Just need to talk to my friends (205) May 2025

Caro_Lynne · May 29

Carl, condolences on the loss of your beloved DW. May she now rest in peace. You and your family are in my prayers.

Lorita, I was worried about David too. Last post I saw was on the Living with Dementia forum sometime early May. He had been in the hospital and was back at VA. So sad not to hear from him.

ladyzetta · May 29

(((Dear Carl)))))) im so sorry for you loss, your dear wife is now at peace. You and your son are in my prayers. Please get some rest. Hugs Zetta

jfkoc · May 29

I never found words helped so sending strong hugs. We will be sitting next to you, quietly, knowing how difficult, wrenching and numbing these days will be for you.

Carl46 · May 29

Thank you all so much for the kind words and hugs.

I told my brother's widow yesterday and she invited me to dinner with her and my niece. It helped, but it still took quite a while to get to sleep last night.

I just finished writing an obituary and sending a photo to the funeral home, with a favorite scripture, the 23rd Psalm. My wife loved David Kincaid paintings so I chose a Kincaid picture of a chapel for her funeral handout.

Now I'm watching it rain and getting ready to call DW's sister. I told our son this morning and he took it better than I feared he might. He knew she was in hospice so it wasn't as big a shock as it would otherwise have been.

My older son's death in 1994 nearly killed us, but my son and I survived that and we will survive this.

eaglemom · May 29

Oh Carl, I'm so sorry. You know we are all here for you. We might be a virtual group, but we sincerely care about one another. The best advice I can give you is to not forget to breath. Seriously. I found with the death of both of my parents I was holding my breath, I don't know why, but I needed those deep long intakes of air to release the stress. Once I figured that out physically I was better, so remember to breath deeply.

When your in Ft. Worth, we love the Kimball. And one thing that doesn't get a lot of attention is the Cowgirl Museum, its quite nice. A small but DH's very favorite museum is the Sid Richardson. It features Remington and Charles Russell works. It is right on Main St downtown. Of course there are many other things, but those are some of our favorites. And bonus, they are inside with air conditioning!

Lorita it will take you a bit to build up your strength. Take it slowly.

Iris keep the photo's coming. They are amazing and appreciated.

I have a stack on my desk that isn't getting any smaller until I start on it. Today's the day. So I'm off to my desk. Let's be careful everyone.

Lorita · May 29

Carl, I hope you are able to get some sleep and rest. When I lost Charles the friends on this thread helped me get through it. They were always here when I needed to talk to someone. We're here when you need us.

I was just out on the front porch and found a few shells of little, White eggs underneath the barn swallow's nest. They were completely dry inside. I hope this means the babies have hatched. Maybe the mother had been sitting on the eggs and the swallow I saw flying back and forth to the next was the papa feeding his mate. Had never seen one of the eggs which are smaller than a marble and kind of oval shaped. I know they did not blow out of the nest- guess the mom discarded them when the babies hatched. There were a couple of half shells and several smaller pieces. Bryon wss going to paint the porches but I won't have it done until the babies fledge.

No rain here but it's getting cloudy - had sunshine this morning. Scrambled the rest of the older eggs for Sheena and Stormy - they love them. Sleeping now.Going to check on the baby eagles.

Iris L. · May 29

Carl, I was sorry to learn of the passing of your dear wife. I offer my condolences.

Iris

BethL · May 30

Carl, I am so sorry to hear of your wife's passing. You took excellent care of her; she was in good hands and now is at peace.

Lorita · May 30

Good night, everyone. Sleep well. Carl, I.hope you are able to rest.

tonjght

Carl46 · May 30

Thank you all.

I think I will be able to sleep tonight. Both of my SILs (my brother's widow and my wife's sister) have been very supportive and have praised the work and love I put into the care of my wife, and that affirmation helps.

It's 11 PM so I'm going to bed. I'll meet with the chaplain tomorrow morning, and then I think I'll take my SIL's advice and do something fun in the afternoon.

Sleep well, friends.

Mint · May 30

Good morning

Carl glad you are blessed with a good support system. That a affirmation is so very comforting.

Mint · May 30

Lorita · May 30

Morning, looks like a pretty day in store here. Enjoy the afternoon, Carl, and everyone.

eaglemom · May 30

My goodness, where is everyone? Lorita, you are correct, it's a beautiful day. Last night, just after the weather forecast of no rain, it started raining! Then we had quite the lightening show. It was so weird. Then again in the middle of the night it happened again. We are predicted to get Syrian Sand & Dust by the end of next week. It turns the sky burnt dirty orange and the air quality is awful then. Ugh.

Carl I hope your relaxing. At least enjoying some sunshine.

Let's be safe everyone.

jfkoc · May 30

spent the morning "listening to" my sister…whew. ..something is wrong but they do not seem to want to go to a Dr.

