Overwhelmed

Bugj,

The “normal” OK has probably left the building. But I have gotten excellent feedback here from folks who have been on this road for a while so use this forum to help yourself and to help others, communicating with others is very useful I find. The single best comment I have received is this: It is just as important to take care of yourself as it is to take care of your spouse, your life and wellbeing is just as valuable, don’t neglect yourself.

Bill_2001 just posted two sets of excellent information, take a look at those.

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/67581/helpful-suggestions-eight-years-in-part-2#latest

All the best in your journey.

@Bugj My mom was caregiver for my dad who had a neurological condition. She told me that in all the visits to his doctors no one ever asked how she was doing. That really bothered her. He’s been gone for many years but she still mentions that from time to time.

I was overwhelmed to when my husband was diagnosed with VD year ago. All the planning for the future. POA and stuff is a lot to think about.

Hello - my husband and I moved right before his diagnosis. Honestly, the move was rough and highlighted many symptoms (long story). My recommendation is to move to where you need to be. Will you have more support after the move? Will it be better for you? As your husband progresses, it's going to be hard regardless of where you live. Try to put yourself in the best possible place and situation so that you can care for your husband AND yourself. Sending you positivity.

I also wanted to share that I set up an area in the groups section for new caregivers. I've been gathering resources and helpful posts that were useful to me as I started on this journey.

https://alzconnected.org/group/32-new-caregiver-help

Not taking care of my own health. Since my husband was diagnosed. Is having the consequences that everyone warned me about.

I can relate. I am always wondering if I'm doing the right thing or the wrong thing.

Hi BugJ.

As you mentioned, no one will ever know what it feels like to watch your LO slip into their own world and there is absolutely nothing you can do.

I've always been a fix-it person. Anything goes wrong around the house, automotive, electronics, etc., I can usually fix or figure it out. With Dementia-NOPE! There is nothing I can do for my DW of 40 years. I feel like I'm letting her down.

Do you know if you're doing the right thing caring for a LO? I wonder that every day. I have to rely on the feedback of her Dr's. When the visit summaries read "the tests look good" or "she looks healthy and well cared for", I take that as I might be doing something right. And, you have to rely on what you think is right.

I can't say things will get better. But, when your LO has good days-cherish them. That's may be the closest you get to see them as they were. Those good days get few and far between.

I certainly wish you the best. There is a lot of good information here and a lot of very helpful people who are willing to share their knowledge.

This blog has been helpful for me to understand what I am up against. Early mod diagnosis but I can see it now eating away past 8 years or so. My wife is only 53. Pet can, mri, cat SCAN and diagnosis confirm Alzheimer’s stage 3 or so. So beautiful inside and out. Professional model, radiologist, 3 college degrees. Most beautiful woman in the world to me.

Hello. You do the best you can do, and do it with love. And that's the right thing. No one else's opinions matter. This might go on for several years. It has taken me a very long time to feel that I did the best I could with the knowledge and resources I had. Always, always, I give him all my love and that keeps me going.