Just need to talk to my friends(201)

Lorita

Morning, very cold here this morning but sunny and calm. Supposed to warm up this weekrnd. I know I complained non-stop this summer about the heat so guess I will do the same about the cold. The house is cold. All of us slept in the bedroom last night and with the heater in the adjoining bathroom it was okay. Got up and turned on the LR stove and got back in bed. I don't leave the propane stove on at night because of the cats so it takes a while to warm up. I have a couple of electric heaters but need to work on getting the one I leave on in the LR figured out.

Just ordered a pair of fleece pajamas that looked so warm. Really love fleece.

The input was wrong again on the bedroom tv this morning and, Sandy this morning that tv has closed captioning on it and I didn't do it.

Hope everyone is well and warm this morning

jfkoc

JL…interesting food;

https://honest-food.net/bierocks-recipe/

David…what a great bed. I bought and electric bed for my husband but will not use it now. I fear it sprtixing out on me in the sitting up position…lol

eaglemom

God afternoon everyone. Goodness, everyone has lots going on.

Oh my gosh, Bierocks. My grandmother made the best ones. She said "the secrets in the pan." I never understood if that meant she used a special pan to cook the meat up in or, its a secret and she's just not saying. Sometimes when we go home I'll bring some back. They freeze so well. DH won't touch them, so more for me!

I've declared my tree / house done. There is more I could do, but I'm choosing to not. It's just fine how it is. Simpler is better, that's going to be my new motto going forward.

Now DH and I are going to play a game. I'm not sure which one, he's in the game closet picking one out. See, doing something simpler……….

Be safe out there. Back later, after the game or games!

Iris L.

Lorita, when I was a child my mother sometimes turned on the stove burners to warm up the apartment. But I have learned that this is not a good idea, possibly due to a chance of carbon monoxide poisoning. A propane stove might be different, because our stove was powered by natural gas.

Iris

Carl46

I erred the other day when I bought hearing aid batteries without reading the label to see they were in "child resistant" packaging. Each battery is sealed in hard plastic. The instruction says to cut them out with scissors, but my really sharp bandage scissors wouldn't cut it, so I had to carve the tiny things out with a knife, very carefully so I didn't lose a finger. A person with hands more arthritic than mine would have to throw them away and buy new ones in more accessible packaging. Lesson learned, read the labels.

Carl46

Lorita, I am eating well and sleeping warm, and I am grateful for it. I remember as a child placing the blankets on my bed so the hole in one didn't align with the hole in the other, so I don't take comfort for granted. Those fleece PJs sound great. I have a couple of fleece zip down sweatshirts, and they are really comfy over a long-sleeved T shirt.

Mint

Good morning everyone

David1946

Good morning all, hope you have a good Saturday. Its a slow day at the VA no activities are scheduled do to illnesses hope the volunteers are feeling better.

David1946

My hearings have stopped working am waiting to have them checked out.

David1946

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/230492#Comment_230492

What is a Bierocks?

JeriLynn66

What is a Bierocks? @David1946 It's a hand-held meat pie made with cabbage/hamburger/onion mixture into a dough then shaped into a hand pie. My husband's Mother was German and she made these. So, I'm going to try to make them for DH.

Lorita

Iris, my.parents used a warm Morning stove for heat when I was growing up. A pot bellied stove that burned coal. When we moved. Back to the farm from living in town a year, they changed to propane. Charles and I were total electric in the MH but propane in the farmhouse. A few years ago we had a big leak under the house, It is a wonder we didn't get blown up.. The propane company realized we were using too much propane, had it checked and found the leak. Almost everyone in this area uses propane. You don't smell fumes but I do have a carbon monoxide alarm and you have to have a window partially open to give it aur to burn.

Much warmer this morning and sunny. Supposed to be a nice weekend.

Carl and David, Charles wore two hearing aides so I know what you guys are going through. I have quite a lot of hearing loss in my right ear, too.

I love fleece anything, Carl. It's lightweight, very warm and launders well. I have broken out the thermals and they feel great.

