Help with getting a diagnosis

mooreal

My DH has many AD symptoms. I've called his Drs office and notes were made to give to his med team. He refuses to let me accompany him for checkups. His false accusations, hallucinations and "hearing" things are really affecting my health.
What more can I do, I'm at the point of leaving.

H1235

Welcome. So sorry you have to be here. Is there a patient portal available? If he doesn’t use it you could sign him up and get information that way. Do you have hipaa rights? Could you just call the office and get information after the appointment? If he is having hallucinations and hearing things I hope he’s not driving. What if you just went to the appointment with him and let the chips fall where they may. If he acts up in front of the doctor maybe there would be some urgency to diagnose and treatment. If you ever feel unsafe I would not hesitate to call 911. If he is taken to the hospital you could then request a psychiatric evaluation.

A person with dementia often has anosognosia. This is the inability to recognize their symptoms and limitations. If you are pointing out his symptoms this is probably not going to go well. It usually works best to use work arounds or fibs to get them to do what you need. This is still not easy and it takes time to get used to this approach(and even then may not work). So ask to go with him because you want to quickly ask the doctor about something to do with your health (I know that’s not the way things are done, but it might work). Or maybe you need to schedule an appointment for yourself, or have a question about the bill. I hope you can find a solution.

mooreal

Thank you for the suggestions.

Chris20cm

I went through the same thing with DW and the hostility and paranoia were intolerable. Seroquel (Quetiapine) pretty much solved that problem, with the side benefit that she sleeps a lot and that gives me a couple of hours of refreshing solitude most mornings. She takes both Zoloft and Quetiapine which seem to be the right combination for both of us to get through each day. She is in stage 6 of AD now.

mooreal

Thank you for the reply Chris. Our reg GP retired in Feb and he actually had prescribed both of those meds, although no true dementia tests have been done. They maybe (?) helped a little, but DH decided he was only going to take his BP and chloresterol meds 🤷. They did help him sleep, now he sleeps a bit from 11-3 or 4. He mostly stays in the hot, humid yard working. If he stops, he immediately sleeps. He scares me driving but still does.

Lgb35

do you have a new GP? I set up the patient portal for my DH for all of his doctors. I have sent the doctor messages about things so I don’t have to say it in front of him. Also if you have access to the portal you can see the after visit summary and sometimes you can see notes.

Maybe you could say you want to go out to eat after his appointment so you should just tag along

SDianeL

So sorry you are going through this. I would go with him to the doctor and go in. Let him get upset. I would ask to speak to the doctor privately. Make up a fib about why. I would Take away his keys or disable the car. If he’s in an accident you could be sued and lose everything. Ask the pharmacist if the meds are able to be crushed and if so, put the medication in his food. His reasoner is broken and he doesn’t know he has memory issues. I would immediately take control of everything. We understand how difficult that is.

harshedbuzz

@mooreal

I am sorry for what you're going through.

You mention that your DH has not had a comprehensive evaluation with neurology, but do you know if the previous GP did the preliminary blood tests and imaging to rule out conditions that mimic dementia and might be treatable?

You've gotten some good advice so far. Another ruse to get a PWD into the office would be to schedule him but tell him it's your appointment and you'd like him to come along to support you.

If that's not doable, you could let him get into a rage and having him transported to the ER to be transferred to a geripsych for a medication management and potential placement from there.

HB