New to this forum and wanting advice

yelracnitram

Hi all. My dad has has been suffering from Parkinson’s Dementia about 5 years now. From my understanding (and anyone can correct me if you have better knowledge than me) it is a little bit different from regular Dementia in the sense that it won’t cause him to pass but his mind has deteriorated in much the same way. Over the past two years he has had a very rapid decline and can no longer do anything for himself and is unable to communicate his thoughts in an articulate way. I have been away at college for the past 4 years so I have been able to avoid it for the most part but my grief is starting to catch up with me. My dad was my best friend and my greatest supporter and it breaks my heart that he cannot be here for me in this very transitional period of my life. I lost my mom when I was very little and while it took me a while to process that, it was a grief that I understood because she was had died. Grieving my dad is another story. I have no roadmap for how to navigate this. My typical response to any pain is to just pretend it’s not happening but I know that will only make my grief harder to deal with in the long run. Does anyone who has been through this or is still going through it have any advice? I know grief looks different for everyone but any tips on ways I can help manage my stress/anxiety, ways I could still connect with my dad, or support groups you’d recommend would be appreciated. Even if it’s just a kind word, anything is appreciated as I am struggling right now.

harshedbuzz

Hi and welcome. I am so sorry for your reason to be here but glad you found this place.

FWIW, this is the least-visited board on the site; you may get more views and replies on the more general caregiver board. Unlike a lot of forums, this isn't a place where others will chastise you if you are not in your "assigned" place.

Your situation is uniquely awful with the complication of dad (presumably) and you being too young for this, the distance and not having the support of the other parent. Do you have any sibs or aunts/uncles with whom you can process all of this? Are their local support groups in your area?

I would encourage you to call the 800 number and ask for a "care Consultant". These are highly trained people who can answer questions and may have resources appropriate to your situation.

HB

SeattleChrista

your situation sounds overwhelming on so many levels. My best piece of advice is to get in a support group. Seriously. No matter if you or haven’t accessed such a group in the past, getting support from people who will understand your challenges is just so critical. You can participate as much or little as you want, but I can tell you that my heart lives for that hour a week where I feel safe and seen, get much needed support.

Sending you big love.

jfkoc

I have a lot of experience in this area.

Dementia is an umbrella under which there are many kinds…some treatable.

Your father needs to be under the care of a neurologist who specializes in Parkinson's. Your father will have drugs to treat that illness and believe me that is not easily done.

The drugs commonly used for the treatment os Alzheimer's are not goin to be the same ones to help your father.

Has anyone mentioned Lewy Body Dementia???

Grief has a life of it's own. We each react differently to it but it is there with every loss we suffer. To be losing your father is brutal. You are going to need to make peace with the grief you have. It is going to be with you a long time but not with the same intensity. The day will come when it will walk by your side.

Please feel free to message me.

-Judith