Now have moved onto trying to get an ancient Bose Wave CD player working. It is an interesting problem.

Lorita · May 30

It is beautiful sunny, calm and not too hot. I guess I'm getting better -mixed up some Round Up and sprayed the poison ivy around the tree stump. It's mixed in with the wild violets. Sprayed nozzle isn't working too well so need to work on that. We're not supposed to get rain until tomorrow night so maybe this spraying will kill it. Also pulled the grass around the mums I planted last fall and pulled out a big planter to put the sweet potato vines on. It's tall and two tiered so will have to anchor it down with tent stakes. I have been bringing them in at night so Rusty won't eat them. Last night I sat them on two cases of dogfood and during the night the cats knocked them over so had to clean up the dirt and repot them.

Beth, I hate it when we get that middle east orbAfrican dust, too.

Need to shampoo my hair and a loaf of bread is almost done. Getting kind of tired but glad I was able to do those things - so getting back to normal. It's been two weeks so about time.

Judith, where does your sister live? Hope everything is okay with her. Hope you get your CD player working. I bought a !little one months ago and have never used it. Wanted to listen to Yanni or The Beatles.

Better stop and check on the bread and call Bryon to see when he can mow.

GothicGremlin · May 30

Carl - I think your SIL is right - do something fun, even if it's just for a short while. Maybe take a walk in a pretty garden?

Lorita - I'm glad you're starting to feel better.

My s.o. and I made it to Charleston, and the weather is perfect! There were thunderstorms yesterday and we had to remain on the plane while the storm passed over (maybe an extra 15 min on the plane). I'd never had that happen before, but it made sense once the pilot explained it. The ground crew has to remain indoors until the thunderstorm passes to minimize risks that they might get hit by lightning. Makes sense to me!

We also (along with my s.o.'s mom) went on the tour of assisted living today. It's just one building over from where she currently lives, and the dining room connects the buildings. She would be moving into a smaller apartment - her current apartment is a one bedroom + a smaller den. The apartment she would move into is one bedroom, but without the den. There's noticeably less storage space, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. She's still onboard with the idea, so she's now on the waiting list. We still have a few more tasks to complete for her while we're here, but I think everything is under control.

The weather is supposed to be nice all through the week we're here, so this is great. I've already taken a walk through the courtyard. It was nice to bask in the sun while sitting next to the fountain.

ladyzetta · May 30

Good afternoon Porch Rockers ☺️

Lorita. It sounds like your feeling better, just be careful and don't overdue it.

Carl. That was a good idea your SIL had, please take time to do something for your self. Then take time to get some good rest.

Last night my daughter and I went back to yoga. Our plan was to go and join up with them, after she got back from her trip. We are now yoga members, we can go twice a week. Our plans are to go Thursdays for relaxing yoga then Tuesday for the workouts. I'm a bit sore today. And that's just from the relaxing yoga.

We just took her dog and my Molly to the groomers, I miss Molly, I hope they get done soon.

Hugs to all, the groomer is done. 😀 Zetta

Lorita · May 30

Zetta, I was always happy when the groomer would finish with our dogs. We had a poodle, Pierre, we took to a groomer and when we picked him up, he was still out of it. She had tranquilized him. We didn't go there again.

I went out on the porch just now to see if there was any activity around the barn swallows' s nest. I moved to the North end of the porch from a closer seat and watched. I had been sitting close and didn't hear anything. Suddenly there were two swallows around, wanting to get to the nest. Mama and papa, I guess. They would get close but never went to the nest. I came inside and watched and one immediately flew to the nest so there are babies up there. Made me feel good.

I have some cat litter and food on the porch to bring inside but decided I wouldn't push it. It's okay out there tonight.

I called and left a message for Bryon but no return call yet. The daffodils leaves are laying mostly on the ground now but not completely brown. Beth, our plant expert, if he mows over them now, will they bloom next year?. I know you can't cut them down when they're green but not sure about now. I surely don't want to miss their blooms next year but it makes it so hard for him to mow around them and the violets.

It has been the most beautiful day and looks like tomorrow will be the same but rain Sat. Night. I hope everyone is well-not many posts today. Barbara, how are you?. Haven't seen a post from you in a coon's age.

I will say goodnight now. Sleep tight. Have thought about you a lot today, Carl. Hope you're doing all right.

Carl46 · 12:09AM

Thanks, I'm OK, sort of. I met with the chaplain this morning as planned. This afternoon I went for a walk in the sunshine and found myself talking to neighbors about my wife's death and the events leading up to it. Not a bad way to spend an afternoon under the circumstances.

I have a hole in my heart and tears in my eyes, but I'm starting to heal. It will be better after we bury her next to our late son Tuesday. I can do some fun things then.