighbors may move in this weekend. A garbage canister showed up a few days ago. My nephew is in the process of moving this weekend to about an hour north east of here. I hope people that need to do things this weekend are able. I did tell my nephew that I could help him this Saturday, but he said that a friend and his fiancé are helping him. The friend is bringing his girlfriend and so he didn’t think he needed any more help. I probably wouldn’t be a lot of help anyways at moving anything very heavy but I thought I could clean.
Lorita is there something you have against a will where you would leave things to Mike at your death. With a will, it would be yours until you died. The will would not go into effect until after your death. I had never heard of a lifetime estate until you mentioned it on here. When I looked it up, it looks like if you go with a lifetime estate it becomes difficult to do certain things such as sell your home or refinance your home and some things you would even have to get the permission of the other person to do certain things. There’s none of those strings attached with the will, it would be yours until you die. You can do anything you want to with it. I know you would like for it to stay in the family but as far as I can tell that’s impossible. So I guess my thought process is that the next best thing is for you to know that it’s been left in a way that your family would like for it to be left. To do that, takes getting it into writing and as I well know something can happen to us anytime. What do you see as advantages of the lifetime estate over a will? I’m just wondering because like I said, I don’t know a lot about them, just what i briefly read. I know it’s hard that all of this has been left in your lap. Know you probably wish your parents or Charles were there to help you with the decision. Guess I just feel like if you would do something then you could become more settled about it and not have to worry about it. Think your family would be satisfied with whatever your decision is as they know you’ve thought about it and done your very best.
Hope everyone has a good night
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Mint and Lorita, there is a type of Life Estate called a Lady Bird Deed, it will allow Lorita to retain control of her property until it is passed on to the beneficiary.
Mint, will you have a good view of eclipse where you are?
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Looked up the Lady Bird Deed. Only available in 5 states and Oklahoma is not one of them as far as I could tell.
They say we have the possibility of having a good view of eclipse. It is weather dependent though. 3:12-3:15 pm is time for total eclipse and approximately 1:30-4:30 time of partial eclipse beginning and ending. I have bought no glasses so I guess I won’t be looking at it. The population of my rural county is 125,300 - the largest city’s population is 48,000. They’re saying, hopefully they’re just getting excited, but we could have up to 200,000 extra people in our county this weekend. if that truly happens, I’m not looking forward to it. Each year there’s a tattoo concert that draws about 75,000 and I just stay away from that part and it doesn’t really ever affect me. I don’t even know the people are here. I’ll be glad when it’s over with and things return to normal. A lot of things are closing down on Monday so they made themselves a three day weekend. Can’t blame them can you? Always nice to find a reason to get a three day weekend.
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Right Mint, I wasn't sure in what states it was available, thanks for checking. Like you, I avoid crowds when at all possible. I rarely leave my zip code.
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After I posted about staying awake this morning at 6 am, I fell asleep until 11:20 am, so I did get some hours. I did my morning routine in the afternoon, then called my east coast cousins to ask them if they felt the 4.8 NJ earthquake, which they did. Then I went out to do a few errands, including stocking up on pee pads at the 99 Cents Only store for my blind cat Simon, so I can place them around the litter box for him. Then I came home and spoke with my brother, who had had a procedure yesterday. He's okay. He thought the earthquake was a strong wind shaking his high rise building. That would be some wind!
Lorita, I am listening to the zen music right now. I'll see what happens tonight. I feel wide awake now.
Iris
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Good morning
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Morning, glad you got some sleep, Iris. I listened to lots of different Zen music until I found the right one.. The one I like has a picture thst looks like peach blossoms. There's also one of flat rocks stacked and a rolled up towel - both are the same. Really helped/helps me to relax.
That earthquake was really something. I would have been scared to be in a high rise and felt it shake or move.
I just fed Gray Lady and closed one gate and opened another for Toad to come tbrough. Gates, Gates and more gates, Judith.
Morning. Mint. Nope your day goes well. Caro and MInt, about the life estate. I think that:s what it's called. What I was told is I'd sell the land and house but it would be in the contract that I could live in the house and keep it repaired until I needed to.leave or passed away. Whomever would own it but I would still live here. There was a living estate to the home Mike bought across from us and he had to locate the person before he bought the place.
