Dad not adjusted to care home

Astronomy Geek

My dad has vascular dementia, blood cancer and a head injury. He is wheelchair bound and earlier this year we had to put him into nursing care. Dad is verbally abusive to staff and keeps trying to get out of his chair and bed as he hates the nursing home.The family shares visits so we all get a break. We all feel upset and guilt dad is there but mum cannot manage dad. It takes 2 people and specialised equipment for his care needs.Any advice appreciated. We know dad is angry at loss of his independence.

Quilting brings calm

The truth as we see it is that they won’t be happy anywhere, so all we can do is keep them and their spouse safe. Your mom can’t take of your dad, and you don’t want her to lose her health or life trying to do so. And about 1/3 of caregivers die before the person they are taking care of. Your dad is where he needs to be to be taken care of. Is it possible he might be happier in a different facility? Maybe, maybe not. And maybe it wouldn’t be in his best interest to try to move him.

H1235

Welcome. Happy is probably not an option, but I think it’s reasonable to hope for something better for him than anger. Have you talked with his doctor about medication to help. It can take a while to find the right one and the right dose. Medication does not need to turn him into a zombie. He is in the right place for him and your mom. Im kind of surprised that if he is verbally abusive to the staff that they would not have pushed for medication.