Looking for my Care-Giver Peers with Spouses with Early-Onset ALZ Denver Area

ArvadaHusband1963

I am a 60 year old man living in the Denver area. My wife was diagnosed with early onset at age 53 in 2020. I have attended our local monthly group but it gets so crowded and rarely is there enough time for serious discussion. It is emotionally draining and hard to find coverage so I can attend the meetings at the time they have them. I am more of a "Let's get coffee" person.
Even messaging can be helpful.

Hope5757

Hello again @ArvadaHusband1963 -

I am a DIL caregiver and not at all close to Denver but wanted to encourage you to find virtual support here.

It’s genuinely a safe environment. The members are supportive, encouraging and kind.

There’s also a private messaging option.

Are you caring for her alone? Do you have any family support?

nancyj194

Hi Arvada husband, My goodness, I live in Arvada and assume you have been to the support group at the Arvada United Methodist Church. It has been overly crowded for some years, now. I no longer go, because we rarely had time for serious discussions. There were just too many of us. I also have not felt comfortable leaving my husband by himself, so mostly I find posts on here that are similar to my situation and read those.

On Thursday, I am going to go to a doctor appointment for myself and have my 15 year old granddaughter stay with her grandfather for the hour while I am gone. I am hoping it goes well.

My DH had fairly early onset in his mid to late 50s, but no one took me seriously when I said something was wrong. He retired from his engineering job when he was 60 because he could no longer do CAD and started getting lost when he went somewhere. .

Now he is soon 85 with a steady slow progression. I am his only caretaker with the exception with our son and DIL who help out now and then and hopefully our granddaughter this summer.

We might be on different pages, but I am always willing to talk and share my journey.

M1

Welcome Arvada. I too think that you may find this group as helpful as any in person group-- that's certainly been the case for me. Even though not in real time, it's always available and never too crowded. Hope it helps.

Jeanne C.

The lack of social life is hard. I'm incredibly lucky to have an aide for my husband and sisters who come down at least once a month (even though they both live in different states). It still gets lonely. I was able to find a smaller in-person group about an hour away where almost everyone is is in my age group (mid 50s) with earlier onset partners. I hope you're able to find a smaller group or maybe make a coffee friend from that larger group you've attended. Welcome to this group. Everyone really is kind and helpful.

Iris L.

Search for Mr Toad and the dementia movie group that he started. You can do that too.

Iris

mpang123

nancyj194

Arvadahusband, I am good to have coffee sometime. We should be able to figure out a time and place that would work for us. If you work from home all day, are you not available during the daytime hours?

My husband repeats here, here, here and there, there, there thousands of times a day.

Nancy

giltf69

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/69291/looking-for-my-care-giver-peers-with-spouses-with-early-onset-alz-denver-area

My husband of 10 years had early onset dementia when I met him and was just in the early stage but he was an amazing, kind, and loving person and I'm lucky I got 10 years. I was his sole CG and was with him to the very end, which was October of last year. I don't know if I am who you wanted to hear from or not but as exhausting and stressful as it was, I would do it again. Actually I am, because my mom got it before he passed so I cared for both of them for 4 months. Now I am cg for my mom and a cg paid to go to people's homes to help them so they can remain independent, both.

giltf69

What I meant by actually I am, is that I am doing it again by caring for my mom now and others.