I'm going to get things together and talk to the attorney and will ask him about it. I want to sell instead of bequeath so my money for the farm and what else I have will go to the twelve charities I.contribute to each month. I guess as long as I'm here it will seem.like mine. He has leased three years and fertilized and sprayed so it wouldn't be too different. I doubt he would mind me doing whatever I wanted to.
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Good morning porch patrol.
Iris- I am sorry for your sleep issues. They can be so frustrating.
Lorita- Any update on Sarah? I hope she's settling in at home with some support from home health.
Mint- I don't envy you the influx of visitors. Given the weather I'm seeing forecasted, I wonder if this'll be a bust. We went down to SC for the 2017 eclipse. We had 95% and it was sort of "meh" because it was so overcast. My BFF is pumped for this even though we'll only be around 90%. She volunteers with the mission to do a meal on the Parkway in Philadelphia on Monday afternoons and they're concerned they'll be booted because the Franklin Institute is having a big eclipse event nearby. She even bought glasses.
It's kind of you to offer to help your nephew— one always needs a cleanup at both locations around a move. I hope your next day with mom goes smoothly.
Crazy day here— 30 miles south of Whitehouse Station, NJ— yesterday. It started with the earthquake. This was the third quake I can recall. I slept through the first (DH and the cat woke up) and was driving DS the second time didn't notice. Yesterday was creepy— I could feel the floor move and it was loud. DH thought there was a helicopter overhead. It felt like it rattled a long time even though it was only 30 seconds. I have a friend who was on the tarmac at Newark during the ground stop. She's from Long Beach, CA and was rolling her eyes.
It occurs to me that earthquakes are to those of us on the East Coast what a snowstorm is in the south. CA is giving us the side-eye.
I took mom to the Rite Aid, beer store and Costco. She had to look at, sample and touch all the things in Costco which meant we were there almost 2 hours. She bought a random collection of strange things. A dozen croissants, new pillows, the food service size aluminum foil ("a lifetime supply" she said brightly) and 15lbs of fresh fruit. She's a menace with a cart as she has no depth perception. I avoided her tagging me half a dozen times, but she got me good on the way out. "No good deed…" indeed.
My niece was taking her out for an early dinner and met us at mom's house. I left them and got halfway home when the phone rang. Her phone. Gah. I had to circle back and drop it off, but I still managed to get home by 5pm.
DS is working an 11-hour shift, so it'll just be DH and I knocking around the house which is always pleasant. It'll probably be pizza and salad. I'm not a fan of warmed-over takeout pizza, TBH, I like it bubbling right out of the oven, but it'll be great to catch up with friends in a quieter space. As a bonus I get to hang out with her cats and visiting grandson.
HB1 -
Good Morning! Yesterday was a busy day so I've had to spend some time here catching up! We sure are a busy bunch of folks! 🙃 Sometimes I imagine what it would be like if we were able to actually sit together on the porch and it makes me smile. I love it when the kids come and we sit on the patio just to visit. Seems like those are the best days. Food, family and fellowship. That's exactly what we have here and I'm grateful for that. DH went off on his own yesterday which meant I had the house to myself! Got the laundry done, all the floors swept, vacuumed and mopped, dusted, hung some pictures in the office, moved all the knick knacs off the kitchen counters and cloroxed everything and rearranged the dining room area.
Then my Granddaughter came over and we planned our sight-seeing visit to NYC (we leave Thurday). Ran to the Tax Accountant to sign returns for myself and my father in law, Then manicures. Then got takeout for dinner for everyone. I went to bed at 7:30, slept till 2, went back to sleep in the recliner and now up at 5 for coffee. I have a facial in town at 10 and then taking another Granddaughter shopping for the day. I might be tired already, lol.
It's been sunny but very cold with a biting north wind. Frost was predicted so we covered the flowers and raised garden beds the last two nights. Hopefully this is the last of that.
Lorita, I understand your concern regarding the farm. I feel the same way about my place. I've done the Living Trust with a transfer to my children after I'm gone. I know they will sell the property and house. My oldest is a single Mom with one child grown and out and one in college, so this is too much for her to keep up/manage. The other is a sort of neighbor to Mint, she and her family will not move back here, though it would be perfect for her horses. But not for her DH. So I just tell myself to be at peace. I've honored my parents and grandparents by living here, improving the land and caring for it. That's all I can do. In another generation, no one will really remember my grandfather was the top Grade A dairyman in the State. That's sad to me but it's reality. But I know. Well, that got a little sad, didn't it? Didn't mean to. It's life. Like others have said here, I think if you just bring yourself to make a decision, you'll feel better. Feel settled in your heart.