Lorita

Those sound like the fried pies daddy used to make but his had fruit inside.

Mint

My grandparents used warm morning stoves.

Iris L.

Good morning!

Carl46

Well, now I ran down the car battery using an electric tire pump. I know better than to do that without the engine running, but I did it anyway. I think I need a keeper, but AAA will do for now. Fortunately, it is lovely weather today so the tow trucks aren't busy, and I wasn't in any great hurry to go anywhere.

Carl46

Good morning, Iris. Thanks for the term biphasic sleep. It sounds a lot better than "messed up."

Lorita

Mint, do you remember ever putting your feet against the Warm.Morning stove to get them warm? That is while the stove was warming up. I do, with socks on for sure.

Sorry about that, Carl. I used to have one you could pump up with your foot. We have a big electric compressor we have used to pump up tractor tires, Gator tires, etc. Really comes in handy. We have always made good use of AAA, too.

Mint

Carl I think it’s called stress. I’ve been there done that.

you know there’s been a lot of threads on here about loved ones getting involved with other people in the congregate setting that they are in. If you remember my mom asked a guy to marry her before getting in the congregate setting. She didn’t even really know him but she thought she did. Everyone was her best friend if they were just being nice and human then they were her best friend. If I ever see the man out somewhere, I want to thank him that even though my mom did that he was still very kind to my mom and he was always special to my mom and I appreciated that. On her birthday sometimes he would bring her a treat.

Part of the reason for my mom doing this I believe was she was looking for a knight shining armor to take care of her. She has even mentioned that to me since she’s in AL. They don’t really as you know see themselves as they are. So I think that’s part of it just like when they talk about home and they’re actually looking for safety of when they were a child. I think it’s the same type of thing.

Something I picked up on with my mom just in the past couple of days is how childish she is. I hadn’t really realized that before. Guess I was just too much in the middle of all the chaos then. Now I can stand and look on from the outside. I don’t have to deal with it. This could also easily be the cause of these behaviors of making friendships there. No one should take it personally, though I do understand why it is somewhat. They would like their spouse back as I would like my mom back.

Yesterday when I went to visit my mom, they had sat a lady on sofa with mom that appeared to have dementia .

The poor lady talked almost nonstop, but even when I understood her, it made no sense. My mom kept finding reasons to ask the caretakers to move the lady including that the lady had took her throw. If she asked my mom a question directly, my mom would just put her hands up in the air and say I don’t know a little irritated. I felt sorry for the poor lady. I told my mother I said mom, be patient and be kind to her. She told me don’t you try to help her. The lady eventually did give the throw back to mom and then mom said to me it needs to be washed. Anyways guess I’m saying it’s no wonder these things happen. These thoughts came into my mind as I was reading a thread today. Guess I’m rambling but i’m thankful for the caregivers where my mom is and for feeling like I can safely come here and ramble. Thank you.

jfkoc

off to training at the museum…

David1946

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/230568#Comment_230568

Sounds delicious.

Lorita

Goodnight, everyone. See tight.

Lorita

Haven't gone to.bed yet. Watching The Highwaymen concert on our PBS station They were so good together. I have seen it a number of times but always watch again.

Darwin went to town this morning and he told me a.nice thing that happened to.him. He had gotten his groceries and went out to put them in his pickup and a young girl came over and asked if f she could put his things in the pickup for.him.. He declined but thanked her. That really touched him. He said he guessed she thought he needed help. He is sort of frail. I told .him there are lots of good people in the world.

Iris L.

Lorita, we used to put our cold wet stockinged feet on thr apartment radiator to get warm. Those were the days!

Iris

Carl46

Mint, you are right. Stress impairs rational thought. All I was doing was inflating the tires because the weather had cooled, lowering the pressure, but I have lived with stress for so many years that it is like traffic noise. It is always there, as a psychologist described it, "severe and unrelenting."

Humans are social, like dogs. A psychologist told me once that the three needs for mental health were work, play, and someone to love. I am not surprised that people in institutions form relationships; I would be surprised if they did not.

