But what if it's something that could be treated?

LaCira

My mother has always been afraid of ALZ because as her own mother aged, as soon as she became moody and forgetful, her sisters insisted this was ALZ and sent her to live in a gross, smelly facility (my mother's words, but not untrue).

Now as she is in her mid-80s, my mother is showing signs of memory loss and potentially ALZ.

The thing is, some of her most pronounced personality traits are traits she had for nearly 20 years, and some longer than that. She's had a victim mentality her whole life, so that's certainly not new but it's gotten so bad. For many, many years she has believed that people get into her home, take random things, move things, disassemble things, rent out the space when they go on vacation...now she believes they must be witches to break in past two security systems and the physical barriers she puts in place each night. She's very moody, and can cry on a dime recounting all the past hurts (again, nothing new actually). I'm so sorry for my 88-year-old father who is living with her. She's convinced I love him more despite my attempts to tell her otherwise, and of course he doesn't believe her and isn't overly compassionate when she tries to tell him what's missing today or that she chased the people around the house last night and why won't he help her??

I say all of this because I wonder: yes, there probably is age-related dementia here, but is it possible some of this could be something else, something a neurologist or psychologist could help with?

I think we should be cautious writing everything off immediately as Alzheimers, because not every age-related issue is. I just wonder if anyone else has had luck with treatments for some of these symptoms, or if I'm just kidding myself?

I can't imagine having to tell her it's time to live in an AL facility. She isn't crazy about talking to someone about her situation now!

ALCB

Hello, @LaCira, and welcome to the forum. I don't know whether or not it is dementia, but I highly recommend seeing a specialist ASAP. My grandmother has always been a bit of a hypochondriac and liked familiar things, but it got so much worse after a botched eye surgery that we assumed it was Alzheimer's (she's not diagnosed—absolutely vexing). Early stage Dementia and Amnestic MCI are often times much more treatable than later-stages dementia. Also, most dementia patients don't need to go to a facility until much later stages. Recently there have been new discoveries in the dementia field, so you could explain to her and tell her that there are now 1) better medications, and 2) better long-term care facilities, if she should need one.

Wishing you lots of luck.

Quilting brings calm

There are indeed things that share dementia symptoms but that can be treated- low vitamin B, thyroid issues etc. That’s we all recommend having your loved one tested for those things. Anxiety and depression can be similar too. What you describe sounds like paranoia - which can be a dementia symptom, or a psychological issue. Medication Helps.

Bluebird

Have your mom see a neurologist who specializes in dementia. There are some conditions that can cause dementia that are treatable. Until a neurologist examines her you don’t know what your dealing with.