Days Out for MC Resident?

[Deleted User]

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SDianeL

it’s a tough question. I think if you’re asking because of his behaviors it may be time. Can you join him for dinner at the MCF instead? Can you plan it so he just comes for dinner and then you take him back right away? Anxiety is common and so is sadness and crying. Something may trigger those behaviors like change of scenery. He doesn’t remember your house or that he’s been there before so that may cause anxiety. So sorry. I know this is difficult. 💜

harshedbuzz

Behavior is communication.

He may have progressed to a point that leaving the MCF is producing anxiety for some reason. He may have moments where he doesn't recognize some of the people at your house, for instance. Or maybe he doesn't have the stamina to be away from his place for the length of a dinner.

If the MCF has a private space, you could host a dinner there and see how it goes. Or you could bring treats when you visit. I never visited dad empty-handed; I always brought a nice coffee and pastry, a homecooked meal, fast food, ice cream, etc.

HB

SiberianIris

My mom is not in memory care yet, but will be soon. If what you described happened with my mom, it would be a sign to me that days out of MC were at an end. You are to be commended for your efforts in giving your father these outings, but remember that you count too. There is a higher likelihood of him falling when you take him out (getting in and out of cars, uneven ground, etc.). This could injure you as well.

Since his MC offers programming, I would look at the schedule and see what might appeal to him and make a visit out of that. He would probably really enjoy doing it if you're there with him. That would take some pressure off of you having to entertain him.

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April23

Oh gosh, I am right there with you. What we are starting to do now are just very short outings—going out to eat very close by for only an hour tops, sometimes we just drive around the nearby lake with the windows down. I am thinking that the holidays last year were probably the last time we bring my dad to my home. It's sad to me but I have to remember that the distress I feel over not taking him out is probably affecting me more than it is him. It's so helpful to read these responses.

psg712

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/246200#Comment_246200

"The distress I feel over not taking him out is probably affecting me more than it is him." Thank you for that reminder. I don't often stress about not taking my mom out very often now, but others who love her tend to worry about her being stuck in the facility. I think they equate her being out and about with cognitive stability - which is not the case. It's hard for them to understand that sameness and routine are more beneficial to her now than outings are.

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