I've yakked on too much. Time to get up and go start this day before it gets away from me. Thanks, dear Friends, for listening. Have a wonderful day.☺️
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I am up and so are the frogs! Glad my first tap syrup delivered yesterday.
For those of you who are participating in our annual Maple Syrup Challenge, you may be happy to hear that the frogs woke up from their winter nap on Tuesday April 2nd! Every year, the frogs waking up is a reliable signal that that the sugaring season is almost over. They only wake up after the ice is off the ponds, and the sun has warmed the earth. This is a good indicator of how warm the roots of the maple trees are and in general, where we are in the spring cycle for the trees budding and the tap holes drying up. When it gets close, we visit the pond next to our old 1880's sugar house. The structure is still standing, and we boiled maple syrup here from 1980 to 2014. The floors are made of crushed stone and the walls had half in gaps in the boards that let snow blow in. As a kid, this is where the school bus picked me up and dropped me off during the sugaring season. So many wonderful memories of this place! The pond out back is small, but deep and very cold, fed by a mountain spring. When I visited on Tuesday, I parked my truck a little ways off from the pond as the frogs are so alert that they will go silent as soon as they hear a twig snap. I took a video as I crept up to the pond, so if you would like to hear the spring chorus you'll find the link below. I must have made a noise as I approached and before I could even see the water they all went silent. So is the season over? Well... that's the big question. The sap quality is no longer very good but the trees are still running a bit of sap. We got 18 inches of snow over the last few days and didn't collect very much sap. We decided to dump what we had as it wasn't looking promising. Over the next couple of days we will get good freezes and if the sap runs we will need to make a decision.
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Morning again , HB,talked with Sarah yesterday. She's home and is beginning her tube feedings. She will do that for a couple of weeks and if it doesn't work she'll begin the TPN. She says her arms are black and blue from them trying to find veins but she is happy to be home. She was going to try to get to the dentist to have sutures removed .
Called Darwin to check on them. He had been to town and was tired so was going to lay down and rest. He goes early while Donna is still sleeping.
Saw something really cute this morning. Toad fed here first and when he went up to the MH to feed, the girls hurried up there. I looked out and three little calves were going up together. They would walk a little way, then stop and play, pushing against each other, butting heads. I looked out where the heifers are and saw two little guys doing the same thing. Yesterday when I passed Darwin's girls, there were two babies in a big pushing match- heads against each other. Guess it's sparring time. If is so much fun to watch the babies playing.
JeriLynn, it is so hard to give up owning a place where you have lived so long. I have been on this farm for 79 years. I know where there are low places and where the cattle trails are. Used to ride my bicycle in those. They're the right width and are smooth from them walking.in them. There's a place by the pond that makes a little pool when the pond runs over. When I was little I would go there and watch the tadpoles swimming. I don't want to leave here so guess they'll have to carry me out. I have asked Mike to find a home for the GPs if something happens to me. Need to ask him about the cat family.
Caro, that was so sweet for you to wish Charles a happy birthday up in heaven. I cried when I read that. His birthdays are hard for me. Our 53rd anniversary will be the 22nd. Can't believe it has been that long.
Looks like SE Okka. Is going to.be pretty cloudy for the eclipse Monday. Fewer clouds here where it will be 98%.
Beth, I just ordered four of the plants the Monarch butterflies like. I haven't seen one in a long time. It said 90% of them are gone. I hardly ever see any butterflies. Probably because of the spraying they do in pastures. We used to have lots of wildflowers. Back later.
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Good news all round for Mother and Son-in-law medical appointments this week.
Mother has had ear problems for about 2 months since she had some virus…PCP unable to fix with meds so ENT visit yesterday seems to have it on the mend…did lancing of ear drum…removed fluid…and placed a tiny tube to keep it draining while doing antibiotic ear drops. Relief was immediate with better hearing.
Son-in-law neuro visit earlier in the week had good news…just a few more blood tests and sleep apnea test to get done. No restrictions. Will be back to work next Mon.
Thank you all for your prayers and good thoughts for them. It has been a rough month but can't complain when the results are so good.
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Iris…I was wide awake for 36 hours until last night. Really wierd.
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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