POA and Uncle who is mad and is threatening to change it

lbay36

Hi everyone. My sister and I are new to taking care of our Uncle who has dementia. My Aunt (his wife of 70 years) died last year. We have started seeing that he is declining. He says he has a million dollars in a bank that consumers can't even have accounts, he just went out and bought a brand NEW truck for 65k in cash and says he is fine. We have POA but today he got mad at us and went to an attorney to try and change it. Anyone know what we can do?? We are so lost on what to do and how to help him. He will NOT leave his home even though the dr said he needs assisted living. He is angry and delusional. At what point will attorney's not allow him to change the POA? The whole point of a POA is so someone can work on your behalf when you can't make good decisions, if they can change it so easily what do we do???

M1

Welcome to the forum. Sounds like a mess. Do you have medical as well as financial poa? Sounds like you need to discuss things urgently both with his doctors as well as with a certified elder law attorney. You might start with the attorney who drew up the poa if they are still around, and i would read the document very carefully to see if it requires activation/"springing" by a declaration of incompetence, or not (durable poa typically doesn't). If you need an attorney well versed in dementia, look at nelf.org for lists by location.

If you don't have medical poa, you also need to find out if you have HIPPA privileges with the docs. If you don't, you can give them information about his condition, but they may not be able to respond back to you directly.

Keep us posted, you have come to a good place for advice and support. BTW one of the things you could do right away as poa is freeze his credit with all three agencies. That may not prevent cash purchases but might save you other trouble.

Disable the truck, too, if you can. One thing you can do is put a steering wheel lock on it.

Theres a name for the "thinking he's fine"- look.up anosognosia.

H1235

Do you know the name of the attorney? I would suggest you gather and document as much information as you can about his symptoms. Do you have a copy of something from the doctor saying he needs assisted living? These things might be used in some way to stop him from making a change to his POA. Can you get access to bank account information? Do you have social security number? If he is not tec savvy, you could create online access to his account to get started. It would at least allow you to see what kind of shape his finances are in. When my mom signed the legal documents I was really worried they wouldn’t allow it, but they did. Everything was straightforward and expected. I wonder if they might question things more when trying to take the power away. Sorry I couldn’t be more helpful.

CaliforniaGirl-1

If he is delusional and no longer competent then he should no longer be able to change the PoA. Call his attorney and express your concerns. If he is going to try and change the PofA you may need to get a lawyer involved and get conservatorship. Do you have a good Elder Law Attorney you can ask for advice? If you have a medical proxy you could talk to his doctor. If you don't have a medical proxy and the doctor can't tell you anything, it can be helpful to say you understand that but you want to express your concerns.

I forgot to ask, do you have the actual physical signed PofA?