I remember visiting my mother in NH during the last few years of her life. She was proud to introduce her son to her peers when they were sitting together in the dining room. One lady in particular treated me as a guest in her home, always offering me a drink and being very welcoming. She had forgotten much, but not her manners. I was about 70 then, and some of these ladies were about my age. If I were a resident and not a visitor, I am sure I would have friends by the end of the first week.

Every so often I meet a man who is desperate for someone to talk to. Some of these men are accompanied by women who appear to be wives with dementia. Not long ago, I left DW in the car while I ducked into the dairy store/burger joint for a single item, and a man accosted me. Before I could get a word in edgewise, I had learned his work history, the status of his health, what he paid for his hat, and more. When I told him I had to run because my wife was waiting, he said "Well, that's a nice way to get out of talking to me." Meanwhile, his wife had taken a seat in a booth without even looking at us, as if they ate there often (like daily). I might have gotten DW from the car and visited with them if he had invited us, but since he essentially called me a liar, I had no desire to do so. Sad.

JeriLynn66

Good morning,

I'm happy to report the Bierocks were a hit. But they were NOT pretty. I'm going to make another batch today and try to improve my "dough" shaping technique.

Also reporting the Christmas decorating is one mantle/fireplace away from being done. Today is the day! Then wrapping presents for the great grands and stuffing cards for all. It feels good to be close to having the "work" part done and being able to just enjoy the kids as they open gifts.

DH is a happy man. The dogs and goats are scampering on the banks of the pond and able to access 3 of 4 pastures. Jackson the Billy goat is in the 4th pasture with 2 lady friends, and he also is one happy man/goat. LOL

DH went yesterday to take down another carport structure that was reinforced. He will place that in the pasture by the pond. Then, all pastures will have shelter from the wind, rain and cold. He's worked really hard. One of the great grandsons went with him to help take down the building and they had a really good fellowship. This grand isn't very outdoorsy or hands on with stuff like this. But DH told me he showed him how to use the power screwdriver.. the young man proudly bragged to me in private "Granddaddy really needed my help today, I'm glad you called". So, it was a good day.

Hope you have one too. 💖

Mint

Good morning

Lorita I would have never put my feet on that one morning stove lol. I remember my poor sister fell into that stove at least twice and got burned. I felt so bad for her. I was very cautious of that stove.

Carl, I enjoyed your post. I can see that you do have a very high level of stress. I remember your comment about heart pounding syndrome. As soon as I read that, I knew what you meant, and now that’s my name for it too, perfectly describes it. For me, I have not suffered from it so much the past couple years. I hope at some point it lessens for you too. I do still get overwhelmed with anxiety sometimes, but I’m trying to do better with that also with God’s help.

When my mom first went into AL she would tell everybody this is my daughter Mint, and she is my POA. One of the aids told me she always says that.

a week or two ago I ran into a lady who her and her husband who both were coworkers of mine in the past. Her husband worked in the same department as I did and he was about my age. Her husband had a lot of health issues and was really starting to go downhill even before I retired. I asked about her husband and she told me he had been in a nursing home since July and she didn’t believe that he would ever get to come home. She is four years older than me but she is still working. I’m guessing some of it has to do with her husband’s health issues and that they are self paying for the nursing home which is much higher than quotes I’ve heard people say on here. I forget exactly how she said this to me but I said back to her no one wants to hear it and you need to talk about it over and over again. She said that’s exactly right. I told her I understood that, I had the same feelings due to the situation with my mother. I never had talked to her a lot at work she was in a different department. I did offer her my phone number and said you can call me anytime and talk, I will listen. She didn’t take me up on the offer. She did tell me it was her birthday and after I got home I thought I should’ve offered to take her out for lunch for her birthday. I felt bad that I didn’t do that, I should have.

JeriLynn It’s not about how it looks, It’s about how it tastes. I’ve eaten things that look beautiful, but they did not taste very good. Some things that look a little rough are delicious. Your story about DH and his grandson made me smile and felt my eyes being a little moister at the same time. It made both of their days. Glad you had a good day too.

