Just need to talk to my friends(201)

God afternoon everyone. Goodness, everyone has lots going on.

Oh my gosh, Bierocks. My grandmother made the best ones. She said "the secrets in the pan." I never understood if that meant she used a special pan to cook the meat up in or, its a secret and she's just not saying. Sometimes when we go home I'll bring some back. They freeze so well. DH won't touch them, so more for me!

I've declared my tree / house done. There is more I could do, but I'm choosing to not. It's just fine how it is. Simpler is better, that's going to be my new motto going forward.

Now DH and I are going to play a game. I'm not sure which one, he's in the game closet picking one out. See, doing something simpler……….

Be safe out there. Back later, after the game or games!

I erred the other day when I bought hearing aid batteries without reading the label to see they were in "child resistant" packaging. Each battery is sealed in hard plastic. The instruction says to cut them out with scissors, but my really sharp bandage scissors wouldn't cut it, so I had to carve the tiny things out with a knife, very carefully so I didn't lose a finger. A person with hands more arthritic than mine would have to throw them away and buy new ones in more accessible packaging. Lesson learned, read the labels.

Good morning everyone

My hearings have stopped working am waiting to have them checked out.

What is a Bierocks? @David1946 It's a hand-held meat pie made with cabbage/hamburger/onion mixture into a dough then shaped into a hand pie. My husband's Mother was German and she made these. So, I'm going to try to make them for DH.

Good morning!

Good morning, Iris. Thanks for the term biphasic sleep. It sounds a lot better than "messed up."

Carl I think it’s called stress. I’ve been there done that.

you know there’s been a lot of threads on here about loved ones getting involved with other people in the congregate setting that they are in. If you remember my mom asked a guy to marry her before getting in the congregate setting. She didn’t even really know him but she thought she did. Everyone was her best friend if they were just being nice and human then they were her best friend. If I ever see the man out somewhere, I want to thank him that even though my mom did that he was still very kind to my mom and he was always special to my mom and I appreciated that. On her birthday sometimes he would bring her a treat.

Part of the reason for my mom doing this I believe was she was looking for a knight shining armor to take care of her. She has even mentioned that to me since she’s in AL. They don’t really as you know see themselves as they are. So I think that’s part of it just like when they talk about home and they’re actually looking for safety of when they were a child. I think it’s the same type of thing.

Something I picked up on with my mom just in the past couple of days is how childish she is. I hadn’t really realized that before. Guess I was just too much in the middle of all the chaos then. Now I can stand and look on from the outside. I don’t have to deal with it. This could also easily be the cause of these behaviors of making friendships there. No one should take it personally, though I do understand why it is somewhat. They would like their spouse back as I would like my mom back.

Yesterday when I went to visit my mom, they had sat a lady on sofa with mom that appeared to have dementia .

The poor lady talked almost nonstop, but even when I understood her, it made no sense. My mom kept finding reasons to ask the caretakers to move the lady including that the lady had took her throw. If she asked my mom a question directly, my mom would just put her hands up in the air and say I don’t know a little irritated. I felt sorry for the poor lady. I told my mother I said mom, be patient and be kind to her. She told me don’t you try to help her. The lady eventually did give the throw back to mom and then mom said to me it needs to be washed. Anyways guess I’m saying it’s no wonder these things happen. These thoughts came into my mind as I was reading a thread today. Guess I’m rambling but i’m thankful for the caregivers where my mom is and for feeling like I can safely come here and ramble. Thank you.

Sounds delicious.

Mint, you are right. Stress impairs rational thought. All I was doing was inflating the tires because the weather had cooled, lowering the pressure, but I have lived with stress for so many years that it is like traffic noise. It is always there, as a psychologist described it, "severe and unrelenting."

Humans are social, like dogs. A psychologist told me once that the three needs for mental health were work, play, and someone to love. I am not surprised that people in institutions form relationships; I would be surprised if they did not.

I remember visiting my mother in NH during the last few years of her life. She was proud to introduce her son to her peers when they were sitting together in the dining room. One lady in particular treated me as a guest in her home, always offering me a drink and being very welcoming. She had forgotten much, but not her manners. I was about 70 then, and some of these ladies were about my age. If I were a resident and not a visitor, I am sure I would have friends by the end of the first week.

Every so often I meet a man who is desperate for someone to talk to. Some of these men are accompanied by women who appear to be wives with dementia. Not long ago, I left DW in the car while I ducked into the dairy store/burger joint for a single item, and a man accosted me. Before I could get a word in edgewise, I had learned his work history, the status of his health, what he paid for his hat, and more. When I told him I had to run because my wife was waiting, he said "Well, that's a nice way to get out of talking to me." Meanwhile, his wife had taken a seat in a booth without even looking at us, as if they ate there often (like daily). I might have gotten DW from the car and visited with them if he had invited us, but since he essentially called me a liar, I had no desire to do so. Sad.

Good morning

Lorita I would have never put my feet on that one morning stove lol. I remember my poor sister fell into that stove at least twice and got burned. I felt so bad for her. I was very cautious of that stove.

Carl, I enjoyed your post. I can see that you do have a very high level of stress. I remember your comment about heart pounding syndrome. As soon as I read that, I knew what you meant, and now that’s my name for it too, perfectly describes it. For me, I have not suffered from it so much the past couple years. I hope at some point it lessens for you too. I do still get overwhelmed with anxiety sometimes, but I’m trying to do better with that also with God’s help.

When my mom first went into AL she would tell everybody this is my daughter Mint, and she is my POA. One of the aids told me she always says that.

a week or two ago I ran into a lady who her and her husband who both were coworkers of mine in the past. Her husband worked in the same department as I did and he was about my age. Her husband had a lot of health issues and was really starting to go downhill even before I retired. I asked about her husband and she told me he had been in a nursing home since July and she didn’t believe that he would ever get to come home. She is four years older than me but she is still working. I’m guessing some of it has to do with her husband’s health issues and that they are self paying for the nursing home which is much higher than quotes I’ve heard people say on here. I forget exactly how she said this to me but I said back to her no one wants to hear it and you need to talk about it over and over again. She said that’s exactly right. I told her I understood that, I had the same feelings due to the situation with my mother. I never had talked to her a lot at work she was in a different department. I did offer her my phone number and said you can call me anytime and talk, I will listen. She didn’t take me up on the offer. She did tell me it was her birthday and after I got home I thought I should’ve offered to take her out for lunch for her birthday. I felt bad that I didn’t do that, I should have.

JeriLynn It’s not about how it looks, It’s about how it tastes. I’ve eaten things that look beautiful, but they did not taste very good. Some things that look a little rough are delicious. Your story about DH and his grandson made me smile and felt my eyes being a little moister at the same time. It made both of their days. Glad you had a good day too.

Lorita Your story about Darwin was also touching. Thank you for sharing it too. It’s encouraging.

JoC thinking of you and your grandson. Joan you too. Ron wonder about you also. Caro_Lynne hope you are ok too, we haven't heard from you in awhile.

Bought my yearly Poinsettia friday. It makes the winter months a little more cheery and bright.

Take care everyone

Good Sunday morning all, want to go to church but I haven't got my pass to leave the building yet.