Seeking Advice: Managing Toilets with Dementia Behaviors

Ossom

My father has late-stage dementia and is exhibiting challenging behaviors that are making it difficult to maintain our home. He’s been pouring food down the toilets, which has caused clogs and damage. He also removed the bolts from one toilet, breaking the wax seal, and it’s now unusable. He’s fixated on guarding the broken toilet for hours, preventing us from repairing it or using it. This is becoming a hygiene issue, and I’m worried we may have to resort to temporary solutions like a bucket if it continues.

Approaching him about repairs or trying to fix the toilet escalates his agitation, so I’m unsure how to proceed safely. Has anyone dealt with similar behaviors, like fixation or tampering with household items? Any suggestions for managing the toilet issue discreetly or calming his fixation so we can make repairs? Unfortunately all attempts at accessing urgent medical or behavioral support for his dementia, as it’s currently untreated have been unsuccessful. Thank you for any insights or strategies you can share.

[Deleted User]

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harshedbuzz

This is not a healthy situation for anyone living in the house.

Can you get dad out of the house and get a plumber in to reseat the toilet? Once fixed, reverse the locks on all of the bathroom doors and supervise him when he does go to the bathroom or assign him a bedside commode to use instead.

Medication could be useful at getting him unstuck. My dad was very destructive in the late middle stages as well. He was more into electrical wires and appliances than plumbing though. Meds helped extinguish this behavior.

john813

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/242169#Comment_242169

Really? What meds?

harshedbuzz

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/242333#Comment_242333

Often PWD who get "stuck" can respond well to adding either an SSRI like Zoloft or Lexapro and/or an atypical antipsychotic like Seroquel or Risperdal. It may not extinguish the behavior, but will dial it back to a point where redirection works.

HB

Ossom

He is on No meds. All treatment has been refused.

Ossom

We can't have anyone come to the property since it upsets him.

For the past month we have been using a bucket in the shed for our needs as to not upset the situation.

The police and APS claim our father is fine and unless we can get him to a doctor then we can't do anything to upset our father.

So we continue to wait for the decline. Eventually he will decline to the point where someone will have to address our concerns.

jehjeh

I’m so sorry you find yourselves in this situation. I’m surprised APS says this is ok. My DH “repairs” things with a screwdriver and hammer. With the exception of a couple of lamps, I have been able to put things back together the next time he falls asleep.

harshedbuzz

Behavior is communication. His actions speak to considerable distress that he doesn't have the cognition to process effectively.

Another option would be to allow your dad to get upset to the point of being a threat to himself or others and having him transported to the ER for transfer to a geripsych unit for medication management. If he is the type who would showtime for first responders, record his behavior and threats with your phone.

HB