My Mother's Siblings

CoryT

I have a question, what should I do about my mother's siblings who are coming from out of state and want to spend all day at our house? I think that it's too long and offered a 3-4 hour visit yet they complain. Any thoughts?

H1235

Does your mom nap during the day? Maybe just tell them she naps everyday at this time. Could you blame it on the doctor. Doctor said naps are important or doctor said overstimulation is not good for her so we can’t do an all day visit. I would definitely keep an eye on how she is doing and if she becomes overwhelmed pull them aside and be kind but very blunt with them. I would say maybe they will notice how overwhelmed she is and leave, but I doubt it. It’s amazing how some people can be in the same room, have the same conversation and be completely oblivious to a loved one’s confusion and stress. My sil would drone on about her work with my mil (with dementia). She was so confused and had no idea who sil was talking about. Sil was clueless. I hope you can find a solution.

CoryT

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/253351#Comment_253351

Thank you so much! I'm gonna try the napping idea. Hope it works. 😁

Quilting brings calm

I suggest you let them do try it on day 1 … and you use the time to leave the house. Obviously with your phone and leaving your plans open so you can be back quickly. Maybe with a stop in every couple hours just to check. Since they are out if state, they probably don’t really understand the point she is at.

JulietteBee

Yup, I concur with QBC. Let them come! Let them spend the day. You, take the opportunity to go get some "Me time."

CoryT

I can't leave my mother with her out-of-state siblings. They have no idea what state she's in. She's been losing her balance several times a week. A while ago I asked our Caregiver about this and she said, "you have to be careful. Preventing her from falling is our first priority." My uncles and aunts aren't trained to watch her and are easily distracted. They are upset that they can't stay all day, but I'm setting boundaries to protect my mother's health and dignity.

JJ401

I would not leave her with the siblings for the day either. But, after they have been there a short while, I might pop out for a quick errand or have something in another part of the house to attend to.
They may think they will stay all day, but my guess is that they won’t. They have a vision of their sister in their mind that no longer exists. Once reality sets in they may be quickly out the door.