Seeking Advice: Managing Toilets with Dementia Behaviors

Ossom

My father has late-stage dementia and is exhibiting challenging behaviors that are making it difficult to maintain our home. He’s been pouring food down the toilets, which has caused clogs and damage. He also removed the bolts from one toilet, breaking the wax seal, and it’s now unusable. He’s fixated on guarding the broken toilet for hours, preventing us from repairing it or using it. This is becoming a hygiene issue, and I’m worried we may have to resort to temporary solutions like a bucket if it continues.

Approaching him about repairs or trying to fix the toilet escalates his agitation, so I’m unsure how to proceed safely. Has anyone dealt with similar behaviors, like fixation or tampering with household items? Any suggestions for managing the toilet issue discreetly or calming his fixation so we can make repairs? Unfortunately all attempts at accessing urgent medical or behavioral support for his dementia, as it’s currently untreated have been unsuccessful. Thank you for any insights or strategies you can share.

I_LOVE_MY_MOM

Hello, I am sorry you have to go through this. For me, it's the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I have been taking care of my mom for 4 years now. She had a stroke, which caused the onset of dementia. Currently, I don't know what stage my mom is because she will NOT do an MRI. And I can't force her to get one. So she suffers from delusions and hallucinations as well. Regarding your fathers' condition, I think its safe to say he is having a delusion or a hallucination. Is there a reason why he has to do what he is doing? Why does he dump the food down the toilet? You have to be a detective since I have found that my mom does lie about stuff, so that I won't find out! I usually have to watch my mom take her pills because sometimes, if I am not looking, she will slip them into her pocket. Anyways, after you figure out why, you have to think of something as to why your father should not do that. Here is where being patient comes into play! LOL. I would start with the truth. Tell him he is having a delusion and his "brain is playing tricks on him from time to time." Explain to him what a delusion is all about. Now unfortunately, this probably won't work, but I still tell my mom every time she has a delusion. Next, I would try to distract him with something else he likes to do. I will tell my mom something like her favorite tv show is on or do you want some cookies? I hate to say it, but you are dealing with an adult two year old who doesn't grow out of it and I say that with all due respect. You could also put a lock on the bathroom door? Again a ton of patience. If your dad does get angry you just have to stop and try again later. You are always going to be wrong in your fathers opinion. Also my mom can get aggressive sometimes if she is super mad. And…….. That's why I might hide the tools from your father. My mom has thrown full water bottles at me before. Good thing she can't throw hard! I could keep going for awhile, so I hope any of this helps you. Again I don't mean to be disrespectful in any way and I am just telling you my own experience so far. Dad is lucky to have you and don't forget that! Feel free to ask me anything since all I do is take care of my mom full time 24/7. God bless you take care of yourself.

harshedbuzz

This is not a healthy situation for anyone living in the house.

Can you get dad out of the house and get a plumber in to reseat the toilet? Once fixed, reverse the locks on all of the bathroom doors and supervise him when he does go to the bathroom or assign him a bedside commode to use instead.

Medication could be useful at getting him unstuck. My dad was very destructive in the late middle stages as well. He was more into electrical wires and appliances than plumbing though. Meds helped extinguish this behavior.

john813

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/242169#Comment_242169

Really? What meds?

harshedbuzz

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/242333#Comment_242333

Often PWD who get "stuck" can respond well to adding either an SSRI like Zoloft or Lexapro and/or an atypical antipsychotic like Seroquel or Risperdal. It may not extinguish the behavior, but will dial it back to a point where redirection works.

HB