Lorita Your story about Darwin was also touching. Thank you for sharing it too. It’s encouraging.

JoC thinking of you and your grandson. Joan you too. Ron wonder about you also. Caro_Lynne hope you are ok too, we haven't heard from you in awhile.

Bought my yearly Poinsettia friday. It makes the winter months a little more cheery and bright.

Take care everyone

harshedbuzz

Good morning.

I hope the day finds everyone well. It's been awfully quiet on the thread with many regulars missing.

Carl— it's the stress. You are acting as the frontal lobe for an entire family unit which is a lot. The "youngs" would call that mental load. Your joke about the 3 broken bones made me giggle. When I was dealing with knee pain that didn't respond to PT or injections, I had an MRI that showed the history of the abuse it had taken over the years that I probably walked off. It probably would have been quicker to list the things that weren't wrong with it.

David— DH is really tall, too. He's shrunk a bit since we married and is now only 6'5". I made him a pair of pajama pants for Christmas and had to draft another 5" to the inseam or he'd be wearing pedal pushers. Clothing is a challenge for you I bet.

I'm glad you were able to get a bigger bed. It's something to think about if DH ever ends up in a hospital bed. He's too tall for most medical equipment and supplies. When we went to the derm for a skin check, the gown offered was mid-thigh-length on him. It's a midi on me and hits the floor for my mom. And when they did his MOHS, he was hanging off the table which was really uncomfortable. They were working near his tearducts, so it was a long and meticulous procedure done in 3 sessions. I felt so badly for him.

Jerilynn— The Bierocks sound great. I do love some German food which isn't always easy to find. I think we're down to one German restaurant in the general area or a trip into the big city when we need a fix.

I envy you your organization. I still haven't got any trees up or lights outside (I only tossed my door corn and pumpkins yesterday) or wrapping done. I had to make a Costco run for gift wrap and the dollar store for boxes. Perhaps today. I want to steam clean the dining room carpet before I start in there. DS left his damp grip on the floor and it stained both the rug and the curtains. He is why I can't have nice things.

____________________________________________________________________________________

DS's car is in the shop again. Master cylinder this time. The part should be delivered tomorrow— fingers crossed. My car is going in for an oil change between DS's Psychology final and Chemistry lab. I do hope that can be done in a timely manner. Meantime, he'll have my car again this afternoon which is impacting my ability to wrap up my shopping and help mom get hers done. She doesn't buy for many, but shopping is her passion and love language.

I did anticipate this and took her to the nice mall to shop. It didn't go as well as I'd hoped. She was unusually winded for her. I don't think she's fully recovered from her COPD exacerbation/pneumonia. She'd probably benefit from O2 and has a spiffy concentrator. When I got her home and checked, her O2 was 92 which isn't great even for her. She was kind of goofy.

She wasn't as focused on crossing off her list as I would have liked. Instead she was looking at shiny things. Literally. We were looking for a wallet for DH and she drifted off to admire sequined separates when the assignment was golf attire for her grandson-in-law. Dad was an avid golfer as was she, so I expected this would be fun for her. Nope.

We ended up at Dick's Sporting Goods where the goofiness continued. She did find a nice outfit that works for a younger golfer and some accessories like gloves. I suggested a golf umbrella and she told me "there is no such thing". I countered that there was. She countered that it sounded like "some kind of gimmick". I was gobsmacked. This is a woman familiar with the game— she actually lived on a golf course when things went sideways. I explained the reason behind a fiberglass umbrella and lightening but I don't think she was buying it. When I got to her house, I pulled an umbrella out of the stand in the foyer to show her one the golf umbrellas she owns. SMH.

HB

David1946

Good Sunday morning all, want to go to church but I haven't got my pass to leave the building yet.

David1946

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/230650#Comment_230650

Growing up I could not wear hand me downs I was so much taller than my 5 brothers my mother went to the local clothing store and had my clothes made special for me. My current wife is very good at sewing she will order my clothes without the cuff and will make them the right length for me to wear. As far as shirts go I can buy them off the rack all my height is in my legs.