Just need to talk to my friends (195)

ronald71111

Had a nice visit with Lou! She is doing so much better, I hope they let me bring her home before to much longer.

Rockers that are still in the path of severe weather next few days, I'm praying for you and also my son and his family in MO.

Ron

Iris L.

Good afternoon, we're in Oklahoma! It's pouring down raining! On the way to Tulsa.

Iris

jfkoc

Ron…Lou may be doing better than you are emotionally. Please take this time to refresh yourself!

Lorita

Iris, I thought you were going to OKC. It has rained all day here,not hard but steadily. I still need to take down the trash and open the gate but I'm still in my gown and robe. Iris, what highway were you on?

Iris L.

Lorita, I don't know the highway between Dallas and Tulsa. Here are some long horn cattle at Fuel City in Dallas. We spent some time at the Philbrook Art Museum in Tulsa, then had dinner. Now resting, getting ready for bed.

Iris

Mint

Good morning

JeriLynn66

Morning : Warning - this is LONG

FIL has begun pocketing food and getting strangled when trying to swallow while eating so I am concerned about aspiration. He is so confused, his speech is garbled, he is in pain so cannot participate in therapy. They don't seem confident about medications or interventions on the Orthopedic Unit.

I discovered the afternoon before he fell inside the facility, he was retrieved from outdoors walking toward the road. He was confused. They returned him to his room. They did not call me. Then he fell and broke his hip. I'm angry and upset.

I'm torn between is this post-surgical and hospital delirium, combined with progression? Will he be able to clear and return to pre-surgical status? Probably not. I did request a Speech Therapy swallowing eval for today. (how in today's world do we still NOT have speech therapy available on weekends?)

Should I get a referral to Geri-Psych or just ask for more time in regular inpatient hospital setting? Or go on with Skilled Nursing and plan for Memory Care and Hospice? If he can't do either of those, I do have a place for him in a private setting that I believe can provide safe care, with Hospice.

I'm just stewing and worrying, and my mind is spinning. The Nurse in me says just settle down, stay calm and wait. You can't have all the answers when you don't even have all the questions yet. And you just have to be nimble enough in each situation to respond to the moment.

I've done this 1000 times for other people and families. And done it well as a Case Manager. I'm struggling for objectivity and in the face of lack of leadership/skill from the medical/nursing staff.

I re-read Bill's "The Calvary isn't Coming" yesterday. You folks are MY Calvary.

Have I missed anything? Am I thinking right? Is there more that I can do?

ronald71111

Morning

Mint

JeriLynn what happened could and probably would have happened even if he was at your home. It happens when someone is right there with them even. The nurse in you is giving you good advice. Many people on here have said the book Being Mortal helped them a lot. I have not read it.

Agree with your observation that an orthopedic floor is not comfortable with intervention and medication’s for someone like your FIL. This is not their specialty. Their specialty is fixing the hip and getting that rehabbed. If a specialist you think could help manage your FIL is available then maybe they could be consulted and help get things to where he could work better with rehab but maybe not too. Just a thought but I am thinking if I were in your shoes and it was my mother, I would probably ask for palliative care or hospice evaluation.

Once speech therapy evaluates your FIL, if they are unable to do anything to help him then you’re going to have to make a decision about what route you’re going to choose to go. So that’s going to be something to be thinking about also. Has there been any point in your father-in-law‘s life where you’ve ever heard him say what his wishes would be in certain situations? If you have, I know that’s some thing that you would have to consider but if you haven’t then you probably need to listen to the nurse Talking to you . Know this is a huge responsibility because I think I remembered you saying you’re the only person he has left and that’s why you’re in this position.

reality is there is a huge lack of speech therapist, physical therapist, respiratory therapist, echo techs etc. So that is reality of today. They definitely have to have their days off and their vacations or there’s even going to be fewer of them. One of the reasons there is a lack right now is because many of them like me retired before we were retirement age because I had saved to do that because I seen that I could not do this as I got older it’s too stressful.

David1946

Good morning

Lorita

Morning. Going out to feed Gray Lady, then will be back and read.

Iris L.

Good morning, all! I'm in Tulsa, heading for the Will Rogers Museum, lunch, then the Vintage Sewing Machine Museum. The weather is cool and overcast, not rainy.

JeriLynn, I agree, away from the hospital environment will be better for your DFIL.

Iris

Lorita

JeriLynn, you have so much to think about and consider. Mint's advice sounds good. Iris, you're in Oklahoma in time for an afternoon and night of severe weather. I'll be so glad when we get out of this severe weather time, then it will be hot and humid. Be careful and enjoy your day in Tulsa. Where do you go from Tulsa.

Lorita

jfkoc

here…

Caro_Lynne

JeriLynn I know you will do the best thing for your DFIL. Making those kind of decisions is so difficult and more so when it involves a loved one. ! I dread the day when I will have to make those for my LO.

Iris, sounds like you are enjoying your trip! Safe travels. Do you belong to a group that plans your trips and travel on a tour bus?

Ron how are you doing? Did you attend church yesterday? What's the latest on Lou?

Lorita, we are so dry here in Florida, my lawn is turning brown. Guess I'll turn on the sprinklers later when it's not so hot. We're supposed to get some rain next week, we'll see. Weatherman's guess is as good as mine LOL. Hope all your critters are staying dry.

Hello to everyone and hope we have a great day xo

loveskitties

Hope all can stay safe during these turbulent weather days.

Busy here. In the process of doing 2 special afghans…one as a raffle for the benefit of a family whose son had a serious injury during a basketball game my grandson plays in, and another for the boy himself. He had major break in leg and is bedbound for a while after surgery.

Also have granddaughter's graduation from community college this week, which means going to Mother's to get her (1 1/2 hrs each way) so she can attend. Afterwards have to take her home so she and I can attend funeral of one of my cousins the next day. Biggest issue for me is all the driving to make this work but no one else is available.

Living alone since Smokey is gone has been an adjustment for sure. He was a loving kitty and I sure do miss him.

Ron, hope that you are taking care of yourself as you wait for Lou to come home. Hope she can do that soonest.

Iris, sounds like you are having a great trip even with the iffy weather. Stay safe.

The gardens you all have are beautiful. I wish I had the energy and resolve to do more with the few flower beds I have, but it a major effort just to keep the weeds out.

Jerilynn, hope that your dear FIL improves and that the decisions you must make become clearer for you.

Wishing all better health and great days,

Marie

David1946

I hope everyone is o.k. because of the storms. My prayers go out to you.

jfkoc

JeriLynn…We try so hard to fix the unfixable.

Your FIL has had major surgery and an tramatic change ti a hospital. All of this is recent.

From personal experience I do not think a hospital is a good place for someone with dementia. I can relate a couple of horror stories. Please have someone with him 24/7.

Additionally I would just switch to soft good and not put your FIL through a swollow test at this point.

I do not see how speech therapy can help at this point. Maybe later.

I would think very hard about getting him out of the hospital to a place where he can get the best one/one care. You could have therapy come to him.

I went back several pages but did not find where your FIL was when he "escaped" and fell.

Sorry to be so blunt but ……

jfkoc

Iris…..Good for you for spotting a longhorn.

Do not worry about the weather. Enjoy whatever show mother nature puts on for you. The storms can be breathtaking and if there is a tornado all precautions will be taken.

I know you enjoyed the Philbrook. It is beautiful. How about that glass floor?

I have never been to the Will Roger's Museum…Pawhuska. You will be in lots of prarie. Let us know how you like it.

What is your return route? Amarillo and then south?

Caro_Lynne

Marie so sorry about the loss of your Smokey - they are our children. Glad you are staying busy with family events. xo

Lorita

Judith, do you have a safe place to go in case of a tornado? Central Oklahoma is in the highest risk tonight for all kinds of severe weather, even mentioned softball sized hail which will move east. We have that big cellar but I won't go down there by myself. We go into the bathroom which is in the center of the house. Quite a job to get the pyrenees , three cats and myself in there but better than the cellar.

Judith, the Will Rogers Museum is in Claremore. We've been there and it's really nice. They have a big statue of him inside.

Iris, when do you go to OKC? Hope if isn't btiday.

Marie, I know how hard it us to lose a sweet companion. I was so sad when I lost Kitt and Barclee but still had the Pyrenees and soon had another cat to go with Max and then kittens. Have you thought about getting another one? They are so much company and calming sometimes.

Doing laundry and a load is almost dry. Don't like the sound the dryer is making so may have to look into that. Always something.

Lorita

Looks like it has begun. An interrupted line of super cells has formed in far western Okla. Everyone keep a weather-eye. Guess it's going to be another long night for weather people, storm chasers and everyone else. Prayers for everyone in the path of the storms.

Caro_Lynne

Lorita, looks like some serious storms from east OK up through Kansas and Nebraska! Praying for all in the path xo

ronald71111

I'm also praying 🙏 for my friends in the path of severe weather.

Had a good weekend visit with Lou, seemed so much better. Today was OK, but didn't seem as good as she was over the weekend. Saturday and Sunday both was very talkative, but not as much today. Was told that the dr sees her in the morning and might be able to come home Tuesday evening or Wednesday morning.

Don't know what to make of my sleeping. I'm usually lucky to get 4 or 5 hours and last night it was 9 hours. Guess it finally caught up with me!

Ron

Lorita

Ron, You're feeling better about Lou and worrying so much so you can relax and sleep. Do hope she gets to come home soon. I'm happy she's doing so much better.

The bad or worst weather may not get until after 10 or 11 so I don't plan to watch until it gets closer. Our weatherman's talking about the storms scares Sheena. She has heard about the storms and is already on alert. Praying the storms won't be as bad as they think.

jfkoc

really windy now….going to be a late night!

Iris L.

I had a great and busy time today. It's late now, I have to get up at 5:30 am, still have to pack a few things. I'll post more tomorrow. We go to Pawhuska, then to the airport. No OKC, no Amarillo.

Iris

ronald71111

Morning

JeriLynn66

morning